Team Larson "Neva Div Up..."

Well, I did it! Shave for the BRAVE was AMAZING!!!

2010-09-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, Where do I even begin?
First, I’ll share a link on a story that was in the paper before I took off for California…

Going bald - MessengerNews.net | News, Sports, Jobs, Community Info. - The Messenger

The 46 Mommas Shave for the Brave event was beyond words…
Here’s the Before Pic with Caden…

Scott and Caden took me to the airport in DesMoines in the wee hours of the morning on the 7th. We left home at 3:45 am. Caden had his blanket and pillow in the back of the van and said, “whoa- is 4:11 A.M.??? It feels like we are the only people on Earth!” - and it did as we drove in the dark.

We said our good-byes at the airport, I took a deep breath and was on my way- I flew to Houston and had a short wait to change planes for LA. As I was waiting, I went to get some snacks and the lady said, “Again???” as she looked at my shirt…I didn’t know what she was talking about until I figured out there was another woman who had just bought snacks who was wearing the same 46 mommas shirt. As I walked back to sit down I met Shannon Montemerno (Sean’s mom). She was from Houston and was going to LA to shave as well. (She was the first of many amazing Moms I would meet throughout the week!) We got to the hotel and only had a few hours until we headed to Hollywood to rid ourselves of our locks. Yes, I was nervous- and was #33 in line to get buzzed. Michelle Spoonie (Bailey’s mom) was #41 behind me in line and as we watched she said, “hey- I have my car in walking distance- should we make a run for it?” haha- Here’s a picture of Michelle (thanks for letting me sleep at your house one night Michelle!), and Heide Randall (my idol- I love her!:) and myself as we waited our turn…

Here we all are before…

I was a little nervous waiting in line…(can you tell?!?!?!) haha

We took the BEFORE photo…

I watched the brave go first-

I can’t even describe what it was like to watch the clippers shaving all of that hair! They had soap opera stars doing some of the shaving…the only one I recognized was Ester from the Young and the Restless. BUT the AMAZING woman who I was so blessed to buzz my hair was Sharon Blynn- she is an ovarian cancer survivor, and has kept her head shaved for 10 years now … check out how beautiful she is here-

http://www.baldisbeautiful.org

And it didn’t take long to find out that she was not only beautiful on the outside, but her inner beauty was absolutely breathtaking! She just shined of love.

Then it was finally my turn…

And the AFTER shot…

THANK YOU SHARON!!!

Time to celebrate!

Wednesday night we got to go to rehearsal for the StandUp2Cancer show…Lady Antebellum recorded the song they sang on the live show that night. Their song “I Run to You” makes me tear-up every time I hear it, and it was so much fun to see them actually perform it live, although the video playing in the background had us ALL in tears.

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My sister Barb and brother-in-law Kevin live about an hour from where our hotel was, but can you believe they were in Hawaii when I got there? Yeah, what are the chances of THAT?!? They DID get back late Wed. night, so I was able to at least visit with them for a while on Thursday…here are some pictures of when they took me to the beach and out for supper… (thanks Barb&Kevin- I love you guys!)

Then Friday was the StandUp2Cancer show-( live Fri night)- but we had to be to Sony Studios that morning to get ready. They took us to a make-up trailer and we were treated like stars.

It was a lot of fun…still, I kept thinking about how bittersweet it all was. I thought a lot about Coleman, and all the moms there who were missing their kids too. Some of the moms had their kids there…little Benjamin in his wheelchair just melted my heart- His smile was SHINIING!!!- and then there was little Grace who I overheard say to her mom, “Mom? I wish I didn’t have a brain tumor” and then sat down on the sidewalk because her feet were tired from standing. *sigh*

It is so weird to go back to the 46mommas website now and see everyone with hair! We shaved shortly after we all met, so I didn’t ‘know’ a lot of them WITH hair…thanks to everyone who donated to my page- I raised almost $4,000 and all of the mommas together raised $177,379! The page is still active if anyone wants to still donate. Again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.46mommas.com

Click on 46 momma event to see some live footage of the shave…it will kind of give you an idea of what it was like to be there….

46 Mommas - The Event from St. Baldrick's on Vimeo.

There just aren’t words to describe how it felt to be surrounded by others who knew what it’s like…what we’ve been through. We came from all over the United States, different ages, different backgrounds, different walks of life, yet one part of our paths was the same, we all had those horrible words spoken to us, “your child has cancer.” Uggg- I wish no one had to know that feeling. There wasn’t a one of us who wouldn’t have traded places in heartbeat to be a “normal” mom at home taking our child to school that day. The mommas I met will hold a special place in my heart forever. The experience is something I will NEVER forget as long as I live.

THANK YOU to everyone for your support- I think we made an impact. I HOPE we made a difference and at least raised awareness. If you watched the show, we were only on screen for a split second, but the standing ovation we got meant so much to us, and I could just hear Coleman whispering, “Neva Div Up- wight mommy?”

Little Army’s story was featured on the show. It was so nice to get to visit with his mom Lindsay again. She’s an amazing mom. We Iowa Moms have to stick together Lindsay! lol

Sweet Renee Combs was there shaving in memory of Coleman as well- THANK YOU Renee! It was so nice to meet you and your mom!

I got to meet beautiful Sammi and her equally beautiful Mom Ellen who shaved together-

And little Zoe and her grandpop Paul- such great people!

And of course Mimi and Michelle had to have our after pic taken together!

I could go on and on listing the phenomenal women I had the chance to meet. Yes, we met celebrities, but to me, it meant more to meet the people who came up to me and told me they had prayed for Coleman and our family…THEY were the ones who had me in awe! The whole experience is something I can’t even begin to put into words.
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They didn’t let us have cameras when we went back stage, but a few people have sent me photos they got…here is Rob Lowe- he wore a team Larson band on the StandUp2Cancer show! (yes, he’s gorgeous in person, and hugged every single momma in line!)

Here’s a picture of Stevie Wonder& the mommas…

I got to give Katie Couric a high five and got a hug from Jay Leno….

Like I said, all bittersweet, but it was really nice of them to acknowledge us- and they all said they thought what we were doing was great.

I flew home Saturday, but my plane was delayed in Minneapolis. Scott and Caden expected to pick me up at the airport around 8:30, but I didn’t end up landing in DesMoines until 11:30. They were happy and shocked to see me! BOY did I miss the! Caden’s first words when I asked him what he thought were, “well….you look weird…..” He checked me over and added. “but I mean that in a good way.” (he even had to smell my head all over!)

Scott was surprised at how DARK my stubbly head was. :) Until I reminded him that yes, I DID color my hair honey, I’m not a natural blonde…haha

So I went back to school Monday morning and look at what I found in my classroom! 46 hats hanging on the wall and this note.

Yes, I cried. I am soooooo blessed to work at a school with such awesome kids and teach with my WONDERFUL friends each day. THANK you Duncombe Elementary!!!

So it’s back to “normal” (haha) around here. My class has adjusted well I think. They love the fashion show I’ve been putting on for them, trying out all of the hats. I’m adjusting too… It is so weird how COLD my head gets- especially around my ears! And I find that some hats are itchier than others. It IS nice to roll my windows down and drive-what a good feeling not to worry about messing up your hair, or getting hair in your eyes as you drive- and wow do I save a LOT of time in the mornings getting ready for work! You gotta love that part!

I feel a little like a chia pet as it starts to grow out, I think it’s going to take a while, as my hair grows pretty slow, but overall, I’m so happy I did it. I did it for the kids- for Coleman…and before I end this, here’s a little video I don’t think I’ve ever posted. I smile at how Caden is trying to tease him by yelling “Cole-man? I got bunny!” and Coleman saying, “I’m singin right now!” Oh how I miss that singing.

OH- I almost forgot, I have a little story to share before I go…when it was time for me to fly out of LA, a lot of the moms went on an early flight, but mine didn’t leave until later. I packed up the room and headed down to the hotel shuttle service. My chauffer Freddie said I was the only one that would be riding. On the way to the airport we chatted about how he had been driving bald mommas all morning. He said he and his mother had watched us on TV the night before. I noticed he had a Team Larson wristband on…(I had put all of my left-overs on a table in the hotel lobby with a sign that said ‘Help Yourself’.) I told him the green band he was wearing was from my son Coleman’s fight. He asked me lots of questions about Coleman and childhood cancer as he drove. We chatted along the whole way. When he dropped me off I thanked him, and he said, “YOU are thanking ME? YOU are thanking ME? No, Thank YOU for telling me about your son.” I took a picture of my new friend Freddie with his Team Larson band to add to our book- he was choked up, so I appreciated him letting me snap the photo…Freddie told me he will remember Team Larson- and I know I will never forget him. God Bless this man.

Please help us keep spreading awareness- Let the world know September is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month- 46 kids a day are diagnosed (although I really don’t believe that # any more- I think it’s higher) Let them know the color is GOLD--- our kids need funding for research. We need better treatments, we need prevention, we need a CURE! Neva Div UP!!!!

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

GoodBye Summer and Our Latest News...

2010-08-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

Well, WOW did August just fly right by or what?!?

It was a busy month around here getting ready for school to start again. Caden went and stayed with Grandma Jeffrey again for a few days while I had to start back for teacher work week. Thanks again so much to my sisters and brother for keeping him entertained and packing his stay with FUN! WE LOVE YOU!!!! We picked him up and weren’t even 10 miles away when he said, “I miss Grandma already,” and he had to call her on my cell phone. I think the feeling was definitely mutual!

He went back to daycare this week since his school started two days after mine. (for those of you who don’t know we are not in the same school system…he goes to the school district where we live, and I work about 15 miles away in another, so we both have our OWN school.) BUT we’re both in the FIRST GRADE classroom this year, which is interesting! He did get to come and scope out MY first graders during our open house, which he thought was pretty cool…then we went to HIS open house a couple of nights later- he’s in a new building this year since his elementary closed last year. I was a little worried because it meant he would have to ride the bus from daycare in the mornings, and last year he SWORE he would NEVER ride the bus again! BUT he LOVES it! He loves his teacher, he got a LOT of his buddies, (and girlfriend!) in his class, and he says he LOVES riding the bus! (It’s only about a 20 minute ride tops.) We’re keeping our fingers crossed this LOVEFEST with school continues throughout the year!

Here are a few pics from Open House night…also some from the first day, but Scott took him that morning since I couldn’t take off work, and well, you know- Scott isn’t the big picture taker of the family!:) I was happy that he at least got a couple! (some people have asked, and YES it IS hard thinking of how much we would love to have pictures of Caden and Coleman walking into school together…it will ALWAYS be hard.we know Coleman was watching over Cade though as much as we would LOVE to have them together physically, we’re so proud of how Caden is facing things on his own.)

Open House Night:

Caden by his locker-

His locker is right next to one of his buddies…

First Day of School…thanks Scott for taking pics!

First Grade here he comes!!!

His first assignment- practicing his letters and numbers-

I'm thankful he's getting into writing and drawing more- here's a little memorial he made for a dead squirrel he found a couple of weeks ago…notice the angel wings on the squirrel- :)

My first week back teaching was TIRING! Haha I forgot how 21 first graders can wear you out! I have an awesome class though, 15 boys and 6 girls, and LOTS of fun stories to share already. It’s always exciting getting to know them. I knew it would be a LONG week when most mornings SEVERAL would ask when lunch was by 9:30, and continually asked, “When do we get to PLAY????” lol Kids will always be kids.

Before starting school we tried to pack in some fun days…we did the water park and the lazy river as much as possible, had bonfires and just soaked up the last bits of summer. Boy did it go by quick! Here are a few pictures of a BIG rain we got…this is the most water I’ve EVER seen in our yard! I was beginning to think maybe we'd mhave our own lazy river out our front door! Thankfully we only had a little in our basement, some of our friends were not so lucky.

That’s the end of our driveway-

And another storm left us with some BIG branches to clean up! Here’s one Scott and Caden had to pull over to our burn pile to cut up…

And here are a few pictures I snapped one night when they didn’t know it. Caden was mad at me, I can’t even remember why now, but he jumped on his four-wheeler and took off with tears in his eyes. I told Scott I needed to walk away- and take some deep breaths! THESE pictures show why I think Scott is the best dad ever….he went and talked to Caden until he calmed him down. Scott has 100 times more patience than I do- and I love him for it!

Well, Just when I’m singing his praises for being such an AWESOME dad, I walk outside a few days later when Caden had some buddies over and saw THIS!

Am I the only one who thinks this is a REALLY bad idea??!?!?!?! Haha- I had to WALK AWAY AGAIN- and breathe deeply! :)

Okay, Here’s Caden with his AIR HORN…now I have some BIG news I want to share….Make sure to go to keep reading!

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Do you remember in the last post when I talked about the 46 mommas? They are shaving their heads together to raise money for childhood cancer…go back to the last post for more details OR go to www.46mommas.com...

http://www.46mommas.com

Well………I am NOW ONE OF THEM! This was not an easy decision…not that I didn’t TOTALLY believe in what they’re doing, I just wasn’t sure I could get the time off work with school just starting, and it’s going to be in California so making travel plans, etc.

Well, God made sure ALL of that worked out, and I am OFFICIALLY a part of the 46mommas! Some people have asked WHY 46? This is the number of children newly diagnosed with cancer EVERY SINGLE DAY. A few people close to me don’t understand why I feel the need to do this. (Not Scott, he’s all for it! HE knows exactly why I’m doing it, but I know the people who think this is crazy for me to do, only feel this way only because they love me…)
This is something I WANT to do…we NEED a cure! We need better treatments at the least…and it won’t happen unless we have awareness...I'd give ANYthing for that.

Believe me, if you would have asked me a few years ago if I would shave my head, it wouldn’t have taken me a second to answer “NO WAY- NOT FOR ANYTHING!” That was then. So much has changed since then, including me, and what I value important in life. I remember when Coleman’s hair first started coming out. It was like a knife in my heart with every handful that I found on a pile of pillows he and Caden had stacked up in the middle of the living room floor. They were jumping into them and Coleman, who had recently finsihed his first chemo treatment was shedding- BAD! We had a family picture for the church book scheduled for the next morning. I just wanted his hair to stay in for that picture so badly. I kept telling him to QUIT jumping, but it was no use. He and Caden were giggling away and having so much fun. We should ALL be more like kids- they know what's TRULY important- and that day it was having FUN! I remember picking the pillows up off the floor and crying. The hair loss made it all so real…

We got the picture taken, and there sat Coleman with a big smile looking a little like Squiggy off of Lavern and Shirley. When I look at that picture now, I don’t even notice his hair. His smile is all I see now…a smile that came from his heart. I NOW know beauty is not in hair…it’s in a person’s heart, and Coleman had the most beautiful heart of anyone I’ve ever known. Soooooo, I’ll be shaving and smiling…I’m so excited for this adventure! (not to say I’m not a little “ner-bus” as Coleman would say!) BUT I know it will be a great experience. As they shave my head, I will be thinking of every single time I told Coleman he could be brave, every blood draw, every GCSF shot, every catscan, every MRI, every spinal tap, radiation treatment, chemo drip, blood transfusion, for every procedure…he would say he was a witta bit ner-bus, but he always put his brave face on, and as soon as it was over, that smile that melted my heart would be back.

I have to start preparing my class this week for a sub, and also a teacher returning after Labor Day bald! :) I bet they will never forget their crazy first grade teacher who SHAVED HER HEAD! :) I’m doing this for Olivia who I had in my class last year, a spunky rhabdomyosarcoma survivor, (I have her brother this year) for our friend Becky, who relapsed with leukemia a couple of weeks ago, who has walked beside us in our curesearch walks- (we love you BECKY!), for the man who stopped by our house last week in tears because his son was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, and he was in shock looking for advice, for the mom from Canada who contacted me last week with a story so eerily similar to Coleman’s, and she was looking for something, ANYthing to save her ONLY son. For ALL of the kids and families we’ve met along Coleman’s journey- way too many to list….It breaks my heart and makes me so angry all at the same time. This isn’t something that’s going away. At least 46 newly diagnosed EVERY day… It needs to STOP. And not just children, my dad was taken from us when I was 13 because of cancer- I’m doing this for HIM as well!

Since I signed up so late for the team of mommas, I haven’t raised much money yet…if you’d be willing to visit the site, scroll to my page and make a donation, even $10, I’d be SO grateful!

http://www.46mommas.com

OH and be sure to watch STANDUP2CANCER airing Sept. 10th on ABC, NBC, CBS, DISCOVERY and HEALTH, the mommas are going to be a part of the show! You may just see our bald smiling faces- smiles from the heart!
Thank you so much for your support. Please know how VERY much it means-
As Cman would say, “NEVA DIV UP!” I’m working on it sweetie…mommy loves you- always.

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

ALReady AUGUST?!?!?!?!

2010-08-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

Caden at the Science Center- pretending he’s a weatherman!

Well things have been busy as usual around here-
I think the last time I posted it was right before Caden’s first motocross race. What an experience THAT was for the ‘rookie’! Haha for us all-
The night before I had gone to a wedding with some of my friends, while Scott and Caden went to a motocross race in town south of here. Scott said Caden was making comments all night, “man, I could beat ANY of these guys! I’d leave ‘em ALL in my dust!” He had a pretty big head or a HUGE amount of confidence- (either way you want to look at it).

The next morning he and Scott took off about 11:00 to head to the track at the fair- the race wasn’t until 3:00, so I told them I would come closer to the time. (It was BLAZING hot and super HUMID that day!) By the time I got there, Caden was sitting in the shade in a lawn chair with a far-away look on his face, and I could tell he was NOT too happy. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he didn’t want to race- he changed his mind, it was too hard, and the track was too bumpy….( he’d wiped out a couple of times during practice) I told him I thought he should go ahead and try it since daddy had already hauled all of his stuff up there, and reminded him it didn’t matter if he won or lost, as long as he did his best and had fun… (that WAS what he’d said earlier- but I don’t think he was feeling any FUN once he got there and the nerves kicked in!) Of course he had to wait around for a BUNCH of other races before his, and some of his buddies had come to watch him, so I know he wanted to do good for them- but he was really nervous.

When it came time for him to get all geared up, Scott helped him to the starting gate. Right before his race started, a kid from the previous race came over the last big hill and went FLYING off his four-wheeler- it rolled a couple of times…I thought it was going to land right on top of him! They stopped everything until the medics made sure he was okay. I could only imagine what Cade was thinking sitting in the starting gate watching it! Finally they started his race. He putted around the track so slow I think he got lapped twice before he was even on his second lap! It was NOTHING like how he tears around on his dirt bike at home! It was almost comical how slow he was going! When he went to the far corner of the track I couldn’t see him anymore, but it took forever before he and Scott came riding off the track together and back to the tent. By the time I got back there Scott was taking off Cade’s boots and Caden was crying. I guess he had wiped out and hurt his knee…(there was a TINY little scrape on it- but he was quick to point out his INJURY!) He said, “I am NEVER racing again!” (I have to admit, the whole thing was kind of sad, but cracked me up at the same time….it was good that he tried it and saw that it wasn’t as easy as it looked- that he can FLY around the yard here, but when you get on a track it’s different, and when people are trying to race against you it’s not the same. It was good that he experienced that it isn’t as easy as he thought- I don’t think he’ll be bragging that he could beat anyone from now on!)

He was pretty quiet the rest of the day, but that night was getting over it. He said, “I don’t know WHY I didn’t finish the race” He confessed-“ I wasn’t crying cuz I got hurt, it was because I didn’t want them guys to beat me- I was mad that I couldn’t go faster…I shoulda just finished, cuz I think you get a trophy even if you come in last….but what if I WOULD-A got hurt bad, what would you and dad do mom?”

Okay, this broke my heart because I know he was thinking that he’s all we have….since Coleman’s not here. I mean, I’m glad he didn’t get hurt, and I really wouldn’t be sad if he never raced again- (I don’t like seeing crashes either!) but I also don’t want him to be afraid of trying things he wants to do because he worries about us… *sigh* I guess it just saddens me that he’s experienced too much in his short life to be a ‘care-free’ kid. BUT that’s also what makes him compassionate too, so I guess like everything else, I need to look for the positive since you can’t change the past, and know that Caden’s past is going to bring GOOD things to his future- its all part of life.

Anyway- things are back to “normal” and after a week he says he IS going to race again…His exact words were, “I can’t help it, motocross is in my blood!” haha but he might wait a while and for sure he’s going to PRACTICE on the track BEFORE race day! :) Who knows…

Here are some pics from race day-
He wanted a Coleman decal on his bike-

Watching the other races with his buddies…

This was before his race, he was having second thoughts-

Getting his gear on…

Time to head to the gate…

Annnnnd he’s off! (even if it is at a snail’s pace! :)

Last hill I saw him go over…

Daddy to the rescue!

Checking out his ‘injury’…

What an experience!

Let’s see…what else have we been up to? We’ve been enjoying the summer spending time with friends…Caden got to go tubing with his buddies- (THANK YOU KATHY K for the boat ride!)

Scott built him a little ramp he’s been riding his bike over…and he’s learning to skateboard, but always takes time to snuggle his Graycee May…

He loves this cat!

I had a class I had to take last week, so Caden went and spent the week with Gma Jeffrey. He got to go fishing, swimming, ride a horse, oh and see the RAGBRAI bikes as they rode across Iowa…their route went only a couple of miles from my mom’s house, so he was excited to see that. THANK YOU to my amazing family for keeping him busy and showing him so much FUN! I kept calling him throughout the week and asking if he was ready to come home yet…he repeatedly answered “NOOOOOO!” When Scott and I finally drove up to get him he asked if we could turn around and he could spend another week there! Gma spoiled him good! The first thing he said when we got home was, “ahhh, it sure is good to take-a whiz in your own toilet!” I don’t know where he comes up with these things!

When he got back, here’s a note he left on my pillow one morning…it was his breakfast order! HA! I think Gma let him have ice cream with every meal!!! I told him NO ROOM SERVICE here! (but yes, I did give him ice cream and bacon both- what difference does it make if he eats it at 8 am. or 2 pm? It doesn’t happen every day!)

We were on our way to the aquatic center today, and I don’t know how it even came up, but he wanted to know what the word “gender” meant. I said, “well what would you say if someone asked you what gender you are?” He answered, “ummm, I’d say about 19?” I explained that “gender” means male or female, so if someone asked him his gender he would say MALE, because he’s a boy, and I would say FEMALE, because I’m a girl. He sat there for a minute and said, “WELLLLL, I KNOW the difference between boys and girls.” I said, “yeah, I know you do.” He said, “yeah, boys say “FART” and girls say “TOOT”!” I couldn’t help but laugh! Ahhhh- I love the way kids think! :)

I’ve had a rough time lately missing Coleman. I mean, it’s always rough, but lately the waves of grief seem even higher than usual. During the class I took last week we were asked to bring a photo of our family on the last day to share with the class. UGGG!!! That shouldn’t really be a hard task right? I knew I had a choice to make. Do I take one of just Scott, Caden and myself- just share what it is NOW? Or do I take one with Coleman in it and maybe spread a little awareness? I thought for sure I could get up and share our story and not have a problem with it. I was wrong. I got up there and couldn’t speak…I was too choked up. I don’t even remember what I did choke out, but it was nothing I had planned…I was so mad at myself! One of my friends asked me, “well, you don’t still cry every day, do you?” I had to be honest…yes, there is at LEAST something every single day that brings tears to my eyes. Do I sit and sob every day? No, not every day, but YES, some days I DO get to the sobbing point… I don’t expect anyone to understand. I’m sure it seems to some that we have just “gotten over it” but those who have walked this path know that isn’t possible. We’ll never “be over it”. We’ll just learn to cope better. (I hope.) Maybe I will just learn to embrace the tears when they come instead of fighting them so hard. Who knows what I would do if faced with this situation again…I would hope that I could get up and share Cman’s beautiful face and talk about how amazing he was without breaking down. It just wasn’t THAT day…and as much as I hated it, I’ve convinced myself its okay when I lose control.

I told another friend, it gets exhausting making lemonade out of lemons every day. Some days you just have to let it suck, &recharge, regroup, whatever it takes to get you through. Tomorrow is always another day. And I always believe there are two ways to look at everything, you can focus on the negative, or look for the positives. It’s just when the numbness wears off, the pain comes through again.

I miss Coleman’s out of the blue one-liners of wisdom. I miss him telling me, “mommy? You know it’s important to pray…even when things are good, NOT just when they’re bad.” What four year old comes up with that? There were so many things he just ‘knew’. (and he was ALWAYS willing to share his wisdom! :) I miss that. I miss everything about him…people say “you are so strong”…I feel anything but strong- when I’m at my lowest in missing him I feel very, very weak. That’s when I hear Coleman singing in my ear, “they are weak, but HE is strong!” (and holding up his little muscle) I cannot imagine anyone going through this without knowing Jesus’ love and strength- when I think I have nothing left HE is there to pick me up again.

I often read this poem my sister Janice gave me, I know I’ve posted it on here before, but each time I read it, it helps me re-focus.

You can shed tears that he’s gone.
Or smile because he lived.
You can close your eyes and pray he’ll come back.
Or open your eyes and see all he’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him.
Or be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live in the yesterday.
Or be happy for tomorrow because of the yesterdays.
You can remember him and only that he’s gone.
Or cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he would want;
Smile…
Open your eyes…
Love…
And go on.

I’m doing my best to keep on the “or you can” lines of that poem….
Okay, I’ve rambled on enough, I think I’d better wrap this up…thanks for checking in on us, and listening! This always has been my place for “therapy”!

Here’s a video I found one day while saving them to disks. This is Caden and Coleman doing shaving cream…some people say these are hard to watch- for me, it makes me smile…remembering the good times.

Please read on to the end of the post. I have some AMAZING women to tell you about-(if you haven’t heard yet) … 46 of them to be exact. (I think there may even be more than that now!) I admire them ALL more than I can say! Go check them out on the bottom of this post.

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

There’s nothing like Iowa Sweet corn!

46 mommas. Every day 46 moms hear the words “your child has cancer.” EVERY single day. It needs to STOP! These amazing moms are taking action- they’re doing something about it…so one day no mother will have to hear those heartbreaking words- They’re on a mission…to raise one million dollars for St. Baldricks…an organization that does so much in helping to fight childhood cancer. The only way they’ll get there is one dollar at a time….I know many of these mommas. I’ve cheered over good news with some and shed tears with others. They truly are amazing, inspiring women. Our carepage angel Renee Combs is one of the shaves and will be wearing a Team Larson shirt with Cman’s pic on the back…THANK YOU SO MUCH RENEE! It means more to us than we can say! Our hearts and prayers are with all these BRAVE mommas!
Here’s some more info on the big event from my friend Mimi (Julian’s Momma)-

*****************************************************************
ATTENTION CHILDHOOD cancer AWARENESS WARRIORS AND SUPPORTERS!!!

46 cancer Mommas from across the States have come together with an AMAZING idea , shave our heads altogether for our kids and get on national tv to spread awareness...

We will be doing this in September since it IS childhood cancer awareness month. 46 beautiful bald mommas with a passion for our cause.
We have a plan! We will be shaving in Los Angeles ( how appropriate since it is the city of Angels, thanks Carla for that reminder!) , THEN WE WILL BE FEATURED LIVE ON STAND UP 2 cancer , September 10th , it will be broadcasted on at least 11 different national networks including ABC , NBC, CBS, FOX ...
This is our big chance to show the world that KIDS GET cancer too and it needs to STOP!!!!

Our team has so far raised over $70,000 for St Baldricks ( http://www.stbaldricks.org/teams/mypage/teamid/64861 )

This is VERY exciting for all of us...

BUT , WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!!

Anyone with extra miles who could sponsor a Momma's flight , please come forward!!!

The mommas are flying into LOS ANGELES from anywhere in the states and we have limited resources as you all know , considering our situations...

PLEASE, if you are interested in sponsoring a Momma by donating your miles or you have questions on the matter, contact me directly by email , avoid doing it in the messages as it will more than likely get lost :-(

SPONSOR A MOMMA , EMAIL ME @ myriamtx@yahoo.com !!!!! THANK YOU !!!!
And if you can’t, please help by passing this message around!!!
***************************************************************************

Please go visit their website… let them know what they’re doing WILL make a difference.

http://www.46mommas.com
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet Summertime

2010-07-17T07:42:00.001-07:00

Well, it’s a big day for Team Larson….In a few minutes Caden Dale is headed to his FIRST ever Motocross Race he is PARTICIPATING in! YIKES!!!

I’m not too sure about this whole thing, but Scott assures me it will be good for him- and Caden is SUPER excited about it and has been talking about it all week. He asked me, “what if I don’t win mom?” I asked him back, “What IF you don’t win?” He answered, “it doesn’t matter if I win or lose, cuz it’s just all about havin FUN!” Then added, “but I’m gonna win anyway.” Haha- I guess it’s good he has some confidence- and I think it will be good for him to learn a thing or two. We’ll see how it all goes…he said, “I think I’m just a ROOKIE…right?”

He just finished up swimming lessons last night- and has improved a LOT since last year- thanks to his awesome teacher Morgan, (who he loves!) He went off the board by himself, and even learned how to dive off the side- Just being in the water so much here at home and at the pool has made a big difference.

(yeah, that one was an OUCH! haha)
He got better with practice...

The summer is flying by so quickly! Here’s a video I made of Caden so far this summer- some of the pictures you might have already seen, some are new- he loves this song…

*************************************************

Dinner conversation one night last week:
Caden: Mom, your fried chicken is pretty good…it gets like 3rd place… Kentucky Fried is first place.

Me: Who’s is second place?

Caden: I don’t know….I haven’t tasted it yet, but yours is third….
Then he continued- When you make cinnamon rolls, yours get second place. Dad’s get first place, and my school’s………………………they get……… FAT-@$$ last! They’re YUCKY!!!!

(insert me choking on my chicken!)

Speaking of meal-time, one night I made home-made pizza. Scott (aka Mr. Picky! ;) always has to have his own side of the pan, with only meat, while Caden and I load our side with veggies. We ate our meal, and then before bed Scott had a left over piece. He sat there after he ate it and asked, “man, what spices did you put on that pizza?” I said, “I just put a little oregano flakes- that’s it…and not much.” He sat there licking his lips and said, “well, do those get HOT the longer they sit? Because my mouth is burning!...it didn’t burn like this when I ate it before.” We sat there for about ten minutes as he downed a glass of ice water, still complaining of how his mouth was really HOT.

Caden finally BURST out laughing and said, “well, I put PEPPER ALL OVER THAT PIECE! And then I covered it all up with parmasean cheese, so ya wouldn’t SEE IT! Hahaha, you’ve been PRANKED DAD!” He got SUCH a kick out of it. He couldn’t stop laughing! (Scott and I had to laugh too…) But he told Caden, “OH- you just wait….”

A couple of weeks later we came in the house for lunch and Scott started making Caden some macaroni and cheese…after he started boiling the noodles he realized we were out of milk…so he asked me, “do you think I could use some of your coffee creamer?” I told him I didn’t think French Vanilla creamer and mac and cheese would work! He tried it anyway, but didn’t say anything to Caden about it. He dished him up a plate and Caden gobbled it down and even asked for more!

(it was so gross smelling- I could barely STAND smelling it!) While he was on his second helping I asked him how he liked Daddy’s mac and cheese? He said, “IT’S GOOD! I think Dad must-a used extra cheese or somethin’…it’s DELICIOUS!” (Scott and I looked at each other and had a hard time keeping a straight face.) Later I told Caden what dad’s secret ingredient was- (Caden hates the smell of coffee or creamer usually) and he said “WHHHAAAATTTT? ARRRRRRR- UHGGGGG…. I guess dad DID get me back!He sat there for a few minutes and said,.......but it WAS kinda good!”
Hahhahaha

I’m glad I’m staying OUT of their little pranks! :) so far anyway! I want NO part of that!

The other morning when Caden woke up he came downstairs. He threw his arms around me and hugged with all his might…repeating, “I love you mommy- so much….I love you- you’re the best- I just want you to know how much I love you.” Now usually he’s pretty affectionate, but this was way over the top, so I knew something was up. I asked him what all the ‘I love you’s’ were about? He asked, “Didn’t you hear me crying last night? I had a REALLY bad dream!” I asked him what it was about, but he just said, “Please don’t make me tell you mom….PLEASE don’t.” So we just sat there in silence and I soaked up all the loving…

Later that day I told him I felt bad for him that he had a bad dream. I told him I knew how real they can seem, because sometimes I have them too, but we always wake up, and we can be so thankful that it wasn’t real…it was just a dream. He said, “yeah, except SOMEtimes the bad dreams ARE real,
like, you know….what happened to Coleman.”

Sigh….
How could I argue with that? How many times have I wished Coleman’s cancer and all of his ‘having to be braves’ to just all be a bad dream? Too many times to count.

So now, we have added extra prayers to his night time prayers for only GOOD DREAMS…and for his angels to watch over him as he sleeps.
He, Scott and I all have our ‘moments’…There will forever be something missing- Coleman was such a HUGE part of us, that none of us can never be whole again, but we’re slowly learning to deal with it in the way that’s best for us- and that’s not always the same for each of us as the same given moment…but we’re learning as we go.

I’m not sad for Coleman- I know he’s having a WEE OLD time where he is! WE JUST MISS HIM! It means so much to us to continue to hear how his life has left an impact…thank you to all who CONTINUE to send us notes and messages- you will never know how VERY much it means to know he’s remembered.

Last Sunday in church a very talented man from our church sang the song, “I Can Only Imagine”…It brought tears to my eyes- I have always loved this song, and listened to it with Coleman many times. When I heard it again, it reminded me I started a video of Coleman to this song, but had never completed it, so I pulled it back up this week and put the finishing touches on it.

I often wonder what Coleman did when he first saw Jesus face to face. I remember when we were in New York and he was meditating in karate class. They all had their eyes closed and told them to think of the most beautiful place they could imagine, and Coleman had this look on his face of pure joy as he whispered, “Dod!” I will never forget that look. Ever.

When I think about it, at first I thought Coleman would have so many questions for Jesus, but then- I remembered the fact when Coleman asked a question, most of the time he didn’t want YOU to answer, he wanted to ask it, then HE would answer it himself! THAT was Coleman! :)

So I imagine him talking everyone’s ears off up there- with an audience who doesn’t say, “just a minute, I need to finish this and THEN you can tell me…” (yeah, I cringe when I think of the times I said that to him)- I also remember him telling me, “well…..if I was a MOM and I had a TID, I would NOT yust say wait a minute, I would det that TID what HE wanted WIGHT NOW!” hahhaha- like I’ve said, he was one smart cookie, and definitely knew how to work me!

Anyway, here is the video I finished
“I Can Only Imagine”… what WILL it be like when WE meet Jesus?

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Okay, I’m off to Caden’s race- it’s a beautiful day for it! Thanks for checking in on us and for your messages of support. I’ll have to update again POST race and let you know how MR ROOKIE did! :)

BLESSINGS to you ALL!
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

July ALREADY!

2010-07-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

We hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July weekend…we made the most of ours, although I’ve come to realize the 4th is always going to be a ‘rough spot’ for us when it comes to missing Coleman- not that every day doesn’t have its rough moments, but the 4th was his favorite holiday, and like I whispered to his picture- “we’re doing our best C-Man, but it’s just not the same without you here…” Boy did he LOVE the “Fourf of Joo-why”… and the ache seems so gigantic when it comes to celebrations without him here to celebrate with us. We’re thankful for all the memories we have…and we know we’ll need to learn to celebrate with him in our hearts instead of here physically-

We took Caden to the carnival and he had a good time- he rode the rides with many of his buddies from school…he’s really growing and changing every day- and I notice it even more when I look back to pictures and videos of him and Coleman together…at times that seems so long ago…they were such a part of each other, I’m so proud of the way Caden looks for the good in things though… He teaches us how to live for the now. He almost always has a smile on his face, but he has his moments too…

I think the whole carnival and everything brought back a lot of memories for him as well…So many of the rides and games were the same ones he and Cman did together. There were times during the parade he’d mention Coleman…a firehouse went by on a float and he turned around and said, “hey mom! Remember when Coleman FREAKED out in that firehouse in New York?”

We giggled and then he’d sit down quiet for a while. It amazes me sometimes the memories he does have of things I wouldn’t think he’d remember. He was feeling a little down after the parade…when we came home I got out the jello poke cake he and I had made the night before…after THIS, we got a smile back on his face! :)

And during the fireworks we of course knew Coleman sent the green ones as we sat in the back of the pick-up with his empty spot so noticeable.

Caden told me one night before bed, “my eyes are watering….I don’t know if I have something in ‘em, or if it’s from missing Coleman.” It’s so hard to watch him miss his other half…Most days he’s happy-go-lucky, but then he has his moments when I know he’s hurting too. He told me one day, “I use to have a brother, but I don’t anymore. Dead is Dead…and that means they don’t come back…right mom?” I told him, “you will ALWAYS have a brother Caden, he’s just not here with us, but Coleman is ALWAYS in our hearts, and always watching over you…and some day we will be with him again…remember that.” He just sighed and said, “I know, but I wish he was HERE NOW.”

Grief is a journey…and just when you think MAYBE you have a handle on it, and you’re going along, something comes and stabs you in the heart again… Caden wanted me to measure and weigh him last week- Inside our pantry door we started marking the boys heights and weights way back when…after I marked Caden he went off to play, and I just sat staring at that door and it hit me so hard that Coleman’s mark was never going to move…and the tears flowed.

Its little things that hit me the hardest sometimes…but that’s when God picks me up and reminds me of all the blessings I have…and I have sooooo much to be thankful for. THAT is what I focus on because Coleman would want us to… it would be so easy to fall and be taken over by grief and the ‘only-if’s’….but I remind myself that Coleman would NOT want it that way…HE would want us to ‘be happy’. Every day I’m reminded of his “NEVA DIV UP!” And I’m thankful for all he taught me….we are so blessed with ALL he brought to our lives- and we know we will be with him again one day. Yes, we fall…but God always picks us back up.

And so we go on…

Look what parked in a spot next to ours last weekend- I could just HEAR Coleman say- “welllllll you weally don’t see THAT eveeee day, DO ya?” :)

I argue with myself some days of WISHING for things to be the way I want them to be, and telling myself that the most important thing Coleman’s life taught us was to be GRATEFUL for what we have…right here, right now. I know for sure he wouldn’t want us living in the past, longing for things to have turned out differently. We can’t change the past. We CAN carry it with us and live for today& make the most of our future. He’d want us to take what we have RIGHT NOW and look for the good in it. He taught me not to take things for granted… That life can change in an instant, and if you’re always WANTING for something, you’ll miss out on what is right in front of you, and God’s blessings of TODAY.
Coleman was one smart cookie…

Of course you know I have more pictures to share. HAHA
BUT before those, a few funnies from Caden Dale…THESE keep ME smiling! :)
One day I told him, “Caden, you are FRUSTRATING ME!” He said, “yeah, it’s alllllll part-a my REP-YOU-TAY-SHUN!....is that a real word mom? I think I heard it somewhere!”
***********************

Last week I was getting a few groceries while Scott and Cade waited in the pick-up. When I came out I said, “sorry it took me so long” Caden said, “that’s okay, we were just watchin girls go by. If they were pretty I said, “hey baby, what’s happenin?” and if they were old ladies I just said, “Hey- how’s the world treatin ya?” (Scott swore he had no part in it- and he was on his cell phone the whole time. Haha)
******************************

Let’s see what else? Oh- Cade wanted to bring his kitten Graycee May in the house one day to ‘play’….he came running yelling “OH NO! EMERGENCY! EVACUATE! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?!?!” I said, “she better not have gone to the bathroom in here!” He said, “nooo mom! She needs help!” Then he came carrying the barn from his toyroom. Here’s a picture of the barn AFTER the incident…

Oh I wish I would have had the camera ready DURING the whole thing- but you’ll have to picture it….He had put the kitten inside the barn and closed the lid. She stuck her head through the tiny window and was STUCK! I thought she was going to choke and die right there in front of him, and I started to panic right along with him. We were trying to get her head out, but it wasn’t budging. He said, “get the butter!” I said, “We are NOT putting butter on her!” I tried to pull and pull on her but was afraid I was going to break her neck…and she just sat there- no help at all. I just kept racking my brain on what we could do as Caden jumped around tearing up. FINALLY she got tired of looking around I guess and after much tugging she got her head back through on her own. WHEW! She staggered back out the door and hasn’t wanted to come back in since! It took a while for my heart rate to go back down after that one! :) He went out to ‘check on her’ and as he sat stroking her I heard him say, “I think we need to change your name to LUCKY!”

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One day something on the ceiling caught my eye…I kept looking at it wondering what in the heck it was. After a while I yelled for Caden and asked him, “is that GUM up there????” He got a guilty look on his face and said, “ummm, yeah I think it is.” I asked him HOW gum got on our ceiling and he just did an upward throwing action with his arm and his eyebrows in the air with an ‘ut-oh’ look on his face. I asked him how many throws it took before it stuck…He smiled and said, “only two!” like, ‘can you believe that???’
**********************

I took him to the pool today. When I told him it was time to leave he asked me, “well…..can’t we just wait for the coast-guard to blow her whistle for break time?” (he meant LIFEguard) I think I need to get this kid out more! haha

Yep- he keeps us busy, but we wouldn’t want it any other way…I will have LOTS of stories to tell HIS kids one day, and I’m sure a few of HIS antics are payback for what Scott and I were like at his age??? Yikes.

Thanks for checking in on us…your continued prayers and support mean so much.
Here’s a link to an article from one of the Fort Dodge papers on CAREPAGES…and how much your messages helped us through Coleman’s journey- and continue to lift us! Thanks so much Katie Averill for the article!

http://twistandshout.net/page/category.detail/nav/5011/Acts-of-Kindness.html

Hope you are enjoying your summer!
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL-
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

More pics-
Scott and Caden fishing…

Caden on one of our HOT days-

And a few from our 4th…

I’ll be updating again soon….Caden and I have a little project we’re working on in memory of Coleman, and I have some info to share for those of you who haven’t heard about the 46 mommas who are shaving their heads in “Shave for the Brave”! Amazing ladies!!! More on that coming up…
Thanks again for your messages to let us know you still check in on us…

READY FOR SUMMER- FINALLY!!!!

2010-06-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

Well……what can I say about what’s been going on around here lately? This weekend is MUCH better than last….What a scary, crazy month it’s been since the last time I was on here. There’s been a LOT of praying, waiting, hoping, and praying some more…

Might as well start at the beginning I guess. Toward the end of the school year I was having terrible abdominal pain and ended up having to leave school one morning and driving to the Emergency Room in Fort Dodge. I thought it might be my appendix, and after checking me out, the dr thought the same thing. After laying there for what seemed forever, (with so many memories flooding my mind of the times we spent there with Coleman) they did an xray and decided I needed a catscan about 3 hrs after that. I laid there from 9:00 a.m. until about 2:00 when the doctor finally came back in and said he was so sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news. He got a little emotional, and hugging me and holding my hand, saying how sorry he was, but they found two tumors- one on my right ovary, and one in my upper abdomen near my spleen. He said he wasn’t going to lie to me, that he had never seen anything quite like it, and he had made me an appointment at the John Stoddard Cancer Center for the first thing the next morning with a doctor he recommended. Needless to say, I was in shock. They let me get dressed, gave me some meds and said they would show me a short cut out of the ER- I told them not to bother- I already knew it all too well. (This was the hospital where Coleman did blood counts twice a week for 2 yrs… these were the halls he and Caden would RACE down giggling on our way to the “wab”…this is where we brought Cman the day of Christmas Eve when they sent us home, and we’d brought him back the next day for our helicopter ride to Des Moines, …..sigh….) I didn’t say any of this, but it was screaming through my mind….I knew every short cut there was in the place! They gave me some pain meds and I drove home with a far bigger pain in my heart than in my abdomen. Still, I held tight to faith that God would be with us, no matter where this was going.

So the next morning, we sent Caden to school and Scott and I drove down to the Cancer Center in Des Moines…we walked by the place we met with the Make a Wish ladies, (love them!) we walked by the gift shop, the pharmacy, ect…ect…(so many memories) and couldn’t believe we were going to the CANCER CENTER....and that the word “cancer” was again bringing us so much fear. ugggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I met with the very nice Dr. He reviewed my catscan and they did a tumor marker test and an ultrasound. He told us he was “very concerned”. His words were, “well, you have increased blood flow to the tumors, which isn’t something we want to see….so I COULD tell you they are benign….. but with your bad luck (that part made me want to scream- bad luck? Seriously…) I COULD tell you they might be benign, but it probably wouldn’t mean much to you.” He scheduled a surgery for a week and a half later, and said, “we’ll discuss chemo after that, if that’s the avenue we need to take.” I felt numb…I did NOT want to discuss CHEMO. I didn’t even want to THINK about it!

The drive home was pretty quiet. Was this truly happening?!? That night I hit my knees in prayer…I told God that I had never been mad at Him all the way through Coleman’s journey….that I knew He had been there with us every step of the way…but I pleaded with Him how unfair this all was…I didn’t want Scott, Caden, my family to go through this again! As much as I would LOVE to be with Coleman, that Scott & Caden needed me HERE too…that I didn’t understand WHY?!?!? Not again….please!

That Sunday we went to church, and our pastor did a sermon on “why pray?” if we feel God already has a plan, and there is nothing we can do about it, that it’s already set in stone, then why pray? It was exactly what I needed to hear. The entire next week I prayed my heart out! I told God what I wanted, and what I needed…and again felt the amazing spirit of peace that ONLY comes from Him.

I went back and taught the last couple of days of school, and packed up my classroom for the summer- not knowing if I would be returning in the fall, or be taking a leave of absence again- for chemo treatments- sigh- the thought of it made me sick to my stomach!

I have to say that again we found out how VERY blessed we are with our family and friends, who flooded us with prayers and kindness. We will NEVER, EVER be able to thank you all enough! WE LOVE YOU!...and to my Duncombe Family- what can I even say to you??? How many times do I say THANK YOU is NOT ENOUGH!!! You are AMAZING!

My surgery was scheduled for Monday at noon. We had to be there at 10 to be prepped and ended up waiting around until after 2:00 before they took me in. The last thing I remember before they put me out was whispering, “please God, please…” and then I was out. When I came to in my room, Scott told me the AWESOME news…they had removed my right ovary, and it was NOT cancerous, and the upper tumor ended up just being a fatty tumor! WHEW!!! I can’t even explain how GRATEFUL we were!!! Talk about an emotional roller coaster! There have been a LOT of tears of relief, and I have been praising GOD with so many prayers of THANKFULNESS!

I had to stay the night in the hospital, but got to come home Tuesday night, and have been taking it easy- I’m still a little sore, but the feeling of relief is enough to make me want to jump up and down! (ok not yet, but I’ll get there!)

I go back to the dr this week, and hopefully find out when I can resume normal things- and I can spend the rest of the summer doing the things with Caden that I’d planned on doing! (uh-oh…did I just use the word PLAN again!?!?!) You really do NEVER know what life has in store…so we’re NOT going to “plan” a thing- we’re just going to live in the moment, and as always make the most of them!

Caden has been my little “nurse” and has been reading me books and tearing the house apart while I recoup…it’s funny how it doesn’t even make me mad- it doesn’t matter- it can all be picked up eventually….okay- the MUD did make me a little mad! Haha Just for a minute, but I guess that can be cleaned up one day too! :) Just not today. There are bigger problems in the world than a little mud.

This has brought me back to all of the people who have been diagnosed recently, who fight every day, and those who need our prayers. Cancer is a roller-coaster….and NOT a fun one. PLEASE GOD- LET A CURE BE FOUND!
Neva Div up.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE DAD’S OUT THERE- Here are a couple of the videos I’ve I made in the past for Scott…he truly is the best dad I could have ever asked for my boys. His patience continues to amaze me every day. He’s been through a LOT of stress lately- and I’m hoping for a day of relaxation for him tomorrow! :) And to MY dad in Heaven- who Caden Dale is named after, I LOVE YOU & miss you…thank you for being MY best dad! Take good care of Coleman until we’re together again!

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
Teamlarson1@gmail.com

Ps. I know there are some Neva Div Up tshirts I’m behind on mailing out- sorry I fell behind there for a while! I’ll get back on it this week- and if there is someone I missed, PLEASE help me out & send me an email & let me know! We still have shirts and window decals left if anyone is interested- (go back a few posts for details) THANKS for understanding!!!! I’ll get them out this next week!

Oh and also here is some info I’m passing on for Diane Rohrbach – Thanks Diane- it’s a great cause!

Can you help get this out to as many people you can that Care Page families and supporters? I think it is a great idea!
Vote to help kids get transplants
Pepsi, NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson and Be The Match Foundation® are teaming up in a race to win $100,000 to help children in need of transplant.
You can help children battling leukemia and lymphoma receive the marrow transplant they need. All it takes is your vote for Jimmie Johnson in the Pepsi Refresh Project.
Vote for NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson and Be The Match Foundation’s Transplant Grants for Kids.

***Coleman LOVED saying “Jimmie Johnson” – and I loved the way he said it!***
Here is the link:
http://seed.sproutbuilder.com/5wDmua9LMjoHyZP5
http://seed.sproutbuilder.com/5wDmua9LMjoHyZP5

Some of our recent pics…

Caden’s been enjoying the rain we’ve been getting…makes for some FUN puddles to drive through!

And it’s making the corn grow!

Also makes for a LOT more laundry…this was outfit 4 for the day I think! Soaking wet!!!

Daddy to the rescue!

It didn’t stop him…

Some recent pics of us that Scott took…

And Caden bringing me flowers in the hospital- when he found out I was going to have surgery he said, “oh, so it will just be me and daddy then? COOOOOL!” haha thanks Caden!

And a few people have asked about the mother cat and kittens my sister gave him…I really don’t think we were meant to have pets- A few weeks after we got them, TWO of the kittens died…we don’t know why- they were healthy, and not a mark on them, so we don’t think another animal did it, but then the mother and another kitten came up missing about a week later. Caden thinks they went “exploring” which is what we’re hoping…it’s hard to say…farm cats come and go, but he’s now very attached to his lone black cat we’ve had for a long time…so originally named BLACKIE, and now the lone kitten, who he named GRAYCEE. She is a ball of energy and growing- so much fun to play with- and she enjoys ALL of his attention!

Memorial Day 2010

2010-05-31T20:49:00.001-07:00

Well, I know I haven't done an update in quite a while...
This one will have to be short, as I need to get to bed tonight, but I wanted to share some of our latest pics.
Hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. We're so thankful for all the people who have sacrificed being with their families and even given their lives - thank you to all the soldiers past and present for our freedom.

Happy Memorial Day to all of you, thanks for checking in on us...
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

Caden finished up soccer a couple of weeks ago...

The next week tball started~

He made this to take to Coleman at the cemetery...in the oragnce box he wrote, "Life is Good"-

Our friend Jean wrote this poem and had this flag made for Coleman- THANK YOU JEAN...from the bottom of our hearts!

Caden's also been keeping his dirt bike tires hot! :)

and he LOVES these HUGE marshmallows- (I don't recommend them!!!) ha

More to come...we're looking forward to SUMMER!!!!

Happy Mudder's Day...

2010-05-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post on what we’ve been up to…with Mother’s Day coming up, a few people have sent me emails saying they know it will be a hard day- thanks for thinking of me, and for your kind words…you know, it’s just another day to me…like I’ve said before, I miss Coleman EVERY day, and yes, the ‘Hallmark days’ come and go, and they do add a bit of sting to the wound, but the hole is there every minute of every day. I DO consider myself BLESSED to have been given the chance to be Coleman's and Caden’s mommy. The biggest blessing in my life has been the two of them. I’ve made my mistakes here and there, and will continue to do so I’m sure, but the love I have for them is undying- separation is temporary…it doesn’t mean I don’t ache to have Cman here…I do, but I’m choosing to THANK GOD for giving him to me for the time I had him here. He changed my life, even if he was here for a short time…yes, I wanted it to be longer, (My heart aches every minute for that) but I do thank GOD, one day it will be forever. I do my best to focus on that- every day. Please pray for ALL the mommies missing their kids.

Now Caden- well, HE makes sure I continue to smile…Oh how I love him…Here was HIS mother’s day gift to me:

And can you guess what this says?

Answer at the end of the post! :)

I consider Mother’s day a day to celebrate MY mom, so we’re making a quick trip back tomorrow to surprise her. What can I say about my mom? She’s in her 80’s and had me when it wasn’t common for moms to be having babies in their 40’s. She was a grandma before she had me, so I grew up with a niece a year older than me, a niece three weeks younger, and a nephew 2 years later who were like my siblings. I had three older sisters and two older brothers. My dad passed away when I was 13….
My mom has been there for me ALWAYS. She taught me what it was to love your kids more than life. She’s celebrated all my highs and seen me through all my lows. I can ALWAYS count on her. I know Coleman’s passing has been hard on her, because she’s not only had the pain of missing him, but has had to watch ME hurt too. My mom is THE sweetest person I’ve ever known. There just aren’t words to describe her! I love you Mom! Thank you for everything you’ve done and been for me! You’re the BEST!

We FROZE at Caden’s soccer game this morning- but had fun watching him.

Here are some pictures from the circus we took him to last night:

Wait until Gma Jeffrey sees this one! She’ll FREAK! :)

He got to ride an elephant…

It was a fun night…

OH-After the circus we went out to eat…look at what we saw as we came out of the restaurant! The BIGGEST BRIGHTEST rainbow I’ve ever seen! I wish I could have gotten back far enough to fit it all in a picture… Scott and I both commented on how BRIGHT it was…the pictures don’t do it justice. I think it was a MUDDERS day gift from above… :) and reminded me of the song, “His Favorite Color was Green”… and "The Rainbow Connection"

Coleman sure loved his rainbows.

That’s all for now…Have a great rest of the weekend-

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

ps. Quick story about Caden…he wanted to wear cologne to school one day last week. He sprayed some on and said, “oh now the girls will be chasing me!” I asked him if he wanted them to…he said, “no….well….if they’re pretty I do! Especially this one girl who’s a first grader.” I asked him if she was pretty and he said, “OH- you have NO idea! But she doesn’t chase me, she chases my other girlfriend’s brother. He’s one lucky guy!” lol ahhhh the game of ‘chase’. I think we have a LONG road ahead of us! :)

Happy Mudder’s Day to all Mudders out there- Here are a couple of old videos I never get tired of watching. Seems like a lifetime ago...

If pics don’t show up, you can go to:
http://nevadivup.blogspot.com/

I ALMOST FORGOT-***ANSWER TO CADEN'S DRAWING:
It says, “she makes me brownies”…the picture threw me off because I thought it was a band-aid for a minute…then he explained it was a picture of towels the brownies were sitting on, so they didn’t burn the grass….
cuz we’re having a picnic! :)

Thank YOU!

2010-05-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Well, this is going to be a quick update...I need to get to bed, (WHY do Mondays come so soon?!?) BUT I had to get on and say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone for supporting the CureSearch walk in Des Moines this weekend- Our team raised over $5,000, and the walk total is .... $122,000 and still counting!
It was an AMAZING weekend- full of blessings!
I'll update more later...just wanted to share a quick video I put together, and thank everyone again!

Katie and Manish...Coleman LOVED them, and so do we!!!!

Oh and before I go...Caden has more BIG NEWS!!!

Sunday seems to be the day for pulling teeth around here-
Last Sunday he lost his first and today I pulled his second...he was VERY BRAVE!!!
Better make sure the tooth fairy comes before I fall asleep!
I'm exhausted!

Until next time, THANKS AGAIN- and
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

***I know Coleman had a BIG thumbs up from above...we felt him with us.

Three Days to GO~!

2010-04-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

That one’s for you Julie and Rick- LOVE YOU!!!
Hi Everyone,
Sorry- not an urgent message, I just wanted to make sure it sent a notice of an update, as they’ve had issues with carepage update notices in the past…Just a few things I wanted to update on…first off, thank you to everyone who has ordered Team Larson shirts and/or window decals! Our walk is this Saturday, so this will be my last post before then…Caden is super excited! So far we’ve raised almost $3,000…quite a bit less than last year, but we’re still working on raising the total. THANK YOU to all who have donated to our team! Every dollar gets us that much closer to a cure- the total cure for the walk keeps growing, thanks to some very dedicated people! It’s over $80,000 now!
Someone asked me the other day if it was hard to raise money knowing that it wouldn’t bring Coleman back. NO- it’s the opposite! Every time we hear about another parent burying their child it makes my heart ACHE…because we know what’s ahead for them. Diagnosis is horrible, relapse - even worse…even living day to day when your child is deemed “cured” carries its own set of ‘what if’s’… Cancer is NOT an easy road no matter what –but when the fight is truly over, and you’ve been fighting for so long- you need to have SOMEthing to continue to fight for! The thing is, these kids push on in spite of how hard things get…Coleman lived his life to the fullest. Coleman’s memory pushes us to NEVER GIVE UP…we hope and pray for a CURE- that one day cancer will NOT take the lives of innocent children. Again, these are just a few of the Iowa Children … every day there are innocent faces being added to this group…every single day 3 kids will have fought all they could and their fight will be over, but their family’s fight of “going on” remains. THIS is why we walk…THIS is why we ask for your help.

It costs $10 to sign up to be on our team….even if you can’t be there physically; you can still sign up to be on our team roster and make the $10 donation. THANK YOU for joining us, whether you will be there in body and/or spirit- it means so much to us that Team Larson goes on…and that YOU are a BIG part of that! OH- and if you ARE going to be there- registering online means you don’t have to stand in line and register the day of the walk- so that’s a plus!
Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

Soooooo, here is the info in case anyone missed it….
TShirt Info:
Tshirts are $12.
Fronts of the shirts

Back:

We have children’s sizes S-L and Adult S-3XL. (sorry no infant sizes)
If you’re interested you can send your mailing address, #of shirts and sizes to:

Team Larson
Box 251
Callender, IA 50523
Checks can be made to Team Larson.

If you could add a little extra for shipping, I would REALLY appreciate it, as that comes out of my own pocket. I’m not sure how much it will be to ship, but any extra would be appreciated! THANKS!

The shirts were designed by Caden, so he’s very excited about that.
We’re also selling Coleman window stickers for vehicles. They are $6 a piece.
Proceeds will go to our walk for CureSearch.

Window Stickers: (you rub them on and transfer- carwash safe!) They measure about 12”x3 ½”

Here’s our link for our CURESEARCH WALK -
Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .
And a little more info on the walk-
Registration will be at 8am in the green space adjacent the zoo parking lot to the northwest. ***If you register on line you wont need to register at the walk! ***

The walk ceremony will start at 9am.

After the walk, there will be a closing ceremony at approximately 10:15-10:30. This is when our totals will be announced!

From 10:30 to 12:00, Hy-Vee will serve a lunch for $4.50. There will be a choice of hamburger, hotdog, or chicken sandwich, served with a bag of chips, cookie and lemonade. $1 of each purchase will be donated back to CureSearch!

There will be tickets available to go back into the zoo for $4 for the rest of the day.
The Day’s activities include:
- A special performance by Miss Iowa 2010, Anne Michael Langguth
- Face Painting for kids of all ages
- Special Zoo Animal Demonstration by Blank Park Zoo
- Great Music and a ceremony celebrating and remembering children with cancer
- Appearances by Spike the Bulldog, Spider Man and more
- Tasty morning food and drinks
HOPING FOR SUNSHINE…or at least NO RAIN!!!!

Okay, now what’s been up with us? Well, we went to Scott’s Grandma’s funeral today. She was 97 years old. She lived a full life, but funerals are never easy, no matter the age…and what is it about funeral homes that makes my stomach hurt now? Coleman’s visitation wasn’t even in a funeral home, it was at the church- I think it’s the smell of carnations that makes me queasy. Scott’s Grandma had a beautiful service, and we’d like to think Coleman was there to welcome her home. Another sad day, but one filled with hope- and goodbye is NOT the end.

Caden is keeping busy with his kittens- and is outside more than he is in lately…and is dirty all the time- He’s growing like a weed! OH- and he has BIG news- his first tooth came out last weekend!

He was so excited that he got a gold dollar coin for it…because he was supposed to take something for show and tell last week that had to do with the occupation he wanted to be when he grew up. He wanted to take a gold coin…his chosen occupation? LEPRECHAUN of course! Haha I’m going to remind him of that one when he grows up!

He had another soccer game last Saturday, and has been riding his dirt bike every chance he gets. He’s growing and changing every day- Oh his newest words he’s using every chance he gets are “harsh” and “customize”…
“I wanted to play with this boy at recess, but he was too harsh…so then I asked another one, but he was harsh too.”
“Can I use some of your paint to customize this envelope? I need to customize this picture too.”
He cracks me up.
OH- the last time we went grocery shopping, look what I found!

We used press and seal too many times to count when we had to put Emla cream on Cman’s port to numb it up. The press and seal worked better than anything we found…so when I saw THIS on a package of Press and Seal, I thought- HOW FITTING!

Kudos to Glad for giving back- hopefully the people who purchase this will actually get on their computers and enter the code…every dollar makes a difference!

How little it takes to excite me sometimes! :)
Someone asked me the other day… “it’s good to see Caden doing so well, but how are YOU?” *sigh* I had to think about that one for a minute. How am I? Let’s see….there are still days I find it hard to get out of bed and face the world…there are still moments that take my breath away and choke me with grief…there are still moments I cry myself to sleep…but I answered, “I’m okay.” You know, we all have our own moments of hard. That doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of good in there too. That’s life- right?
I was thinking of the question and likened it to a post I did a while back about every one having an invisible bucket that holds their good feelings. Every day your bucket is being filled up and dipped out of. I need to consciously make sure I fill mine with prayer and surround myself with supportive people- (I am blessed with wonderful family and friends!) If I didn’t make that conscience decision, I could easily see myself falling into depression. (It seems like there is a hole in my bucket dear Liza…) I didn’t use to have to worry about the good things dripping out- and maybe one day I’ll find a plug to put in the bottom, but for now, it’s an ongoing process of trying to keep more going IN to fill it up, than is dripping out.
Then I started thinking maybe it’s like I’m in a boat that has a hole in it and I’m constantly trying to bail water out to stay afloat. Some days water seeps in faster than others, but I can’t stop scooping up water and throwing it out, or I’ll easily go under. If I can keep bailing, I’ll be okay…but it gets exhausting sometimes.
THEN I started laughing at my crazy-self realizing my two analogies were complete opposites- one with things dripping out and one with it coming in…but that’s kind of how my mind works now! Sometimes I don’t make much sense!
How am I? I miss Coleman more than I can even begin to explain. HE always made my bucket spill over with happiness. No matter how tough things got- he always had a funny comment to make me laugh- or a song to fill my heart- or a hug and “tiss” to make me know it would all be okay, or a bit of wisdom on faith that made me wonder where in the world this boy came from and how I got picked to be his mom. WE MISS HIM… so much.
But you know, what choice do we have- but to push on…until we see him again. AND continue to thank God for every day we had with him. Scott and I continue to have our good and bad moments- the most important part is we hold each other up when the other one needs it most.
I thought I’d share a funny Cman story I don’t think I ever put on here…just for old-time’s sake. I was reminded of this when I had to buy Kleenex the other day. There’s a type of Kleenex they sell that have VICKS right in them. I remember I had a coupon when they first came out, so thought I’d try a box. I brought it home and put it in the bathroom….
Well, we were in church one Sunday and Coleman was talking to one of our friends sitting behind us. Once Coleman started a story- you were NOT going to distract him, or stop him no matter how hard you tried.
He started in… “you know them Tweenexes what haff Vicks in em?” (I knew we were in trouble RIGHT when he started with that!) “well, my mom got us some. She put em in the baf-woom and daddy telled her- DON’T put em on the back-a-the toy-wet cuz we were outta toy-wet paper.” “ann he USED one ann he said, WHO-WEEeeee!”
Haha Leave it to Coleman- I’m sure he thought he was doing good by warning her NOT to get VICKS Kleenex, and if she did, NOT to put them on the back of the toilet, OR to make sure she wasn’t out of toilet paper if she did!
Sooooo, yes, I bought another box of Vicks Kleenex, just because the memory made me think of the C-Man. But NO, I did NOT put them on the back of the toilet! :) Yes, he taught MANY lessons!
Here’s a video I have never posted- probably because our house was a PIT that morning, and the boys were still in their jammies- with cereal on the floor- I think they did have a little dust pan in there trying to clean it up, but this is the video Caden requests more than any of them. He will watch and sit and giggle his head off. THIS is what he misses the most. Look at how good Coleman was feeling- it’s so hard to believe only 5 months later the cancer would be too much for his little body to take. I’m so glad I picked up the camera that morning instead of worrying about the mess…it’s the little moments that mean the most.

Until next time,
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

If pics don’t show up, you can go to:
http://nevadivup.blogspot.com/

Neva Div Up

2010-04-18T20:46:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to post an update because I’ve had a few emails asking if the shirts from the last post are still available- YES!!! I ordered plenty- so thank you to those who have sent their checks- I’ll be working on mailing them out soon…but we’ll have both shirts and window decals available for some time to come I think! I’ll add the info on ordering to the bottom of the update. THANK YOU for your support!

I wanted to share some kids who are VERY special to us. Kids who never had a choice, but faced cancer head on. The kids you see here have gone through more than most adults will in their life time. They have HAD to be brave too many times...
THESE KIDS are true HEROES.

Thank you Lisa Hulsing, mom to SURVIVOR Regan (cp: braveregan) for putting together this video of our heroes! THEY are why we'll NEVA DIV UP fighting for a CURE.
Thanks Lisa for all you do!

These are just SOME of the children from Iowa...

Join us in walking for a CURE...every dollar gets us closer!

Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

THANK YOU!
Okay, a few things to update on…First the Coleman Memorial Skate-a-thon a few weeks ago. Wow, what an AMAZING time it was! The ElkHorn Eagle 4H kids put on a great day!!! Kids/Adults skated in 2 hr shifts from 8AM-10PM. A BIG BIG THANK YOU to Roy and Evelyn Scott who allowed the use of the skating rink for the day! Area businesses put together groups to come and skate- it was touching to see so many come out to remember Coleman and support our cause. Caden skated from 8am to 9pm! When we finally went for supper he said, “It still feels like I got skates on my feet!” We ALL slept well that night! They raised over $2500 for the Coleman Larson Memorial Fund! WOW- how blessed we are to live in this community!!! People have rallied around our family throughout Coleman’s fight, and continue even since his passing. We’re grateful beyond words! The money will be used to help people who are in the same boat we were…it feels good to be on the giving end, especially when we were given so much kindness we’ll never forget. Here are a few pics from the day…
Caden and Riley…

SOME of the AWESOME 4Hers-

The next thing I’ve wanted to update on is a 14 year old young lady who amazes us time and time again. Whoops she just turned 15- sorry MacKenzie! ;)

We met MacKenzie West and her family through Coleman’s carepage. No, MacKenzie has never had cancer (THANK GOD) but she has made such a difference to so many kids who have. I know I’m going to forget something when I start listing the MANY things MacKenzie’s done, but to name a few….she sent care-packages time and time again to the boys throughout Coleman’s treatments, she handmade each a blanket, she held fundraisers to help with expenses for our family, she spoke to MANY MANY groups to get signatures for the petition to raise awareness for childhood cancer- (by the way, if YOU haven’t signed yet, here’s the link Please click to sign the Childhood Cancer Awareness petition.)
MacKenzie volunteers childcare services during ClubHope meetings where Cancer Families get together to support one another, she speaks out every chance she gets to help raise awareness…she’s just a phenomenal young lady- and we’re SO proud to have her on Team Larson for the upcoming CureSearch Walk. I just HAVE to share the latest thing MacKenzie did that took my breath away- A few weeks ago at a St. Baldrick’s event, MacKenzie SHAVED HER HEAD to raise money for childhood cancer! Seriously, how many 14 year old girls you know would do this voluntarily to help cancer kids? She ended up raising over $2,500 for the kids! She first had her locks cut and donated to Locks of Love, and shaved the rest for St. Baldricks.

MacKenzie, I haven’t sent you a formal thank you yet, but I want you to know how VERY VERY much we appreciate and admire ALL you do! MacKenzie wants to one day be a pediatric oncologist. I have no doubt she’ll do it, and be GREAT at it! YOU are AMAZING MacKenzie! I know your mom and dad, (Anne and Mark) are so proud of you, AND SO ARE WE!!! Thank you to your family for making a difference to so many!

What’s been going on with us lately? Well, when we went back to my mom’s for Easter, my sister Julie and brother-in-law Rick gave Caden a mommy cat with four babies. He is THRILLED. He’s kept them in our garage, where they still sleep at night, but they have been out during the day and follow him EVERYwhere! The mother’s name is Bella, and he has to come up with names for the 4 babies. So far he’s kicked around a few names. At first they were going to be: Dale Jr., Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, and FRED? Then he changed them to Yamaha, Kawasaki, Honda and BMX. :) Since then, he’s for sure named one Squeaker, and one Housekeeper (that one always hangs back in the kennel)…and he’s going to wait and see on the other two. They have been very entertaining for him. He thinks he’s the CAT WHISPERER…haha. THANK YOU JULIE AND RICK! :)

He started soccer practices a couple of weeks ago, and had his first game on Saturday. He scored five goals, but by the time he talked to Grandma on the phone the number was up to 8 or 9…he couldn’t remember! Haha He thought it was very cool he got to be the team captain and call the coin toss- even though he lost the toss. It’s fun to see how much he’s changed since he played last year and had no idea what he was doing…

We went to the March of Dimes Walk Saturday morning before Caden’s soccer game to walk for our little friend Conrad, son of my friend Branwyn. He was born a year and a half ago at 1lb. 5oz., but today is doing great! He’s so adorable and it was a beautiful day to walk.

Thanks to the Swiffer Sweeper commercials Caden’s constantly singing, “who’s that laddddy? Who’s that lady? Sexy lady…” (yikes) and the other day in the van “I’m gonna soak up the sun” came on- he said, “turn it up mom- I love this song” I said, “I love Sheryl Crow too.” He said, “what? No- this is a Sesame Street song”!

The weather here has been GORGEOUS, and we’ve been getting to bed later- so in the mornings it’s so hard to get him up. He says, “I’m tryin to get my eyes open, but they keep shutting and I can’t see!” I know the feeling!
Speaking of bed, I’d better head there myself...I can’t believe tomorrow is Monday already! Thanks for checking in on us, and for the messages and support. I’m adding info on the CureSearch walk at the end of the post for anyone interested. Oh- someone asked if you could be a virtual walker- YES! Just follow our link, and you can be on our team, even if you can’t be AT the walk. Every dollar makes a difference, and gets us that much closer to a CURE! THANK YOU so much for helping us raise money!

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

TShirt Info:
Tshirts are $12.
Fronts of the shirts

Back:

We have children’s sizes S-L and Adult S-3XL. (sorry no infant sizes)
If you’re interested you can send your mailing address, #of shirts and sizes to:

Team Larson
Box 251
Callender, IA 50523
Checks can be made to Team Larson.

If you could add a little extra for shipping, I would REALLY appreciate it, as that comes out of my own pocket. I’m not sure how much it will be to ship, but any extra would be appreciated! THANKS!

The shirts were designed by Caden, so he’s very excited about that.
We’re also selling Coleman window stickers for vehicles. They are $6 a piece.
Proceeds will go to our walk for CureSearch.

Window Stickers: (you rub them on and transfer- carwash safe!) They measure about 12”x3 ½”

Here’s our link for our CURESEARCH WALK coming up-
Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .
thank you to all who have signed up to be on Team Larson. It costs $10 to sign up to be a walker…or you can sign up to be on our team as a virtual walker too. THANKS AGAIN!
CURESEARCH WALK MAY 1st at Blank Park Zoo…
Registration will be at 8am in the green space adjacent the zoo parking lot to the northwest.

The walk ceremony will start at 9am.

After the walk, there will be a closing ceremony at approximately 10:15-10:30. This is when our totals will be announced!

From 10:30 to 12:00, Hy-Vee will serve a lunch for $4.50. There will be a choice of hamburger, hotdog, or chicken sandwich, served with a bag of chips, cookie and lemonade. $1 of each purchase will be donated back to CureSearch!

There will be tickets available to go back into the zoo for $4 for the rest of the day.

There are hotel discounts available at:
o Radisson Hotel - To make reservations please call the hotel at 515-285-7777. When making your reservation reference CureSearch Walk to receive the group rate of $89 plus tax. (I will put the reservation guide on the website) (also has free breakfast and internet)

o Quality Inn & Suites
201 SE Delaware
Ankeny, IA
515-964-8202
Reserved under Curesearch Walk
Rates- $71/night including breakfast/free internet

TShirts/Window Stickers

2010-04-11T14:51:00.001-07:00

There truly is so much I need to update on…things have been SUPER busy around here- Caden started soccer practices…he’s very happy he’s on the YELLOW team this year. Last year was green, this year yellow, so he’s staying in the John Deere color scheme. :)

Scott’s been working longer hours & weekends with the farmers being in the fields. The weather has been pretty windy here in the country, but beautiful sunshine and warmer temps- so we’ll definitely take that! It seems so good to finally put away the snow gear! Coleman’s and Caden’s tulips are even beginning to break through, so we’re looking forward to that.

I’ve been busy with work getting things ready for our First Grade Ocean Café coming up…lots of things to get finished before then, but the kids are SUPER excited!

I still want to update on the Coleman Skate-a-thon, and catch up on Caden’s latest happenings- he makes me laugh out loud at least a few times a day! He’s growing like a weed! He asked me one night, “mom? When we get to Heaven, is that like getting to the final level?” I think he’s been playing too many video games! Haha I told him, “yes- when we get to Heaven, we WIN, thanks to what Jesus did for us.”

One night I was out jumping on the trampoline with him…I am getting way too old I think! But we were laying there taking a break and looking up at the sky, and he asked me who was going to die first, me or him. I explained that no one knows when they’re going to die. He answered, “well, I hope it’s ME, cuz I really miss Coleman, and I wanna see him again!” At first it bothered me that he would say something like that. I didn’t even want to think about it, but then I thought maybe that’s the way God wants us to be, longing to be with Him. I told Caden, “well, God still has a LOT for you to do here first...”

I hate it when I get caught ‘off guard’ and I don’t know what to say to him. We keep taking one day at a time, and thanking God for our MANY blessings. There are days it is so hard to stay “up” but focusing on the GOOD helps…plus I KNOW that is what Cman would want us to do.

I wanted to get the info on here for our walk coming up May 1st. Here are the tshirts we’re selling…they are $12 a piece.

Fronts of the shirts

Back:

We have children’s sizes S-L and Adult S-3XL. (sorry no infant sizes)
If you’re interested you can send your mailing address, #of shirts and sizes to:

Team Larson
Box 251
Callender, IA 50523

If you could add a little extra for shipping, I would REALLY appreciate that, as that comes out of my own pocket. I’m not sure how much it will be to ship, but any extra would be appreciated! THANKS!

The shirts were designed by Caden, so he’s very excited about that.
We’re also selling Coleman window stickers for vehicles. They are $6 a piece.
Proceeds will go to our walk for CureSearch.

Window Stickers: (you rub them on and transfer- carwash safe!) They measure about 12”x3 ½”

Okay, I have to get back outside while it’s still light out- I have a lot to cross off my list before it gets dark. Again, here’s the link for our walk…we’re nowhere close to raising as much as we did last year, but every little bit helps.

Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

THANK YOU SO MUCH for checking in on us. Your support means more to us than words can say! Thank you for leaving us messages to let us know you care.

Our prayers have been with Army’s family this week as it’s been one year since he went to heaven. Here’s a pic of Caden and Army at last year’s curesearch walk, and our video to Army’s song…I think of him every time I hear it. There are just too many families missing their little ones. *sigh*

WE NEED A CURE!!!

Until next time,
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
Teamlarson1@gmail.com

Easter Cookies...

2010-03-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

Caden's faces...

Hi Everyone,
I have a long update to do on what's been going on around here, but it will have to wait for a while longer...this is a busy week with one night of conferences down tonight, and another one Thursday night. My sleep patterns continue to be out of whack- and I dreamt the other night Spiderman and WonderWoman were trying to break into our house and I was running around locking all the windows and doors but couldn't get a scream out...ever have one of those dreams where you can't scream??? I must have finally got one out because I woke myself up and couldn't get back to sleep. Geez- wonder what a dream analyst would say about that one?!?!? Maybe I've finally lost it! No comments Scott!!! haha

I want to update on the Coleman Larson Skate-a-thon the 4H group put on last Saturday- Caden was on skates from 8am- 9pm with only a couple hour break when he went to a friend's house... (THANKS ZACK!)
It was truly an AMAZING day I'll update on soon.

For now, I wanted to get this cookie recipe on here that someone had requested- sorry it took me a while to find it-
and add a couple of pics from Caden on Palm Sunday.
More coming soon,
Blessings to you all-
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

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Easter Story…COOKIES.

***First, preheat the oven to 300 degrees.***

Ingredients:
1 c. whole pecans
1 tsp vinegar
3 egg whites
1 pinch of salt
1 c. of sugar

You will need:
Mixing bowl
Wooden spoon
Bible
Ziplock baggie
Wax paper
Cookie sheet
Tape
Mixer

Place pecans in the baggie and let the children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. (Read John 19: 1-3)

Let the children smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. into a mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. (Read John 19: 28-30)

Add the egg whites to the vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave his life for us. (Read John 10: 10-11)

Sprinkle a little salt into the children’s hand and let them taste it, then brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that it represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers and the bitterness of our own sin. (Read Luke 23:27)

So far the ingredients aren’t very appetizing. Add 1 cup of sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of this story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. (Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16)

Beat with mixer on high speed for 11-15 minutes until stiff peaks form. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. (Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3)

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoon onto wax paper-covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. (Read Matthew 27: 65-66)

Put cookie sheet in oven. Close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give the child a piece of tape and seal the door. Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. (Read Matthew 27:65-66)

Explain they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. (Read John 16:20 and 22)

Go to bed!

On Resurrection morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie!

Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Resurrection Day, Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. (Read Matthew 28: 1-9)

He has risen! Hallelujah!
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A quick story about Palm Sunday...
Caden asked if he could go get a drink during service...he came back with his cheeks PUFFED out- and got up to my face. I thought he was bluffing, and he only had AIR in them, so I squeezed his cheeks together- ,( kind of hard) WATER SHOT out allllll over me and the pew!!!! The people sitting behind us got a good laugh out of that one- The lady sitting behind me said, "You should have seen his eyes!!!"
Yep- lesson learned! I bet Coleman would have had a thing or two, or THREE to say about THAT! :)
Have a great rest of the week everyone!

New Post...Green Day St. Patrick's 2010

2010-03-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

I said in the last update I’d do a St. Patrick’s Day post- so here goes…

Someone who is newer to Coleman’s carepage may not know that St. Patrick’s Day was always a favorite of Coleman’s and Caden’s….Coleman considered it his “lucky day”- for many reasons. His favorite color was GREEN, so he pretty much felt the day was ALLLLL about him when he’d see everyone wearing HIS favorite color! It held some significance in his journey- with his stem cell transplant being done ON St. Patrick’s day after having to be delayed…(we considered it a lucky twist in fate.)

Also one of the boys-(isn’t it terrible I can’t remember which one now-but I think it was Coleman) had his hernia surgery done ON St. Patrick’s day by Dr. Irish. What a coincidence. (Oh-by the way- they both had hernia surgeries by Dr. Irish- I just can’t remember which one had it ON St. Patrick’s day!)

Anyway- Caden and Coleman loved to set traps for the leprechauns and try to trick them to find their pot of gold. They’d have so much fun with the whole thing. I’d spread gold glitter all around their traps- and be ducking under and tripping over their booby traps the entire night before!
Caden kept the tradition going yesterday when he set his own leprechaun trap…but he had to be quick about it, as he and I didn’t get home until past his bedtime that night, so he threw this together before getting into his jammies.

He only got his finger caught in the mousetrap ONCE while getting it all set up! :)

He was up by 6:00 the next morning and was SO excited to find a note from the leprechaun, along with some special treats-

He carried around the green piece of fabric that was stuck in the mousetrap, but was convinced it was from the leprechaun's PANTS and not his jacket! He kept saying he needed to save the "evidence" to show grandma!
(Thank goodness for our stash of treats I’ve picked up here and there, as I really didn’t have time to go get him anything!) I TRULY don’t know WHAT the leprechaun was thinking when he left this little horn…You would have thought when he looked at the package and it said, “INCREDIBLY LOUD” and “FOR OUTDOOR USE ONLY” that would have been a big clue to leave it in the leprechaun store.
See that little hole you blow into? Yeah- the MEGA BLAST- is MEGA LOUUUUD!!!

It must have been a weak moment…but he KNEW Caden would love the thing! :) OH and also a whoopee cushion…what is it that boys love about those?!? It’s just so great to hear him giggle, after he’s been feeling a little blue lately. He really did have a fun day!
Here are some pics from Caden’s special day of Green…
Drinking his green leprechaun milk-

He asked me if we could send something to Coleman in Heaven, so while he was in school I got him some balloons to release when he got home…He decided to keep one for his bedroom, and let the others go. Then he blew his horn VERY loudly so Cman could hear it. Check out how much snow has melted- the past couple of days have been in the 50’s and gorgeous! Now they’re talking snow again this weekend! UGG- at least we know it won’t stick around too long?!?

Oh- I also wanted to share this little ditty I made for Cade….he’s only watched it about a hundred times now! He loves it! I showed it to Scott, and he didn’t even realize it was Caden until the close up- and then he cracked up. You’ll have to follow the link, I can’t seem to embed it…but it’s worth clicking on! :)

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/iOxfy7PZZ6LHkxsD

He has watched it over and over and keeps clicking replay, so the music is stuck in my head and driving me CRRRRRAZY! :)

Here are some pics of Cman looking through the clover patch one year for a four leaf clover- then I remember he picked a bunch and pretended to EAT them just to laugh at me freaking out!

And a video from March 2008…

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Here is a song I wanted to share by David M Bailey called “Her Favorite Color was Green.” I changed the word HER to HIS because it reminded me so much of Coleman…

HIS FAVORITE COLOR WAS GREEN

His favorite color was green,
And that’s about all that I know.
Except that he knew the Lord loved him…
His Bible told him so.

He swam in an ocean of laughter.
He danced in a desert of grace.
The way that he loved those around him,
was written all over his face.

I was there, the evening that he left us.
I heard every tear that was shed.
I wanted to ask God the reason,
But I asked him “what now” instead.

“What now God would you have us say?”
“What now God would you have us do?”
“Wasn’t it clear he was faithful?”
“Wasn’t that enough for you?””

And God said…
“How could you ask such a question”
“Surely the answer is clear.”
“Do I have to paint you a picture?”
“Is it not enough that I’m here?”

I said, “God, that’s not what I meant…
He was just too young to die.”
God said,
“I know what you mean…
Remember… I watched my son cry.”

I said “Yes, but at least your boy is with you now.”
He said “Right, and now so is he.”
“I set him a place at my table… and you should see that boy eat.”

“Oh in fact, I wish you could see him smiling.”
“Then you’d know… he feels right at home.”
“He’s been telling the angels about you.”
“So you won’t feel alone.”

His favorite color was green.
That’s my favorite too.
He’s already sliding down rainbows…
Right between yellow and blue.
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In the next post, we’ll take some pics of our new CureSearchwalk tshirts Caden FINALLY finished designing. He only changed his mind about 423 times he said. haha
I tried to sway his mind, but he kept reminding me I PROMISED HE could be in charge of them, so they’re HIS little project. He decided he wanted the number ONE on them instead of 22. (Go figure- it’s his dirt bike number)…So the back of the shirts NOW say, “Neva Div Up! 1 child at a time”
We’ll put a pic with ordering info in the next post…

Until then, here’s our walk link again…THANK YOU so much for the donations and support!
Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

AND if you had some trouble voting for the VanWey video I posted about last time…go to www.familydanceoff.com Register and then vote for the VanWeys- (I think their video is on pg 15 or 16) The video is called FTK (for the kids) VanWey Family Video. This would really help the IOWA CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL IN IOWA CITY….THANKS FOR YOUR VOTE & YOUR HELP!!!!

Okay, That’s it for now…
Caden is probably going to be sharing some BIG news about his FIRST TOOTH coming out very, very soon! (his bottom front two are getting loose!) Yikes- he’s getting bigger! Not sure if I’m really, really sad he’s growing so fast, OR really, really happy that he has the chance to… Just thanking God for ALL of my blessings…included all of you.

THANK YOU for taking the time to leave us a message. Someone asked me if we even read them- YES, of course we do- each and every one! You have NO IDEA how much they lift us on the tough days. It really does mean a lot to us that so many of you still take the time to let us know you continue checking in with us. I wish I had the time to look up everyone’s email who leaves a message- unfortunately it’s impossible to sift through the names to find the email that goes with it. If you’d like a reply, send an email…either way, we thank you!

BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

2010-03-18T19:56:00.001-07:00

Where to begin? It’s been a while since I’ve updated…so I have a feeling this will be a more than one part post. Just warning you…we’ll see! We’ve been keeping busy as usual, and some days, “moments” are better than others. I could blame it on the weather (it’s been really gray and muddy lately) but I think the “funk” we find ourselves in would come and go no matter what the weather. Some warm sunshine sure would be nice though! It’s a good thing God is helping us along no matter what the weather outside…
Here are some pics of the snow- it has melted a LOT since I took these- YAY!

We did get another day of sledding in before the warm up…and Caden and I are no longer playing “Ice Road Truckers” on the way to school each morning! I was getting a little tired of that game anyway! :)
Now we’re just trying to make our way through the mud, and keep sucking water out of the basement until it’s dried up and GREEN again!
Let’s see…Caden has been a social butterfly lately. He had four birthday parties to go to in two weekends, a music carnival last Saturday night and he was in a talent show at school! I wasn’t able to go to his talent show, as it was the same time as the Manners Tea Party in my classroom, but Scott went and said he was a hoot. Imagine that!  He sang the song “Big Green Tractor” with a little girl in his class- one of his THREE girlfriends now- and I asked him if he remembered all of the words. He said, “well, I pretty much just stuck two fingers in my pocket and stared into her eyes and hummed.”
Scott asked him, “wow, you have 3 girlfriends? How DO you handle it?” He answered, “watch and learn my fuzzy friend!” He cracks us up.
Here are a few pics of Eli’s birthday party in DesMoines… (cp: elirhorn) Caden had a blast. Eli and the Horns are very special to our family. We love you guys!

Caden’s been having some difficulty at school the past couple of weeks…his teacher says he has a lot of “aches and pains” that move from his tummy, to his toe, to his hip, his leg, his head, finger, etc. and he also “lost his voice” for an hour or so before it miraculously returned after he got a drink of water. He loves the school nurse, so not sure if he’s trying to make a trip to the office just to see her or what it is. He’s been having ‘emotional /teary’ moments and keeps complaining of ‘aches’…but they move…one second it will be a headache and then a tummy ache and then he can’t remember where. We’ve tried to talk to him about what’s going on, but his stories change all the time- he ends up in tears and doesn’t want to talk about it…but wants us to know that sometimes it’s hard to breathe too.
His teacher says once he gets involved in an activity he seems to forget all about his physical aches. I’m wondering if I need to get him back into counseling…we’ll talk again to his teacher tomorrow at his conference, so maybe we’ll learn more after that. Physically there doesn’t seem to be a thing wrong with him, but we may take him to the doctor just to ease HIS mind that he’s not sick.

A couple of weeks ago we went out for supper and he was over playing the video games when a couple of girls we didn’t know came up and asked him if he missed Coleman. He said he didn’t answer and they just kept asking until one said, “be quiet or you’ll make him sad!” I asked him, “DID it make you sad?” and he said, “no, my eyes just got a little burny, but they get burny lotsa times…. not cuz I’m sad.” I asked him if kids ask him a lot about Coleman and he said, “WHAT DO YOU THINK???” I asked, “well what do you say?” He told me he tells them he’s HAPPY Coleman died. That really shocked me! I asked him why in the world he would say that- and he said, “well, cuz then he don’t have to go through all-a the stuff what he kept havin to do. Now he don’t have no more pain… so I’m happy he died.”
*sigh*
I explained that I too was glad Coleman didn’t have any more pain, but that I still miss him, and wish he didn’t die. Caden answered, “yeah, me too. I wish he never got cancer.”
I sometimes forget all Caden has witnessed in his short lifetime. It was one thing for Coleman to have to go through it all, and it was so hard for US as adults to witness, and not be able to change the situation, but Caden was right there for almost everything, and I worry about the lasting effects on him sometimes. At the time I felt it was important for us to all be together as a family- as a TEAM- but did we make the right decision to let him be a part of every step until the very end? Should we have shielded him from some of the procedures or hospital time? I don’t know the answer. All I know is I pray for God to help Caden along through his journey without his twin. He and Coleman were connected in a way I’ve never witnessed…so I guess we should probably expect that he’ll have some rough days too. He’s seemed to handle everything so well, but little by little I think as time goes on, there will be much for him to process as he tries to figure things out. Heck why should HE be any different than the rest of us? I have my good and bad days too, and find it hard to put into words…I can imagine it’s hard for him to explain at six.
One night he was watching the History channel with Scott and started asking about presidents…how did all of the presidents die? Did they all get shot? Did some of them die of cancer? Why do people get cancer? Why didn’t we just have the doctors take Coleman’s out again? Why couldn’t the doctors give him medicine to make it better? Etc. etc. Scott did a great job of answering his questions.
He asked me one day, “Mommy? When people die, do they all breathe like Coleman did?” and then sat there gasping loudly. Scott asked him if he thinks about Coleman a lot, and he said, “Oh yeah, BIG TIME…More than you will EVER know.”
His questions are difficult- but we do our best to answer them honestly, and reassure him that he is loved, and we are here for him. I’m praying his “aches” he’s been having at school will subside and he can enjoy his time with his friends and learning.
He’s all signed up for soccer, so that will start again soon…and of course T-ball to follow. I’m really looking forward to being home with him this summer- even though we have a lot of school days to make up- summer WILL come eventually, and he’s already planning a “camouflage party” where he wants to invite “9 or 5” friends over to dress up in camo and have a squirt gun fight & go on a treasure hunt.
Speaking of school, I’m on spring break this week, but Caden has school all week. My school has been going a half hour longer each day until April 22nd to make up three days of school. My class hasn’t really even noticed the extra half hour and it’s been nice to fit in some lessons we missed out on with all of the snow days. Caden still gets out about a week earlier than I do for summer vacation. With the economy being tough all over, his elementary school is in danger of closing…which we’re praying doesn’t happen. Their school wants to go from three buildings to two. Scott has been attending school board meetings and trying to help keep the elementary open, but time will tell. It’s where Scott went to school, and only a mile from our house. Caden also attends daycare there and only has to walk across the hall to Kindergarten. If it closes, and he has to be bused to another town, that will mean we’ll have to find different daycare too, as it would be way out of the way for me to drop him off each morning and pick him up. All of the talk and wonder has been stressing Caden out too I think. He loves his school AND his daycare! Personally, I would love to open enroll him and take him to school with me, but it would mean leaving his friends, and Scott really wants him to stay in this school system, so we’ll have to see how it all turns out. Again, we’re confident God will put Caden right where He wants him to be.
A couple of funnies before I mention all of the business I want to-
One morning when I was drying my hair, I turned my head and was hit SMACK in the nose with a nerf football. There stood Caden with an “UT OH!” look on his face saying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I was aiming for the wall!!!” ugg. I told him to sit on the stool and think about what he just did while I finished drying my hair, (and the tears the blow brought to my eyes!) When I turned the hair dryer off, I asked him to give me his WORD he would never do that again…he said, “well….. I don’t know what the word is, but yeah, you can have it.”
One night he asked for a drink of juice. As I was pouring it he was looking in the fridge and asked, “are you ever gonna drink that crayola stuff or what?” I was confused and wondered what in the heck he was talking about until he said, “you know…that brown bottle of beer what you got at Christmas?” Then I realized he meant KAHLUA!
Back to the manners tea party I mentioned we had in my classroom. It was so much fun- the kids had been studying Amazing Americans and good character. We read many biographies of people in history, and the kids wrote their own autobiography on their life- talking about how THEY are Amazing Americans too. For the end of the unit, they’d earned punches on an invitation ticket for a Manners Tea Party. They dressed in their best- some boys wore ties, (one little guy told me he HAD a suit he wore to his grandma’s funeral, but his mom took it back haha) and girls dressed in their fanciest dresses (gotta love my little cancer survivor who said there was NO WAY I was going to get her to wear a dress to school, but donned her HARD ROCK café jean jacket with pride! She makes me smile!) We ate finger sandwiches, mini muffins, cookies, and fruit, and drank juice they got to pour into their tea cups from fancy tea pots. We danced the waltz and the tango- one little boy is convinced he and I would win Dancing with the Stars if we entered. It was a fun day to end our unit. THIS is a book that was donated to my school library with a sticker inside the cover in memory of Coleman- (Thank you to the Ghetting family!) I read to my class. It talks about how everyone has an invisible bucket they carry around to keep their good feelings about themselves in. We talked about how you can fill someone’s bucket. It also talked about how some people try to dip out of someone else’s bucket to make themselves feel better- we discussed how none of us want to be a bucket-dipper! One little girl wrote… “A friend is someone who fills my bucket with love.” Have I mentioned I LOVE my job? Most days anyway! :) So if you have kids or grandkids- this would be a great book I’d recommend to anyone! I ordered a copy for Caden.

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Well, now down to business…
I know I’m always asking our carepage people for help, and you’ve all been so wonderful and supportive throughout our family’s journey. We want you to know how much it has meant AND continues to mean to us. I have a couple of requests to throw out there once again, and THANK YOU in advance for all of our angels here on Earth!
The first is a request for an on-line vote…
Little Mikayla VanWey’s family has made a dance video and is trying to win a dance contest that will benefit the Iowa City Children’s Hospital where Coleman was treated. Sorry Spoonies, I voted for you too, but have to pull for our home-state hospital on this one! :) Here’s how YOU can help. Go to
www.familydanceoff.com
and vote for the VanWeys video. Simple as that. Doesn’t cost a dime, but every vote counts and could make a big difference to a hospital we called “home” for so long. I think you can vote every day through Friday.
Here’s a little video Coleman made for Mikayla while we were in New York. I’m not sure if I ever sent it- as it was hard to understand him…he was trying to tell Mikayla not to “twy” (cry) because she looked pretty no matter how much hair she had. Then he went into “a snake wif a belly ache”…not sure what that was all about- something only he and Caden understood I think! Anyway- a vote for the VanWey’s video would really mean a lot to us. THANKS for taking the time!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Also wanted to mention the SKATE-A-THON in memory of Coleman on March 27th in Gowrie…put on by the Elkhorn Eagle 4Hers. Kids will be skating in time slots, and we’re planning to use the proceeds toward a Coleman Scott Larson scholarship for the school, and part toward the CureSearch walk coming up…Speaking of the walk…Here is the info again…
Visit our page at:
Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

I think we’re way behind in raising money compared to where we were last year…but we’re doing our best. You do not need to be present to join or donate to our team, but we’d love to have you join us if possible. Again, Caden is working on designing the shirts- and has come up with LOTS of ideas… for SOME reason is determined to include the number 22 on the shirt somewhere??? Not sure his reasoning on that, but I told him that was okay- HE was in charge of the shirts. He’s excited about it! He’s also asked if we could have a garage sale, and he would be willing to sell his toys to make money for the kids with cancer. I love his giving heart.
Speaking of hearts- my friends and I got the chance to go to a screening of the movie Letters to God last night. The movie is inspired by Tyler Doughtie…a little boy who had medulloblastoma like Coleman. There were so many times during the movie that it reminded me so much of Coleman. From the first scene with the back of the little boy’s head- with the scar running down his bald head and neck- I was reminded of how many times my lips kissed Coleman’s scar and prayed it would one day be covered by a full head of hair…but most of all the movie reminded me of Coleman’s faith in “Dod”. Coleman talked to God so many times that brought tears to my eyes- praying for a crying baby in the room next to ours in the hospital, thanking God for people being so nice to him, and repeating time and time again throughout his journey how he KNEW Jesus was going to help him.
We should ALL have the faith of a child.
Matthew 18: 2-4 “He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
I was also reminded that when you pray- God doesn’t require you to use big words- or find the need for you to be scripted…Coleman talked to “Dod” like he was talking to a friend. He kept it simple and conversational.
One of the lines in the movie was “Everything I touch turns to dust. I can’t hold on to anything.” Oh how I have felt like that so many times! But it went on to talk about clasping your hands together and entwining your fingers in prayer- then nothing can slip through.
There have been times I have been on my knees- desperately asking for things to be different. There have been so many times I have felt NOTHING was in my control, and I was right. GOD is the only way I have been able to get up off the floor. He has listened to every cry I’ve whimpered to Him. He hasn’t always answered me in the way I wanted…BUT He has never left me, and He’s shown me that there is so much I have to be grateful for. PLEASE go see this movie if you can. It comes out in theaters April 9th…the message is one that everyone needs to hear. Some people have told me they don’t want to see it- it would be too sad, but the message is one of HOPE and FAITH. Yes, you may cry a tear or two, but I promise it will touch your heart. THANK you to BigFinishFilms for bringing the screening to DesMoines so we could watch it with people who mean so much to us…and God bless the Doughtie Family for sharing Tyler’s faith. Also check out: www.letterstogodthemovie.com
Here’s a preview of the movie…

And a few of the funny faces of the Cman- oh how I miss that scrunched up face he’d do! We’re so blessed God chose US to be his family.

Until next time, thank you so much for checking in on us- for your support and your continued prayers- Thank you for filling our buckets and may yours be filled in return!
One day there WILL be a cure…NEVA DIV UP.
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

ANOTHER SNOW DAY!

2010-02-15T13:48:00.001-08:00

Well, here’s a little message from Caden …

We went on a family Valentine Date Saturday night. On the way I said, “How lucky am I to get to spend Valentine’s Day with my two favorite guys in the world?” Caden piped up from the back of the van, “you mean THREE mom,” And was pointing UP when I turned around. “You’re right Cade- I meant three.” Coleman is with us always…oh what I would have given to have had all four of us like it used to be.

We went to Caden’s pick of restaurant. The kid picks a place based on what games they have for him to play while we wait! I always make him sit on Scott’s side of the booth because he canNOT sit still while he eats, and the constant bumping drives me nuts (don’t get me wrong, I LOVE him just the way he is, I just love to watch him bounce from the OTHER side of the booth! Haha) The restaurant was packed, but good food, so I’m not complaining. THEN it was off to Target. On the way THIS song came on, and Caden got teary eyed…when I asked him what was wrong, again, he pointed UP. I knew he was thinking of this video- he and Coleman loved this song-

It breaks my heart when there is nothing I can do to help him, but reassure him he is loved, and that Coleman is watching over him and will always be with him. We try so hard to go on, there are just times for all of us, the hole is so huge. The hardest part for me is wanting to “fix it” but knowing I can’t. We just rely on God to bring us peace when we’re in that moment of missing Coleman so much it makes our hearts physically ache.

Cade perked up a little once we got to Target and we told him he could pick out a Valentine present. He hadn’t been shopping since before Christmas, so he was anxious to use one of his gift cards and finally picked out a new Wii game- oh and a Valentine stuffed kitten he wanted to take to his ‘special friend’ Riley at church. He said, “I saw her in the hall at school and I told her I was gonna get her a Valentine, but she said, “no time- gotta run!” haha He was very excited to give the kitten to Riley- she’s still his ‘special friend’. He was so tired when we got up to go to church- and said it was ALL our fault for keeping him up so late the night before. (we were home by 9:00) “You guys made me stay out too late! We didn’t get home til about a hundred five o’clock!” (guess we’ll work on telling time soon!) He was very grouchy yesterday morning and didn’t want to wear what I laid out for him. He said, “I don’t wanna wear this RED sweater! Red don’t go with brown shoes mom!” He has never ONCE cared what he was wearing- so I told him to wear his black church shoes instead. After arguing back and forth I finally figured out he wanted to wear his tan work boots instead! Lol so he did…I guess those went just FINE with red!

Today he and I are home with- you guessed it, ANOTHER no school day because of the blowing snow- wow has this winter been brutal. Here's Mr. Fashion-all decked out in his “gear” for the day…

I’ve lost track, but I think we have at least 11 days to make up. It could be 12 who knows by now?!? I’m not sure how they’re going to do it yet- but there’s a pretty good chance our summer vacation will be cut short this year. We’re seriously running out of places to pile the snow- and wow is it going to be a mess when it starts to melt. These were taken yesterday...

Oh well, Caden and I have enjoyed our days off together. The last two we had he wanted to make banana bread. He’d start to help, then take off for the toy room again. When I’d call him back out he said, “why do ya need me out here mom? You only need me for one important part- to lick the bowl!” We tried a new recipe (THANKS NANCY H for passing it along!) It was delicious!!! I’ll add the recipe at the end of the update if anyone wants to give it a try… (yeah, that back loaf didn’t come out of the pan so good! So we get zero points on presentation, Haha- still, it was YUMMY!)

Remember last post when I was talking about the “bubble wrap” comment from Caden? Well, here’s his latest…I was getting out of the shower one day and had a towel wrapped around my wet head. He saw me and so innocently said, “you kinda look like an eagle mom.” I said, “oh, you mean because I look bald?” He said, “No……your face.” And he walked away. I stood there looking in the mirror picturing this:

and wondering, “do I need a brow lift???” lol Having kids does wonders for your self- image! :)

He told me one day, “mom? You’re cooler than the ‘flit side of my pillow’- THAT’S RIGHT!” lol I explained to him it was “flip side” of the pillow. I’m working on a new video for him to the Uncle Kracker song “Smile”…every time the song comes on in the van, he and I crank it and jam! A few people have mentioned how it’s hard to watch our videos without Coleman in them…it’s hard for me to MAKE them without him in them too, but I do it for Cade.

OH- I need to mention- the Dance Marathon in Iowa City a couple of weekends ago raised…$1,058,068.16!!!!
FTK- FOR THE KIDS! How awesome is that?!? All raised by AMAZING college students. Wow!!! They continue to make such a HUGE difference in the lives of so many kids fighting and families like ours. THANK YOU!!!!!

In our little neck of the woods here, a local 4H group Elkhorn Eagles (kids from ages 10- 15 yrs old) have come up with an idea to raise money for Coleman’s Neva Div Up Foundation. They’re putting on a 24 hr SKATE marathon @the end of March…we were approached with the idea and so touched that they would do this to help raise money. Their goal is to raise $2500. A BIG BIG thanks to our community for continuing to join us in the fight against Childhood Cancer! We’re so blessed to live here- (even with all the snow!) The people who have always been behind us continue to touch our hearts.

Speaking of support in the fight we have more people joining our team for the CureSearch walk coming up May 1st. I promised some people I’d post the info again if you’re interested in donating to our team. You don’t have to be present to join our team roster, but we’d love to see you if you can make it! Click here to get started:

Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

THANK YOU for the donations- it means so much to us!!!
Well, Caden has been playing his Winter Olympics on the Wii, but wants to play outSIDE in the snow again- so better go get us bundled up…might as well enjoy it while it’s here. There may ACTUALLY be a day when it melts away??? THINK GREEN!

Until next time,
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

Thanks for the edit Shelley H! :)

SNOW DAY BANANA BREAD
Original Recipe Yield 4 - 7x3 inch loaves

Ingredients
1/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4 cup butter
3 cups white sugar
3 eggs
6 very ripe bananas, mashed
1 (16 ounce) container sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons baking soda
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Directions
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease four 7x3 inch loaf pans. In a small bowl, stir together 1/4 cup white sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Dust pans lightly with cinnamon and sugar mixture.
In a large bowl, cream butter and 3 cups sugar. Mix in eggs, mashed bananas, sour cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Mix in salt, baking soda and flour. Stir in nuts. Divide into prepared pans.
Bake for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
NOTES:
Make two 7 1/2 x 9 loaves do 325 degrees for 1 hr 10 min. cook 4 loaves at 325 1 hour.
Making a crumbly topping is a MUST. for two loaves: ~ 1/2 cup packed brown sugar ~ 1/2 cup all-purpose flour ~ 2 or 3 tablespoons butter or margarine ~ 1 teaspoon cinnamon ~ 1/3 cup chopped walnuts or pecans. Microwave butter till soft. Mixed ingredients with a fork until crumbly, spoon over loaves before putting it in the oven.
Hand-mixing in the flour creates a denser, more bread-like consistency.

Life at the Larsons

2010-01-30T15:33:00.001-08:00

Before I start, I have to say: THANKS FOR THE SWEATSHIRT EDDY FAMILY- CADEN LOVES IT!!!

Well, I know, It’s been a while since an update on here…
It’s not that I haven’t had a lot to say- I always have things to say… I guess it’s just getting myself to sit down and type it all out. January’s been a LONG month- we’ve had our hard days emotionally, but do our best to stay positive…this month has been full of lots and lots of SNOW! Scott’s been scooping and moving snow, but we’re running out of places to put it!
Here are a few pics-

I am up to 8 snow days and counting that need to be made up at one point or another…my school just sent out a survey of what we’d like to do to make up the days- including SATURDAY SCHOOL- ummm not sure I’ll be voting for that one, but time will tell how many more days we miss, and how everyone votes. We still have February and March to get through- so who knows if we’ll have days added to that. It could make for a short summer vacation. Oh well…

Caden and I have really enjoyed our snow days together- We played games, did a LITTLE bit of cleaning-we got the Christmas tree down and put away at least- he built forts with lots and lots of “boobie traps”, we did a little baking, and He’s done a lot of talking about Coleman…I found him one of the days sitting on his bed and looking through scrap books. He asked if I wanted to come in and look with him. It amazes me the details he remembers and things he has no recollection of. He really misses his other half. We have so many wonderful memories of Coleman-One thing’s for sure- Cman will always be a part of our hearts- forever. Oh do we miss him. Words just cannot explain. There are some days where the numbness your brain puts you in to protect yourself starts to fade, and the pain rises again…it can be a song, a commercial, a smell, a picture, a food, a book, or it doesn’t have to be anything- its just because- that brings the hurt back full force. We know Coleman is safe in Heaven…we just miss him.

Here’s an old video of one of his favorite songs- God, I mean “Dod” must be a cowboy (tow-boe-wee) at heart…Our pastor came to Iowa City to visit and sang this to the boys before Coleman’s stem cell transplant. Coleman loved this song from that point on…oh how I miss his singing. It does make me smile when I watch this though…what a gift he was.

We’re disappointed we won’t be able to make it to this year’s Dance Marathon in Iowa City. We have something else that weekend that we can’t miss…but we’ll be there in spirit! THANK YOU so much to these college students and all they do to help families like ours. They recently sent us a stone in memory of Coleman…THANK YOU to all who participate in this wonderful event~ Coleman loved ALL of the “Dance May-wah-fonn” people! We wish we could be there with you all this year.

Speaking of events- we have our 2nd annual Curesearch walk coming up May 1st. Last year Team Larson ended up raising over $20,000 when all was said and done, thanks to so many wonderful donators! AMAZING!!! I’m not sure we’ll be able to come anywhere close to that this year, but every single dollar gets us that much closer to a CURE- we’ve come to know too many kids who have been diagnosed, continue to fight, or went to Heaven way too early because of cancer…soooo, if you want to be a part of our team- (you don’t have to be there to actually be on our team roster) or if you’d be willing to make a donation, we’d sure appreciate ANY amount…here’s the link we hope you’ll check out…

Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE .

I’ll be posting more info as the walk gets closer. Caden is in charge of designing our team shirts this year. I thought maybe he’d like the responsibility of that- so we’ll see what he comes up with! 
We can’t THANK YOU enough for helping us out!!!

A couple of funny stories about Caden- (there are sooo many to choose from!)
One day when we got out of school early because of the heavy snow, I went to pick him up at daycare…They were outside playing on the snow mountain and taking turns sledding down a hill. He was having a blast! I went inside and got his bookbag and he followed me to the van. As he was getting ready to climb in his door, he YELLED out to his friends, “BYE YA PuSSSS-AYS!” I stood there for a minute- and thought I HAD to have heard him wrong, until he yelled it again- “I SAID- BYE YA PUUH-SAYS!” I said, “CADEN! GET IN THE VAN! GET IN THE VAN!!!” He said, “why?” I shut the door and told him, “you can NOT say that to people! It’s a NAUGHTY word!” He had no idea….yikes. Luckily, I don’t think anyone heard him. *whew*

Another funny- well not for me…but what the heck- I’ll share it…. I fell on the icy steps one morning on my way to work and got a HUGE bruise on my backside to show for it. It was a nasty one…
Caden was looking at it, and so innocently said, “mom? Sometimes your butt looks like it gots bubble wrap on it.” WHAT?!?! ARRRGGG!!! I started laughing- Guess I’d better find a good work out tape with some exercises for my back side! Hahahaha Kids are so honest!

He’s a character- that’s for sure…and I thank God for him every day! He wants a Mohawk so badly, but I keep telling him no…I did let him have one for about an hour one night before I gave him a haircut- but you should have seen his attitude while he looked in the mirror- he really thought he was one tough dude. After the pics- I buzzed it off! I know, I know, mean mommy.

He’s growing like a weed, and has changed so much since he started school. One thing that hasn’t changed is how big his heart is. He was very animate about helping the people of Haiti, and kept wanting to donate money out of his piggy bank every time a commercial came on about it.
The night after Christmas I found this under the tree, still in the box…

I asked Caden about it the next morning. I thought maybe he had forgot it was there- but he said he thought Santa brought that one for Coleman. He was leaving it there and didn’t want to open it. *sigh*

I can see why he said that, it WAS something Coleman would have loved, and I don’t know WHAT Santa was thinking when he brought that one. I finally convinced Caden to open it, but he really hasn’t played with it much.

He got his first report card with all good marks except tying his shoe. He says he’s a FAILURE- and was the ONLY one in his class who couldn’t tie. I told him I didn’t believe he was the ONLY one, and he cried, “well- there was maybe five… or three, but anyways- I FAILED!!!” We’ll have to practice more I guess.

Oh- another thing he’s been in to lately…is Lily the Bear. My class has been following a bear in Ely, MN that has a live web cam in the den. The mother black bear, Lily had a baby bear last Friday. You can hear the bear nursing and everything. It’s pretty cool if you’d like to check it out…

www.bear.org .

So that’s a little of what’s been going on around here lately….I know, not too exciting…
Here’s a video I made for Caden on New Year’s Day. This song makes me tear up every time I hear it for some reason…I think I’m going to start a new tradition and make a New Year’s video each year. Here’s our first:

We continue to pray for all of the families missing their kids- and all the little warriors still battling.
Thanks for checking in on us- your messages mean a lot to us.

Until next time,
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
Oh and on our snow days I was messing around with editing a few old pics…here are some I came up with. I’d like to turn some of these into post cards so I’ll have to do some checking on that…but thought I’d share here-

And a quote I ran across I liked:
"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us;
What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."
~Albert Pike

Amen to that.

One Year...

2010-01-04T20:53:00.000-08:00

Thank you for the messages of support- with tomorrow (the 5th) being the 1st anniversary of Coleman winning his fight and going to Heaven, I know people are wondering how we’re doing. I look back at the pictures of this time last year and just remember what a painful place we were in at that point.
I think about that night we drove home from Hospice- numb-
After walking in the door to a house where time stood still = Christmas presents still unwrapped- toys all over the floor- morphine bottles- medicine galore scattering the counter…his shoes laying there- Coleman’s things all around me- I hit the floor…I sobbed from the deepest part of me, like I’d never sobbed before- all that came out was a choked squeak, “I want him back…I WANT HIM BACK!” I sobbed until I could no longer breathe. I laid there on the floor until I had no tears left- my tear cup was empty…I pulled myself into our chair and sat and watched the sun come up…wondering how it could be possible that time could go on, when our whole world just ended.
How could I be saying I wanted him back, when two hours before I was telling him it was okay to go…that he could stop fighting so hard, that we’d be okay- we promised him. But at that moment, feeling the emptiness, I changed my mind…What was I thinking??? HOW were we going to do this? How was Caden ever, EVER going to make it without Coleman? How were WE going to be okay?
I typed out a big long update- reliving those last days- but decided to save it for my personal journal…because I’ve always wanted THIS page- Coleman’s page- to be about HOPE…something HE taught us. NEVA DIV UP. As painful as those memories are, we try our best to focus on the good times- the funny times- the love we shared in our time together…and that love goes on.

This past year has taught us so much…we’ve been to the bottom of the canyon. We’ve spent the last year doing our best to walk the long winding road up. It hasn’t been easy- sometimes we slip back down, but along the way we’ve managed to smile here and there- something we learned from Coleman…to make the most of what you’re given- even if it is “a buncha BULLSH!T”. Scott and I told Coleman we would never give up…that we’d be okay, and we’re working on it…one day at a time, and sometimes moment by moment. Caden has shown us the way…being so brave and keeping us smiling. He tells me HE misses Coleman more than anyone, and I always agree with him. I let him have that- they were twins- best friends- and truly the only friend either one had for so long.
Caden doesn’t know it has been a year tomorrow- I figured why tell him? We can’t let balloons go- the temp is WAYYYY too cold…we can’t visit the cemetery…the entrances are blocked with snow banks….but we celebrate Coleman’s life every day in one way or another, so I’ve avoided telling Caden what tomorrow marks. I don’t know if that’s the right decision, but it’s the one we made. Caden HAS been a little “down” the past couple of days- so it makes me wonder if he senses it…or maybe I’m just reading too much into things. Who knows….they always did have a bond we could never understand, so I don’t know.
We’ve had to learn to deal with our pain…We WILL be okay, it’s just hard to express how VERY much we miss him…and I know people say THIS day- THIS week -will be hard, but truly I don’t think it will be any harder than the days we’ve managed to get through so far, and the days ahead where I know it will hit us again like a ton of bricks. It’s a road we’re still walking, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see the top, until we are reunited with him again, but onward we climb…sometimes sitting down for a rest, but always getting back up- and yes, with one set of footprints sometimes. I promised Caden God would take care of us- and at times it was almost like I was trying to convince myself as much as him, but we’ve held on to that, and He HAS carried us, and continues to. I ask myself "how in the heck did we ever make it a year? I didn't think it was possible, but Coleman knew, "with DOD ALL FINGS ARE POSS-A-BULL!" and he was right, only by the grace of God. The sun continues to come up- and we continue to live, carrying all those lessons our Coleman taught us along with us….and thanking God for our blessings- each and every one of them.
Speaking of blessings, again, I have to say thank you to everyone for your support. We will never be able to express how grateful we are. AND if you’d like to do an act of kindness in honor of Coleman- we’d love to hear about it… For us- it helps to know his spirit lives on, and that he’s remembered. I know tomorrow I’ll once again go through a drive through and pay for the person behind me, just to remember how much he loved doing it…okay- for those who live around here- if you see me driving tomorrow, don’t tailgate me, waiting for me to pull in somewhere! :)
I’m going to repost my entry from last year, and the video from Cman’s celebration of life. A life we continue to celebrate…every day- with HOPE in our hearts. Oh were we blessed to have had this little boy in our lives. I’ll update on our holidays next time…until then-

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

Before I post last year’s entry, here’s a video made by one of our “angels” Maisey…THANK YOU SO MUCH! And yes, the heart of life IS good…

REPOSTED FROM JANUARY 6th, 2009
TEARS OF HOPE…
Today the world may have cried a river of tears for a little boy’s life that ended way too soon, but we believe Heaven is REJOYCING over Coleman’s job well done.

Coleman was an amazing child of God and we were so honored to be chosen as his parents.

He left this world at 10:45 last night- he fought HARD until the very end, not wanting to give up, but finally letting go. He was a warrior and a hero our hearts will forever miss. We had the most glorious five years together- a gift we will never forget.

A quick story. :)

One day Coleman heard someone say they were mad at God. He didn’t say a word, but later came to me with this complete look of disbelief on his face and asked, “mommy? did you hear them say they were mad at DOD? WHY would they say that?” He couldn’t even fathom the thought. Then he raised his little eyebrows and said, “well, I hope they don’t say that in PUB-WIC (public)!” and walked away. He knew there were some things he could not change, but HIS faith never wavered.

Lots of people have mentioned their anger toward God …how can He let this happen when so many people have been praying for Coleman? Why didn’t he answer our prayers?

I just can’t be angry at Our God who sent Coleman to us in the first place. Coleman was a child of God, WE were chosen to be his parents- and how blessed we were. Maybe my feelings will change, but like Coleman, I can’t imagine being angry at God. Would we have loved to have had more time with Coleman? YES! I want him back right now, but I know that’s the selfish part of me talking. I know I will hurt more than I can ever imagine in missing him…and I know I will have MANY days of heartache and anger, but my anger is over the fact we live in a world where we can do so much, but still do not have a cure for this horrific disease. Children are paying the price for that. More on that will come-

I guess what I’m saying is I know for a fact, Coleman would NOT want us to be mad at God. He taught us so much in his time here. His lessons will go on for a very long time. He knew where he came from and he knew where he was going. My heart aches for more time, but I’m SO thankful for the time we got with him, and we know we WILL be with him again. God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want him to…HIS ways are not ours, and that’s hard to accept, but true. It doesn’t mean I don’t question it- it’s hard to understand, but one day we WILL know.

Many people have asked how Caden is doing. Now that’s a long story, but we have assured him that we love him. He is dealing the best way he can- just like us.

I turned my desk Praying Parent calendar today, and thought I’d share what it said…
“We are dependent on God to enable us to raise our child properly, and He will see to it that our child’s life is blessed. One thing I have learned is that I should not try to force my own will on my child in prayer. I have found it is better to pray more along the lines of “Lord show me how to pray for this child. Help me to raise him Your way, and may Your will be done in his life.”
I believe God’s will was done through Coleman. I know it.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Coleman-

God bless you baby. We love you so much.
Coleman said long ago, "some day I won't need NO more meds or pokes, wight mommy?”
No more sweetie. You are free.

One more story to share…thanks again Nadine.
The Parable of the Twins-

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, “isn’t it great that we were conceived? Isn’t it great to be alive?”
Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother’s cord that gave them life, they sang for joy, “how great is our Mother’s love, that she shares her own life with us!”
As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing. “what does it mean?” asked the one. “It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end, said the other. “But I don’t want to go”, said the other, “but maybe there is life after birth.” But how can there be?” responded the other one. “We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end.”
And so the one fell into deep despair, saying, “If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It is meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all?” “But there has to be,” protested the other. “How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?”
How you ever seen our mother?” said one. “Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good?”
And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried for joy. For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.

Author Unknown

Blessings to you all,
Nev-va Div up-
Team Larson

And my all time favorite Coleman video…because this was just so him…A story of LOVE...Coleman’s beloved Bunny Foo Foo- he lost him during an MRI following his stem cell transplant, and SOMEHOW bunny found his way back…(UTUBE threatened to pull this because of the song used, but somehow it stayed up!)

Dec. 23rd...

2009-12-23T20:30:00.000-08:00

December 23rd….27 years ago today my dad went to heaven…(stupid cancer!!!) I know he was there to meet Coleman when he arrived. *sigh* Missing them both, (and my brother) but imagining what it must be like to be THERE celebrating…How blessed we all are that because of the first Christmas, we all get that chance- to be together with Him forever and ever...please pray for all of the families missing someone they love...

We are debating whether to make the trip back to my mom’s tomorrow. I know the last time I posted I said we might be leaving today- I was a day ahead of myself. It’s what happens when you’re on vacation- all the days run together until they run out way too quickly! Scott has to work a half day tomorrow and then MAYBE- we’ll be heading out? We’ll see- and in true Team Larson fashion, we aren’t PLANNING on anything- just playing it by ear. Caden’s school was canceled today, and the trees are heavy with ice- we actually got a recorded message last night from the Webster County Sherriff’s dept. saying travel was not recommended through Friday, and if you DID go out to be advised help may not be able to get to you if you needed it. They recommended a full tank of gas and carrying a survival kit. Caden started packing his survival kit right away! :) Ahhh Iowa Winters. If we can’t make it, we’ll head up when the storm passes. Better to be safe than sorry I guess.

So today Caden and I were home together again. He’s always good for keeping things interesting! We did a little baking, wrapped some gifts, and made some ornaments he wants to pass out to his aunts/uncles. Oh and then there was this…

For his birthday he got a claw machine that you put candy in…and he’s been playing with it non-stop.

It plays really annoying loud carnival-type music that gets faster and faster as time runs out. Well, he has I mean- HAD -the thing stocked with bubble gum, and ‘accidentally’ got gum in his hair today! It freaked him out and he came running crying his head off! I thought maybe I was going to have to do the whole buzz thing AGAIN- until I tried peanut butter- and finally got it all out. I told him THAT’S what he gets for putting five pieces of gum in his mouth and then playing with it! He said, “it wasn’t FIVE- it was only THREE.” :) Problem solved- lesson learned…and he was all smiles and giggling that he smelled like a peanut butter sandwich when it was all said and done.

I finished up the two videos last night I’ve been working on. (posted at the end of the update) First I have to share what happened to me last night. The house was dark except the Christmas tree lights, the song from Polor Express “If you just BELIEVE” was on the radio in the kitchen, and I was sitting at my computer finishing up…I could see the front porch from where I was sitting, and RIGHT when I clicked SAVE on my computer, the door bell rang. It scared the be-jeepers outta me! BUT when my heart rate slowed down, I giggled to think how Cman must have laughed seeing me jump! You know, I’m not usually one to believe in things like ‘signs’, but sometimes when they happen, it’s just too much for a coincidence.

Here’s another one…
Many people know Coleman LOVED it when we read books to him, but probably not many know his ALL TIME favorite book was THE BIG HUNGRY BEAR AND THE RED RIPE STRAWBERRY. The boys got it as a gift from our friends the Bundy’s long ago. Coleman had the entire book memorized word for word…He didn’t just ‘read’ it, he felt EVERY word as he read. I know I have a video of him reading it when he was 2-3 years old, but I can’t seem to find it. I can still hear him though- he’d open it to the title page and say, “FANK YOU FROM-A BUNDYS” and then start the story. Oh how he loved that book. Well, yesterday Caden came home from school and whipped out his library book…it was MERRY CHRISTMAS BIG HUNGRY BEAR.

As I read it to him, I could just HEAR Coleman saying “but witta mouse, don’t you know about the BIG HUN-GWEE BEAR???” I asked Caden if he remembered the book about the big hungry bear we used to read…he said he didn’t, but he only picked this book because the BIGFOOT MONSTER TRUCK book was already checked out! :)

And one last story I thought was pretty cool, but never got posted here…
When we were getting ready to redo Caden’s bedroom, we were shopping around for beds. One day we went into the furniture store- just looking, and the lady working gave Caden a snowman ornament. It was right after Thanksgiving- and we didn’t have our tree up. That night we were going to a friend’s house to visit. They had decorated their tree that day, and I mentioned to Caden he could take the ornament and give them if he wanted to. He said, “NO- it’s MINE!” I told him that was fine, he could keep it, I just thought maybe he wanted to give them something. He sat there for a while and asked, “well what are you gonna give me if I do give it to them?” I said, “NOTHING! I told you, you don’t HAVE to give it away, I just thought maybe you WANTED to, but keep it if you want…it’s up to you. If you give it away, give it out of the goodness of your heart- not because you’re going to get something in return. Keep it if you want to…that’s okay too. I just mentioned it Caden, and you know sometimes when you give from your heart, God makes sure it comes back to you at least three times, but you have to want to give- not because someone makes you do it. I understand if you want to keep it too…there are other ways to give, so do what you want.”
He decided he did want to give it to them. A couple of weeks passed and we forgot all about the ornament. We went back to the store to get his bed one Saturday. When we got back into the pick-up Scott and I noticed Caden had a sack…I hadn’t seen anyone give it to him- (wow, I guess I should have been paying closer attention to him!) I asked him what was in the sack…he said, “oh- the lady gave me two dusting clothes- one for you and one for me, AND she gave me THREE snowman ornaments- one for me, one for you, and one for daddy. I guess you were right what you said about God mommy!” I asked him if he had told her what I said and he said no. He brought all three ornaments home and hung them on our tree. I hope he remembers the story that goes with them in years to come.

***OKAY….our electricity just went off…and my battery is half full, so better shut this down and go wake Scott up…yikes-

Here are the two videos…one for Coleman’s first Christmas in Heaven,

And ….we go on….this was one of my gifts to Scott this year…

Ps. Check out this site…pretty cool…..SPEAKING OF COOL, I hope the electricity comes back on and we have heat tonight! Wish us luck!!!

http://portablenorthpole.tv/watch/06c59c3755c9e93c973db89bd37f58fb

Merry Christmas everyone-

"For God so loved the world,
that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish but have everlasting life."

~ John 3:16

AND THAT IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL.
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

Two More Days Til Christmas....

2009-12-22T14:05:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Team Larson! For some reason I’m pretty emotional today- I think it’s because I can finally have the chance to relax a bit…Caden’s at school having his Christmas party. He was so excited when I dropped him off this morning. I got through my last week of school- and managed not to break down once. My school does a tradition that I absolutely LOVE where we get the entire school together in the morning and sing carols around the piano and Christmas tree. What is it about kids singing songs that make them look so darn angelic?!? :) The parents are invited to spend the ten minutes or so with us, and it’s just really, really cool. This year when we sang FROSTY- an image came to my mind…and I could feel that hot sting of tears starting, but I held it back- and made it through. I know, Frosty isn't really one of those emotion-striking songs, but it's the memories I attach to it that made me want to cry. Music is the one thing that always gets to me…I’m pretty good at choking back tears- I’ve perfected that with practice, but when it comes to music, it gets me every time. Here’s the “angry ribbon dancer” and his brother dancing to FROSTY…oh what fun they were having!
Boy do we miss you Coleman.

I woke up today thinking of last year on Dec. 22nd… we took Coleman on what we didn’t know at the time would be his last outing…to the Polar Express Train in Boone. He wasn’t feeling the best – but as always made the most of the day. His favorite part was that his buddy Eli could join us, and his cousin Jacey came along and spent the night with us that night…Cman also loved that he got a cookie on the train, and eating at McDonalds afterwards! :) It was such a great day for us all, and we’re forever grateful for all who helped set the trip up. Two days after this, on Christmas Eve morning Coleman woke up and tried to talk, but only mumble-jumble would come out…

Well, we all know what happened from that point on…

I actually typed out a recap of our Christmas last year. I think it was the first time I actually sat down and put the details on paper…- I won’t post it here- why bring everyone down? I saved it to read in later years, but really didn’t even need to type it out- it’s burned deep in my memory bank. It was so very painful…We’re just so thankful we had this good day:

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Back to the present…I have to say a HUGE thank you to so many people who have sent cards/gifts to Caden & to our family…I find it hard to explain how much we appreciate it…we continue to be brought to tears. There is something about the kindness of a stranger- how it touches your heart…just please know how DEEPLY grateful we are…I really wish I had the words.
Sunday was Caden’s Church Christmas program. He was a Sheppard and worked so hard to have his WHOLE part memorized. All the boys said the part together, he mostly just stood there and mumbled along! :) Still, it was a wonderful program.

I’m uploading a video of one of his songs I’ll have to post later…it’s taking a while.

Then he had his school Christmas program last night. He told us on the way to sit in the front row- but it was so packed, we ended up being up on the bleachers, which actually worked out okay. I think we could see better from there, but I saw HIM come out on stage scanning and scanning the front row…poor guy. It took everything in me not to stand up and shout “I’m BACK HERE CADE!!!” He finally found us in the bleachers half way through and gave a little wave and smile. When we got home he was putting his jammies on and said, “geez- I’d better take off these old-fashioned socks and save em!” (black socks-)

Last weekend we took him to the mall for a picture with Santa…

He was so funny because he told me before he went he was going to pull on Santa’s beard, and if it came off, he’d know it wasn’t the real guy- but when he got off his lap, he said, “MOM! I checked him all out- that beard was REAL!”

Here are a couple of maps he drew to make sure Santa knew the floor plan of our house and where to leave the loot. Too bad he drew them on the kitchen counter while using a permanent black marker that soaked through! :) Thank God for magic erasers!

He continues to make us laugh…he said he wanted to add something to his Christmas list last night- a Spy Kit? I told him, “ohhhh noooo you don’t….you can’t add things NOW- it’s too late in the game for that! Santa already has everything ready. I’m pretty sure the sleigh is packed.” He said, “well it’s not like there’s levels to this game mom- it’s not like we’re on level three or nothin- Santa can still bring it.” I said, “It’s level FOUR CADEN- GAME OVER!!! NO MORE ADDING THINGS TO YOUR LIST!!!” haha

I’m working on our Christmas video- a special one I made for Cman, and our family one, so will be posting those soon. Sure hope we make it back to my family’s tomorrow…there is a WINTER STORM coming…complete with freezing rain and ice…surprise, surprise. We’re going to do our best to get there, but won’t be taking any chances- we’re hoping everyone stays SAFE.

From the bottom of our hearts we wish a VERY Merry Christmas to you all...May the love we feel on Jesus’ birthday be with us every day of the New Year. And in Caden’s words- LISTEN UP- JESUS IS THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS! :)

Never before have I been more grateful for the gift of our Saviour.

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

(Photo by Morgan Fredrickson Gowrie) THANK YOU MORGAN- WE LOVE YOU!!!

Videos

2009-12-16T20:20:00.001-08:00

Short post- I'm exhausted tonight...TWO more days for me and then CHRISTMAS VACATION!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my class of first graders, I am just READY for a much needed break! Caden has school until Wednesday, which he's happy about. I picked him up from daycare tonight and asked him how his day was...he climbed into the van and said, "oh- you know....one day closer to retirement." He cracks me up! I think he's maybe heard his DAD say that a time or two, and he wants to be JUST like his daddy! :)

I wanted to post a couple of Christmas videos the boys did in years past. Some people say it's too difficult for them to watch videos of Caden and Coleman...for me, it brings a smile to remember the good times. Yes, it also brings me tears with missing Coleman so much, but I love hearing his voice again.

We all grieve differently, so to watch is up to you. I love the parts where Coleman grabs Caden's ear when he's irritated with him. :) Boy do these seem like a lifetime ago.

A few people have asked about not being able to view pictures or videos on here. I don't know the exact reason why, but here's my best guess...Carepages now has a security box that pops up when you open the page. You have the choice to click on "yes" or "no" when asked about displaying secure info. On my home computer I have to click NO but at school, (not that I ever have the time to be on my computer at school:) I have to click YES. So my advice is...if you don't see the pictures, close out of carepages, and log back in clicking the opposite of what you usually do. Hope that helps! Or you can always try our blog at:
http://nevadivup.blogspot.com/
http://nevadivup.blogspot.com/

Before the videos I wanted to thank you for all of the messages of support you've left for us to read. We cannot tell you how much it means that you took the time to let us know you care. We are continually amazed at the MANY MANY angels Coleman's journey has brought into our lives- and we can never EVER thank you enough for all the support you've given us. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Please remember ALL the people missing a loved one this Christmas...there are so many people in OUR prayers.

and Rudolph...

BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

Birthdays...

2009-12-13T19:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, lots of catching up to do on here…the days go by so quickly… but as the song says we’re ‘muddling through somehow’-

I have to back up and update on Caden’s birthday party last Sunday. This was the first party where he could invite friends (we had to be careful with germs during Coleman’s treatments- and with their birthday being in December, we usually just had a small family party). Soooo, I told him he could invite whoever he wanted to…he started with his WHOLE class of Kindergarteners, then started adding some from the other classes- and we ended up sending out 38 invitations! Yikes!!! It was going to be at the roller-skating rink though, so the more the merrier! We ended up with a final headcount of about 27 kids who made it to the party, and Caden was THRILLED! He really had a blast, and it was so good to see him enjoying it so much. Thanks to all of his friends for making it a great day for him! AND a BIG thanks to the Horn Family for bringing Eli up for the party- it was great to see you guys again! (cp: EliRHorn)

UPSIDE DOWN ELI! :)

I kick myself now for not getting a group photo of the whole bunch of kids, but it was difficult to get them all in one place at the same time! AND my battery kept dying…I knew I’d forgotten something! Here are a few pics I did get from the day:

After the party, we headed to the Gowrie Festival of Trees- where local businesses decorate theme trees…this was emotional, as we took Caden AND Coleman for the past few years, so I could definitely hear Coleman commenting on all of the trees this year. He would have had a LOT to say! :) One of the trees was decorated by the Funeral Home…and had a special decoration in memory of Cman- THANK YOU Palmers-

Another tree was from the Gowrie News and had an ornament with a picture of Caden and Coleman on Santa’s lap. I remember Coleman noticing this ornament before…so had to go back and find this picture…

Caden was very excited to take his birthday treats to school on Thursday- (he picked popcorn, sour gummy worms and candy cane sticks- what a combo!) but school was canceled because of the blizzard. He was BUMMED!!! BUT I was thrilled! :) He and I ended up spending the day together snowed in…we watched a couple of Christmas movies, baked him a cake, made some cookies, put a puzzle together, drank kool-aid out of fancy wine glasses, danced in the kitchen until I couldn’t breathe, and played outside until we couldn’t feel our fingers or toes! BRRRRR!!!!

He was a little sad on and off that day-

He talked a LOT about Coleman. He asked me, “remember when I would throw snowballs at Coleman mommy?” I told him I think Coleman sent all of the snow to show him what a snowball was like in Heaven…and I think he got him back! That made Cade giggle.

Caden and I got a LOT of talking about things in that day…He asked me if I could make an appointment with his counselor. He needed to talk to her. I asked him what he wanted to talk about, and he said, “well, not really nothing, I just wanted to see her dog MURPHY!” :) I told him we could go visit if he wanted to.

We also talked about how he could tell me any of the things he’s feeling, and he didn’t have to worry about making me sad, or mad…that I would just listen, and I would always love him no matter what. He just talked a lot about the things he and Coleman used to do together and how much he misses him. I was very matter of fact about things- and listened- and didn’t let my tears out until later. It’s so hard to hear him talk about how much he misses Coleman when there isn’t a thing I can do about it.

Later that night he came to me and said, “mommy? You know how you said I could tell you anything, and no matter what you would always love me, no matter what I did?....well, then how come sometimes you say you’re gonna send me to BOOT CAMP? HUH????” I started laughing and told him I would still love him while he was at boot camp, and I could still come and visit him! So he’d better be good! :)
He’s a character!

Caden’s birthday present was a new bedroom, which turned into more than I thought it was going to…He and Coleman shared a room- and it had been the same since they were babies. Last weekend I started taking their beds apart. Caden was in the room while I was working, jumping on his bed and then doing a maze book. All of the sudden I looked over and he was in tears. I asked him what was wrong, and he sobbed “there’s just a lotta memories in here!” It broke my heart…he ran out of the room and downstairs and told me to LEAVE HIM ALONE! I told him I felt the same way, and if he wanted, I would put the beds back together and we could leave everything the same- we didn’t have to change a thing…I thought he WANTED a new room. He yelled, “NOOOOO! I DO want a new room! I just want Coleman here too!” There were lots of tears for all of us that day….Caden kept running and hiding and I heard him sniffling and whispering, “I love you Coleman” over and over. It was a very emotional day for us all. I was ready to stop the project and put everything back, but Caden pleaded with me to keep working on it.

So finally I said, “I have an idea…What if we make it like a home-make-over show, and you aren’t allowed to go into the room until Mommy is allllll the way finished with it…then you’ll be surprised.” That got a BIG smile from him- and he agreed. I worked and worked at getting the teddy bear border down, painting the colors he picked out- (he wanted BLACK on one wall with red on the others, but settled for gray and red) and here’s the almost final project.

Before:

After:

He loves it! And so far hasn’t rolled out of his new bed- it’s SO high up he needs a step stool to get into it! I ran off two of Cade’s choices of pictures of him and Coleman together, and we put those in what used to be Coleman’s side of the room…along with the Neva Div Up flag from the memorial race last summer. He also has a photo album of them together he can look through when he wants to. He’s thanked me over and over again for his new room, so I think he’s happy with it…except for not having a TV! :) haha

Yesterday Caden went rollerskating with his friend Zack and SANTA! :) This was the first time we didn’t have the wheels tightened on his skates, and boy was he flying! He was sweating up a storm, but loving every minute of it! He was really checking Santa over- and said he noticed a string holding Santa’s beard on, so “it musta just been one-a his helpers…” Hard to pull one over on him, but he is REALLY into our “elf on a shelf” the boys got last year and jumps out of bed every morning to see where the elf has moved to. The first day our elf came out he asked me, “mom? Do you think Coleman would mind if I changed the elf’s name to Elfie?” I said, “no, I don’t think he’d mind sweetie.” We sat there for a minute and he said, “Uhhh, YES HE WOULD!!!” I started laughing because I knew he was right! Coleman WOULD have minded! :) He would have had a LOT to say about that! I told Caden, “yeah, you’re right- he would, but go ahead and do it any way if you want.” He laughed and with that twinkle he’d get in his eye when he was trying to make Coleman mad, he said, “OKAY!”

Here are some pics from Skating with Santa:

Caden won a free pop for winning the LIMBO!

Here he is with his buddy Zack- and Santa…

While we were at the skating rink yesterday, I mentioned to our photographer friend Morgan that I had wanted to get some Christmas pictures taken of Caden, but I had waited too long- Last year she took our family picture with Coleman about his time… She told me to bring Cade in at 5:00 and she’d snap some pics! THANKS MORGAN!!! We should get them in next week some time.

Here are a couple of oldies of the boys together that I treasure now…

So I think that just about catches us up….I have one week of school left before Christmas vacation, and Caden has a week and a half. He has his Sunday School program coming up, and his school program too, so I’m sure I’ll be updating again soon. Oh- part 3 of this update is the Birthday letters I wrote to the boys this year. It’s a tradition I started 6 years ago for them. I debated on doing one for Coleman this year, but decided I’m going to keep writing his…and adding them to his box…not sure WHY, but for now they’ll continue. I’m also going to be reposting some of the Christmas Carol videos in the days ahead the boys made in the past…just because I never get tired of watching them.

Thank you for the prayers, the messages, and for checking in on us. We appreciate it more than we can say! Our hope is that everyone takes a quiet moment in the middle of these crazy days to remember the TRUE meaning of Christmas. There are so many gifts we can give that don’t cost a dime, but are more precious than gold…and these are usually the gifts we remember the most!

Blessings to you all,
Forever Team Larson

Here are the BIRTHDAY LETTERS 2009:

Dear Caden Dale…
I’m writing this letter on your sixth birthday. How did that happen so quickly? Well, usually I tell you what happened in the last year, but there is so much to list here. This has been quite a year for you Cade. The first thing I have to mention is Coleman going to Heaven. I know how painful that was, and still is for you…and I know you’re doing your best to deal with it in your own way. I’ve been doing MY best to help you along, but there have been many, MANY days- YOU show ME the way. At Coleman’s funeral you said to me, “why does everybody haffta keep cryin? Can’t we just go to our house and have a big party?” … THAT would be you! You and Coleman always did love planning a big party together! I’ve told you many times Coleman is still with you- in your heart…and always will be. You tell me he’s an angel on your shoulder…and you have the devil on the other. I asked you where in world you thought that up- and you said you saw it on Tom and Jerry! :)
This year on your birthday, we had a snow day- it was such a blessing to spend the whole day, just you and me together at home. We played outside, (until our fingers and toes froze!), put puzzles together, watched Christmas movies, drank kool-aid out of fancy wine glasses, baked some cookies and a cake, and danced in the kitchen until I couldn’t breathe anymore! YOU are quite the dancer Caden! :)
This year has been a WHOLE BUNCH of firsts for you. You started preschool in March, and discovered a whole new world…a world with many friends your own age. I’m so thankful for all of those friends who you’ve come to love. They’ve really helped you a lot this year. I know it’s tough to be around grown-ups all the time.
You danced the night away at Dance Marathon, walked in the Curesearch Walk, played your first year of soccer, t-ball, flag football, and are now in wrestling. You absolutely LOVE Kindergarten, AND daycare, and all of the teachers at your school and Sunday School. You have so much love in your heart, and you always look for the good in people. You took swimming lessons for the first time, went Trick or Treating for real, had a birthday party with lots of friends, and learned to roller skate this year.
You’ve faced all the firsts with such a positive attitude- you’ve always been an easy-going, “go-with-the-flow” kind of kid…much out of necessity, but I know you could have chosen to look at all of these things as hurdles; instead you faced them head on with a smile on your face, and more importantly in your heart, and always saw the best in whatever you faced. Our NEVA DIV UP motto is just as much a part of you as it was Coleman. I love that about you, and pray you always keep that smile in your heart Caden.
You’ve gone through a lot of “phases” this year…last year was Power Rangers- but now you tell me your “over those” and this year it’s been Star Wars, Bakugan, go carts, four wheelers, and DIRT BIKES! You’ve also started to love Art projects and can sit longer to complete them. This is the first year you have written your own Santa List, and you’re even reading a few books on your own. You’re always asking me how to spell something, and you do a great job when I tell you to “stretch it out”. I’m so proud of all you’re learning Caden.
Now that you’ve turned six, you tell me you’re looking for a new girlfriend, because you had 5 when you were 5 years old, so now you think you need one more! :) I tell you MOMMY had better ALWAYS be number ONE on that list! As rough-and-tough as you are, you give the best soft hugs and kisses when you remember, and you can ALWAYS melt my heart with a “Hey Mommy? ….I love you.”
We still have our secret way of saying goodnight, and our secret way of saying I love you….just between you and me. Don’t worry, I won’t tell any one.
My heart is so full of love for you Caden, and I promise to tell you that every single day. I promise to always be here when you need me…and to do my best to let you experience things without me when you need to. A mother couldn’t be more proud of a son than I am of you Caden Dale. I can’t wait to watch all of the things you are going to amaze me with as a six year old!
Happy Birthday!!!
Heart and Soul,
Your Mommy

Oh Coleman,
Where do I begin? I remember writing your letter last year and not being able to face that it would be our last with you here in our arms. I couldn’t face it then, because it was just too painful…the thought of being separated physically from you tore my heart out, so I plunked out on the keyboard my dreams for your future, knowing deep in my soul that future probably wasn’t going to be here with us. This year as I sit to write your letter I have no choice but to face it. It’s like a kick in the gut, a true physical ache, but I’m doing my best. Do you remember all the times I told you, “sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, but we can make the most of it…” – how many times do you suppose I said those words to you? Too many to count…but we always seemed to manage turning the most horrible situations into ones with at least a few giggles and smiles.
So now, I imagine YOU saying those words to me…oh how I miss your voice my sweetie.
Looking back, I cringe to count up how many times you went through “things you didn’t want to do”- YOU called those things “a buncha bullsh*t” and even though I told you not to say that…. I agreed. You had to go through so much Coleman, but when we were in the middle of the fight, it seemed like the only choice. I’m so sorry you had to be brave way too many times. Daddy and I were doing everything we could to keep you here with us. I wonder now… did we push it too far? Did we make you go through too much? Maybe, but we just couldn’t face the thought of losing you. We needed to fight. I hope you understand.
I smile because I think of you telling me in your ‘mr. know it all’ voice, “so why are ya worrying about that NOW? Geez mom.” You had faith that “Dod” would help you, and He did…Oh how I miss you, your outlook on things, I miss your faith in “Dod”…your wisdom of making things so simple. I know you wouldn’t want me going back second guessing the choices we made. The most important thing is we made the most of our time together, and we loved each other more than some people do in a lifetime. I just wish it could have lasted longer, but I’m thankful for the time we did have…
When you were born, I thought it was MY job to teach you…but YOU ended up teaching ME more than I could have ever imagined.
We all miss you more than I could ever put into words. Daddy and I think of you constantly, lots of times with tears in our eyes, because we miss you so very much, but many times with laughter…you always made mommy and daddy laugh- you had such a sense of humor that went far beyond your years…and Caden, well- Caden deals with missing you in his own way. I hear him whisper often, “I love you Coleman.” And I wonder if you two still have your little secrets. I know he’s hurting so much, but he keeps that big ‘ol Caden smile coming. YOU were always the one who talked out your feelings…and talked, and talked, and talked. :) But Caden keeps so much in. He doesn’t want anyone to be sad. Please watch over your brother as he grows. I know you are with him…You are a part of him…I try to fill in by playing with him, but I know I can’t fill that bond you two had.
I miss you Coleman. I miss our foot snugglin’, your stories, your magic tricks, your singing…your non-stop talk…(it’s WAY too quiet here without you!) We miss everything about you. Everything reminds me of you…the big bright moon, all your shows you loved to watch, your favorite foods, your ‘bestest’ songs, your favorite books, your little sayings…there must be a million and one times a day I think of you- BUT I know we will be together again one day, So until then, just know that you are always, ALWAYS in my heart…and on my mind. You are still the first thing I think of when I open my eyes each morning, the last thing before I fall asleep, and every minute in between. I’ll do my best to make the most of things here until we see each other again… Even though I can’t give this letter to you in person, I will put it in your box, and send ALL my “tisses and hugs” up to you today and every day. I promise to Neva Div Up Cole-Man. Happy Heavenly Birthday my boy. I hope you have a BIG party with lots of GREEN decorations!
All my Love,
Mommy

Snow...Snow...and more SNOW!!!

2009-12-09T09:50:00.001-08:00

It's a blizzard here in Iowa! Hope everyone is in where it's safe and warm! PAJAMA DAY at the Larsons, I LOVE days like this!!! Scott is going a bit stir crazy, but we're having fun.

I'm praying our electricity stays on...the wind is REALLY whipping out there and we can barely see out of any windows. Caden got out of school yesterday at 10:30, me at 12:30 and then we broke out the sled! Good thing we fit it in then, because it isn't fit to be out there today!

Six years ago today we had an ice storm coming. Scott and I headed to Ames a day early, so we could get a hotel room and be there bright and early the next morning to deliver our boys we had waited so long for. Tomorrow Caden (and Coleman) turn six years old. One here and one in Heaven, but ALWAYS brothers for life.

I'm working on a birthday post- if you've been with us for a while, you know I always write the boys a birthday letter. This year the words are hard to find, but I'll get them finished. I have lots to post on...Caden's birthday party at the skating rink, our visit to the festival of trees and a birthday post to come soon. For today, I'm spending the day snuggling, doing a little baking and playing.

I'll end this with two of our Christmas videos and a BIG thank you for thinking of us, and checking in on how we are doing. Your support and messages mean more to us than we can say. We are blessed. THANK YOU! and STAY WARM!!!

Blessings to you all,
FORVER TEAM LARSON

and here's another...

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Our continued prayers for all the kids going through treatment, and all the families missing their kids.

Happy Birthday Scott!

2009-11-25T17:17:00.001-08:00

Made By Caden Dale...

Caden is watching the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving DVD…it still cracks me up every time I watch it with him…and also brings back a lot of memories, so thought I’d take a short break to do a quick update...."Chuck". :)

Today is Scott’s birthday. With his birthday always being so close to Thanksgiving, and sometimes ON Thanksgiving, it always makes me reflect a little more on how grateful I am to have him for my husband, which I know I should do every day. Don’t get me wrong, we have our days- :) you know, those days where we want to ~~hug~~ choke each other- I know, I know, that sounds harsh, but HEY I’m just being honest here! Believe me, he’d tell you the same thing. We’ve definitely had our ups and downs.

Going through the fight for your child’s life can either destroy a relationship, or strengthen it…I’m so thankful it’s been the latter for us. It hasn’t been easy though- we’re both hurting and grieving in our own ways. It’s stressful on a relationship. There are days we take each other for granted- BUT When I look at him, I know we can make it through absolutely anything together good or bad, and even if there are times it gets rough between the two of us, we won’t give up on each other. He really is my best friend.

Oh man, I just read that back and hope I didn’t jinx things, For some reason I just flashed back to the Jon and Kate+8 where they were getting remarried in Hawaii and told their tribe they were doing it so they could see mommy and daddy were always going to be there for them and married forever…YIKES, I remember watching that at the time and thinking, well what are they going to tell them later if they’re not??? If Scott ever, EVER starts wearing hundred dollar t-shirts, gets his ears pierced, and starts dating my plastic surgeon’s daughter, he’s in big trouble!!!…oh wait, I don’t have a plastic surgeon (obviously! :) so I guess we’re okay. WHEW!

Seriously, I am so grateful to be married to someone I know I can count on. Do we have the perfect marriage? No, but it’s always a work in progress. We’re both imperfect people, and we recognize that. I love him…he knows that…and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Soooo, you’re stuck with me Scott! :) Happy, HAPPY Birthday to my favorite turkey!!!!
Here is a video Caden made for Daddy, and of course the video the boys made last year for him. Coleman adored his daddy, and for good reason. Scott is the best dad I could have ever wished for my boys. He continues to amaze me with his patience…Caden always ALWAYS picks daddy over mommy, but he apologizes and tells me he still loves me, he just loves daddy a little more… then adds “but just a little bit!” :) lol I always tell him it’s okay, I understand. I’m so thankful they have that special bond. Happy Birthday Scott, we love you.

From Caden:

And last year’s….

Happy Thanksgiving to you all- may we remember to count our blessings every day of the year…we really do have MUCH to be Thankful for. I thank God for family and friends who have surrounded us with love this year.

THANKSGIVING BLESSINGS,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

Dear God,
Thank you for the people who have been there for our family, and who continue to pray for us. Thank you for Coleman’s life, and helping him to make a difference in the lives of others. Thank you for letting us be his parents...He made such an impact in his five years. I admit that we miss him so much it is hard to focus on our blessings some days. Please forgive us God. Help us in our selfish ways to realize we have so much to be grateful for, and help us to see not everything is about US. Help us to focus on others, instead of ourselves.
I pray for those who are hurting. Please give them Hope and Strength Jesus, to keep their eyes and hearts on You, and to know You are the way to our eternal lives -free from any pain. You know the suffering in our hearts God, and we know YOU Love us beyond imagination. We THANK YOU.
When Coleman went to Heaven, I tried not to ask you “WHY?”, but to ask “WHAT NOW?” instead. Please continue to lead us Lord in answering that question. Please help us to help others….and bring glory to you.
Amen.

Here are a few of Caden’s latest Art Projects I thought I’d share…this is the picture he made at school for what he’s thankful for. He said it's him and Coleman having a wheelchair race.

And here is a turkey he had to disguise. He came up with dressing it like a Christmas tree and even did the sewing of the candy canes and stars on his felt...Caden with a needle in his hand- YIKES- he only poked himself a couple of times, NOT as bad as the pocket knife incident at least! :)

Before:

After:

A Time of Thanks...

2009-11-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

Well, long time no update….for several reasons really. Life gets so busy- doesn’t it? AND there are times I’m just a loss for words- (I know some people find that hard to believe, but it’s true :)

Things here have been busy as usual…school keeps me busy- something about a room full of 23 first graders- there isn’t much ‘down time’! They keep me hopping. Scott’s been working really long hours- leaving for work in the morning before Caden and I even wake up, and getting home around 9-10:00 every night. He’s worked straight through the last few weekends. Caden, well- Caden is Caden, and remains his ‘happy-go-lucky’ self most of the time. He started wrestling practices last week, and is a riot to watch, but he loves it.

Here are a couple of pictures of him in his gear:

He wore himself out so much doing his moves he had to lay down to play Wii! :) Check out the orb in the picture next to him on the floor...hmmmm

He also LOVES going to school and daycare, which we’re so thankful for. He told me last week, “mommy, when I’m at school, I don’t miss Coleman so much…I still miss him, but not as much cuz I have kids around to play with”. Then he looked at me, like maybe he shouldn’t have said that, but I told him it was okay to feel what he felt. School is something he and Coleman never got to do together, so it’s kind of Cade’s own thing, and he doesn’t have the memories of Coleman there like he does at home, or when we go to the places we used to go with him. He has his sad moments, but I just keep reassuring him that whatever he feels is okay…he’s entitled to his feelings.

Several people have mentioned that this will be a hard time of the year for us. At first I thought, ‘well, every day has it’s hard moments’…but I do have to admit, as the holidays get closer, so many memories are coming back, and they aren’t exactly the happy memories I’d like them to be- funny thing about memories is that you can tell yourself you’re only going to think of the GOOD ones and then those nightmarish ones just sneak right in there when they want to, and especially at the times you DON’T want them to….We’ve been doing okay… we do have our days, our moments of struggle- BUT we have so much to be thankful for as well…and THAT is what we do our best to focus on.

Thinking back to last year this time, Coleman was really beginning to be in pain from his tumors. We were sent home from New York for the last time, knowing there was nothing else anyone could do for him medically. He was packing on the weight from the heavy dose of steroids he was on, and he was uncomfortable. He slowly lost his ability to walk on his own, and kept to the couch most of the time, unless I helped him to the bathroom, or moved him to another part of the house for a change of scenery. He was OBSESSED with doing art projects, even more than usual, and the tremors in his hands were slowing him down to the point it was getting harder for him to complete them the way he wanted to…it frustrated him- still, I remember him pushing on, with his paint brush in his little shaking hand, determined to finish what he started. He was NOT going to give up! THAT was Coleman. The other thing I remember so vividly is his mood swings…also made worse than usual from the tumors. He would be so happy, then suddenly SNAP at you, then instantly glide back to his sweet self. He’d say, “can you come div me a tiss mommy?” I’d answer, “sure Coleman, you know I will!” Then when I’d kiss him he’d yell, “NO! I SAID ONE TISS NOT TWO!!!” and get all grouchy. He’d see me back away and sweetly say, “but you know I wuv you mommy.”

One day I helped him to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later he yelled, “mommy? Tan you tum and talk to me while I’m poopin?” :) He could never be away from someone to converse with for long, and many of our best conversations together were while he was in the bathroom ‘doing his business’. I’d sit on their little step stool for the sink and he’d chat away. This day he asked me a lot of questions about why he couldn’t walk any more. It was excruciating explaining it to him. I tried to stay as positive as I could, but he wanted to know WHEN DOD was going to make him walk again. Not that he really wanted me to answer him…a lot of Coleman’s questions were just him thinking out loud. HE wanted to answer them himself, and if you tried, he usually corrected you with what HIS answer would be. The words that I remember the most from that day were when he told me, “I know Dod is dunna help me, but it’s no fun livin like this mommy.” At the time it choked me…it was one of those times as hard as I tried, I couldn’t hold back the tears. Those just aren’t words a four year old should ever come out of his mouth. It broke my heart.

BUT remembering those words also brings me some sort of peace- I know Coleman is no longer in pain. He didn’t like living the way he was. As hard as the holidays are going to be this year, they will not compare to how hard it was this time last year…knowing that cancer was slowly taking everything away from Coleman broke my heart into a million pieces. I can’t begin to explain how helpless we felt…time stood still, yet went way too fast- if that makes any sense. All I know is I wouldn’t wish Coleman back here, if it meant he had to be in pain. The hardest part of the end for me was signing the ‘do not resuscitate’ papers. I remember the doctors taking Scott and I to a room by ourselves to have a talk. At the time I saw it as meaning we were giving up- something that went against everything we had fought so hard against since the beginning of Coleman’s diagnosis. I wasn’t ready, yet there were no options left. Giving up wasn’t in me…we needed to fight! Yet, seeing this swollen shell our Coleman was stuck in, I knew – it was time. Not time to give up, but to give it to God, knowing He would take care of ALL of us. Through the entire two and a half year battle, THAT was the moment I cried the hardest.

God HAS held us up this year though…He brings us strength when nothing/no one else can. The thing is, as much as I tried to teach Coleman about faith, he ended up teaching us so much more. He ‘knew’ things that weren’t things we’d taught him, he just knew, and THAT is why I can find peace knowing his fight is over- and he doesn’t have to go through any of the horrible things he endured ever again. Still, there is this HUGE hole left. We feel it each and every day. I always told him I wished it was ME who was hurting and not him…and he would so sweetly say, “I wish it was you too mommy, but no, it’s me.” Oh do we miss him.

Caden’s (and Coleman’s) birthday is coming up….last year if you were on the carepages with us, you’ll remember the boys had a small party at the Sport’s Page. I remember Coleman wasn’t feeling the best, but we did our best to celebrate knowing it would be his last birthday, their last together, yet always, always holding out hope.

Caden is planning a BIG skating party this year, with MANY people on his invite list. It will be a bittersweet day, but we’re determined to make it a good one for Caden. He deserves that. And of course he will take a birthday present out to the cemetery for Coleman, and we’ll send some balloons up to his “brudder”…for they will always have a bond, whether they are together or apart.

Here’s a little piece of video I found on my birthday- it was Coleman reading Caden a Clifford Christmas book. This was taken shortly after Coleman’s release from his stem cell transplant. The boys were still getting used to being together again after their many week separation. Each one was getting used to sharing the spotlight, as Coleman had had our full attention while he was in the hospital, and Caden had been top banana at Grandma’s for many weeks. The video really shows how different their personalities were. Caden is still just as bouncy as he was here- and Coleman always, ALWAYS talked non-stop. I’m so thankful we have these memories on tape…

Tomorrow is my last work day this week and then I’m going in to help for a bit in Caden’s classroom on Wednesday…then we head back to my sister’s for THANKSGIVING…

We’re wishing you all a very HAPPY and BLESSED THANKSGIVING. We can’t thank you enough for all of your support and messages- you have been a HUGE blessing to our family, and we thank God for sending us so many angels to be a part of our team. Please keep praying for all the little heroes still fighting, and for all of the families missing their little heroes this Thanksgiving and every day.

NEVA DIV UP.

BLESSINGS to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON

A old picture, but one I love-

What? October is OVER?!?

2009-11-01T18:21:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween from the Team Larson Dirt Bike Rider! :) He only
spilled his candy bag 30 or 40 times because he couldn't see where
he was going, and those are DEFINITELY RIDING boots and NOT made
for walking! :) Still, he thought he looked GREAT!

Well, an extra hour added to the day. I planned on using that extra hour to get sooooo much accomplished- ha.
It's only a little past eight now, and it already feels more like midnight! I forgot how much I dislike it getting dark by 5:30.
It was a busy weekend around Team Larson Headquarters. After the week last week with two late nights at parent/teacher conferences, and then our Halloween party at school, I was about tuckered out!
Then Caden was awake Saturday morning at 6:00 a.m.! This little boy who I have to DRAAAGGGGG out of bed each morning at 6:45 was WIDE awake at six, and ready for the day! Go figure.

He had such fun trick or treating last night. It was his first true trick or treat experience, as last year Coleman wasn't feeling the best and the weather wasn't exactly perfection, so we only ended up going to 3-4 houses.

Last night's weather was perfect...just enough chill to keep you cool. Caden had a BLAST, and of course got way too much candy, which he dumped out on the table when we got home and sorted into piles of like kinds- "all Butterfingers go here, all M&M's there..." Yeah, he takes after his daddy- I'm pretty sure when I was a kid I just dug through the bag to find the piece I wanted :)
His first words once everything was sorted was "NOW LET'S GET TO EATING!" haha Now THERE is where he takes after his MOM! :)

We had church and Sunday school this morning, then visited the cemetary to visit Coleman's grave- {and remembering All Saints Day.} Coleman would have LOVED the scarecrow display- thank you Ferrells. We love you guys so much.

Caden told me he had a good dream last night. He was playing with a little boy with dark hair, but he didn't know his name, but he knows he saw him before...and they were going down the slide and having LOTS of fun chasing each other. hmmmm...I never know what goes on for sure in his little head. I do know I like it when he tells me he has GOOD dreams.

He went to a friend's birthday party this afternoon at the skating rink- and then we went to the dreaded grocery store...hauled everything home, put things away and crashed on the couch.
It's been a long, well, not really long, but more like too short, weekend...but like I was talking to Caden about- we are THANKFUL for being blessed to be able to do all the things we did.
Caden sat in the back seat and said, "yeah, like look at what ya DO have, not what ya DON'T." (he sounded soooo much like Coleman when he said it...I remember Coleman saying those exact words.)

No matter who said it, it's good advice for the week I'd say.

Thanks for checking in on us...
We're so thankful for all of YOU!

Blessings to you all,
Forever Team Larson

Here's our Fall video I finally finished. Caden picked the song, and I added his trick or treat pictures to the end...oh and the pig nose was from the day he had to take something for show and tell that started with the letter Nn. So he took a nose. He said he was the only one who had that idea. :) Imagine that!

Time for a little Catching up...

2009-10-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

I actually started this post a WEEK ago! Where did this week go anyway?!? The days are flying by, and I'm doing my best to 'stay in the moment' and not let my mind wander- THAT is no small task- believe me! This week has been especially busy with parent/teacher conferences coming up next week. This weekend will be full of getting the paper work ready for that... I just dropped Caden off at a birthday party. He was SUPER excited, except he was mad that we got a present for his friend, and NOTHING for HIM! :) "I never get nothing..." haha- poor kid is so deprived. NOT! So I'm started back a week on this update.

Back to last Saturday-
We got up early this morning to travel to Caden's football game. He missed the first game because we had a wedding to go to. Last Saturday it was canceled due to weather, so THIS was his first and last game of the season. (Which is FINE by me! I'm such a baby when it comes to sitting on ice cube bleachers in the cold!) I usually dress Caden WAY too warm, forgetting he is WARM blooded and NOT like his mommy!

This morning he got up and came down the stairs stopping and standing at the bottom...I asked him, "are you even awake?" He said, "yeah, but I'm not ready to go to my game cuz I'm busy." I asked him what he was busy doing besides just standing there, and he said, "I'm on step three of picking my nose."

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

I didn't even ask...I didn't want to know what the steps were, I just told him the first step better be GETTING A KLEENEX! haha he cracks me up. He is SUCH a BOY!
On the way to the game I reminded him, if he got the ball to run to the end zone. He asked, "what's the end zone again?" and then answered himself, "oh yeah, like the goal in soccer...then I fall down and celebrate...right?" :)
Here are a few pics from his game. He didn't get to run to the end zone, but he did make a 'sort of' pass for a touchdown, and got to "hike" the ball a few times too. All in all he thought it was great- that HE was great- and that's what really counts I guess...

Celebrating...

OH and backing up a little...Here are the promised pics of his self hair cut last week. The next morning he asked me, "mom? Can I just go to school and say my mom tried to cut my hair with scissors and it didn't work out so good?" I told him, "well, you COULD say that, but it would be a LIE." He looked so relieved and said, "OKAY! THANKS!" :/ Yeah, we're working on the whole "lying" vs. "I was kidding" thing...another story on that next time! :)

Scott spent the afternoon putting doors on the new garage we put up- our old one was blown down in the storm last summer...the insurance paid for PART of it...why does it always work that way? There goes my hopes for some HOUSE improvements- seems like the shop and garage have taken all of those funds!

Speaking of funds- I don't think I ever mentioned this but you know how SEPT. 21st is a day we don't much like...(three years ago it was diagnosis date for Cman's tumor...the next year it was relapse day, then last year we weren't getting the best news for promising treatments)...well this year on Sept. 21st I thought it SHOULD be a good day- couldn't be any worse than in the past right? I went to work...had a pretty good day, then came home and got the mail, only to open a sizable bill from home health care that wasn't covered by insurance. We're STILL getting bills 9 months after Coleman went to Heaven... insane.

Oh well, they can wait just as long to get paid I figure...that's MY philosophy...but Scott is the type who wants to pay a bill in FULL as soon as we get it. He HATES to owe on ANYthing. He's learning though, we can only do what we can do- and keep plugging away, as much as he hates it. We know there are people out there in a wayyyy deeper hole than we are- stupid cancer...it destroys in so many ways. (although there ARE a lot of blessings too and we NEVA DIV UP!) I hate to think of where we would be if we hadn't been blessed with the benefits our angels held along the way to help us out...there are a lot of families who don't get that extra help.

Okay, enought of that- I'm trying NOT to focus on things I cannot change...on to brighter things...
ummm, I had to sit here for a minute and think- :)

How about this...
I promised Caden we could redo his bedroom before his birthday in December. THIS is going to be a big step for me, as he and Coleman shared a bedroom. That makes it tough to change things, but I always told myself when Caden was ready, I would let him lead the way. It's HIS room too after all. He's still deciding on what he wants his room to be- I wish I was one of those talented designer-type people who could crank out a really cool room for him, but we'll see what we come up with.

Sunday-

Halloween's coming up...Caden has his costume and is super excited about trick or treating. Of course that brings back oh so many memories of Coleman and his costume clues last year. Coleman LOVED Halloween! Caden was watching The Great Pumpkin the other night and I almost had to make him turn it off. (he and Cman watched it at least 200 times together)I didn't think it would get to me like it did, but to hear the parts that Caden and Coleman used to CRACK up at, and then have the toyroom full of silence just really, really got to me. Why is it I tear up the worst when I least expect it? When Charlie Brown says, "I got a rock." I can soooo empathize. Those waves of grief can knock you down flat when you aren't ready for them. WHAM! Okay, I guess I'm back to things I cannot change-

For the past few years a couple of my wonderful friends...who I am lucky enough to also work with...have made a big deal out of Halloween at our house by a visit from The Great Pumpkin. They've snuck to our house in the dark and left treats for the boys from The Great Pumpkin...(I love these ladies!!!) This year they wanted to know what they should do...should they keep the tradition up? Would it bother Scott and I to be faced with the memories? Wouldn't Caden wonder if THIS year The Great Pumpkin didn't make his annual visit? What should they do? Well, as far as bothering me- yes, I'm sad that Coleman isn't going to be enjoying this like in the past, but at the same time yes, I want to keep the tradition going for Caden, for now at least. (I'm sure the day will come where he will find this all very lame!) So, I am taking over their tradition they so lovingly started...and Caden will be getting a CLUE each night of the week of Halloween to follow in finding his GREAT PUMPKIN treasures. Something that continues the tradition, but makes it all a little new for him.

Facing the future while remembering our past- kind of our way of life now.
Coleman would want us to be happy. I hear him singing, "my, oh my what a wonnnerful day." Each time I watch that Zippity DoDah video I find myself smiling, and then when it's over, I wish - well, I don't have to tell you what I wish...I'm just rambling now.
So, I'm ending THIS post here...there will be more to come when I have the rambling itch. Thank you for checking in on us, and as always thank you for your prayers for our family, and the so many families out there in the same boat as us, trying their best to ride the waves.
It saddens my heart to know another family has been pushed into our boat this week-Please keep little Donna's family in your prayers- I've mentioned her on here before...what a smart & witty little girl- our hearts broke all over again when we learned of her passing this week.
It makes you wonder when it will stop.
NOT right- it's just not right.

Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com

P.S. I wanted to say a BIG thank you to everyone who voted for the University of Iowa's Children's Hospital to win the game room give away- THEY WON A BRAND SPANKIN' NEW $10,000 game room!!!! WooHoo! Couldn't have done it without those votes- THANK YOU!!!!

Also a heads-up: mark your calendars if you'd like to be a part of Team Larson for the Curesearch walk next year- the date...May 1st. Place: Blank Park Zoo! Last year's walk was so amazing~we'd love to have you join us in May... I still can't believe the amount of money we raised last year! Caden is going to help plan our shirts for next year, so THAT should be interesting!
Team Larson...NEVA DIV UP!

p.s. one of Coleman's lessons from last year- and I can still hear him say it..."never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker!" Such a smart boy! :)

A Year Ago in the NY Hospital...Coleman chatting with Daddy

2009-10-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

Here is that voice we miss so much-
Cman talking to daddy about his "nutty monkey" he ordered for lunch- while twirling his bunny's ribbon...he asks about how "tay-der Dale" (Caden Dale) is feeling...and that he's going to bring him some cereal...always thinking of his brother!

Pics of Caden's self hair cut coming soon! :)

Change...

2009-10-10T23:23:00.000-07:00

Well, as I said on Coleman's carepage, things always have a way of changing, whether we like it or not, it's part of life...
Change is sometimes difficult, but not always bad...it's what keeps us growing.

So as a part of CHANGE, welcome to our "Neva Div Up" blog...
A place where I will document what's been going on with our family in our day to day lives...as we face our future, but always carry our past with us in our hearts.

I'm sure I'll have a lot to learn as I go along in the blogging world, but you're welcomed to come along for the ride. It won't be any different from the carepage really, I'll ramble on and on. :) ONLY NOW I can add pics to the post!
"Yay" for change in that aspect I guess. Oh and you can 'subscribe' to the blog and actually get updates when I post! (Something carepages seems to be having trouble with lately apparently.)

We've "met" so many new friends through the carepage, and are forever grateful to each of you for following our journey throughout Coleman's battle...We're forever grateful for all of the messages of support...they helped and continue to help us more than you will ever know.

Who knows what our future holds? After I typed that I realized it was a silly question...God does! I have no idea what lies ahead, but I do know change will be part of it... that's a given. We have no control over it, but we can control how we respond to it...and let God do the rest.

Soooo, we are carrying on the "Neva Div Up" from Coleman and pushing on...
Thanks for being a part of our ~~craziness~~ TEAM!!!

Testing to see if I can add a picture...

YES!!!

Oh and Go Hawks! :)