I said in the last update I’d do a St. Patrick’s Day post- so here goes…
Someone who is newer to Coleman’s carepage may not know that St. Patrick’s Day was always a favorite of Coleman’s and Caden’s….Coleman considered it his “lucky day”- for many reasons. His favorite color was GREEN, so he pretty much felt the day was ALLLLL about him when he’d see everyone wearing HIS favorite color! It held some significance in his journey- with his stem cell transplant being done ON St. Patrick’s day after having to be delayed…(we considered it a lucky twist in fate.)
Also one of the boys-(isn’t it terrible I can’t remember which one now-but I think it was Coleman) had his hernia surgery done ON St. Patrick’s day by Dr. Irish. What a coincidence. (Oh-by the way- they both had hernia surgeries by Dr. Irish- I just can’t remember which one had it ON St. Patrick’s day!)
Anyway- Caden and Coleman loved to set traps for the leprechauns and try to trick them to find their pot of gold. They’d have so much fun with the whole thing. I’d spread gold glitter all around their traps- and be ducking under and tripping over their booby traps the entire night before!
Caden kept the tradition going yesterday when he set his own leprechaun trap…but he had to be quick about it, as he and I didn’t get home until past his bedtime that night, so he threw this together before getting into his jammies.
He only got his finger caught in the mousetrap ONCE while getting it all set up! :)
He was up by 6:00 the next morning and was SO excited to find a note from the leprechaun, along with some special treats-
He carried around the green piece of fabric that was stuck in the mousetrap, but was convinced it was from the leprechaun's PANTS and not his jacket! He kept saying he needed to save the "evidence" to show grandma!
(Thank goodness for our stash of treats I’ve picked up here and there, as I really didn’t have time to go get him anything!) I TRULY don’t know WHAT the leprechaun was thinking when he left this little horn…You would have thought when he looked at the package and it said, “INCREDIBLY LOUD” and “FOR OUTDOOR USE ONLY” that would have been a big clue to leave it in the leprechaun store.
See that little hole you blow into? Yeah- the MEGA BLAST- is MEGA LOUUUUD!!!
It must have been a weak moment…but he KNEW Caden would love the thing! :) OH and also a whoopee cushion…what is it that boys love about those?!? It’s just so great to hear him giggle, after he’s been feeling a little blue lately. He really did have a fun day!
Here are some pics from Caden’s special day of Green…
Drinking his green leprechaun milk-
He asked me if we could send something to Coleman in Heaven, so while he was in school I got him some balloons to release when he got home…He decided to keep one for his bedroom, and let the others go. Then he blew his horn VERY loudly so Cman could hear it. Check out how much snow has melted- the past couple of days have been in the 50’s and gorgeous! Now they’re talking snow again this weekend! UGG- at least we know it won’t stick around too long?!?
Oh- I also wanted to share this little ditty I made for Cade….he’s only watched it about a hundred times now! He loves it! I showed it to Scott, and he didn’t even realize it was Caden until the close up- and then he cracked up. You’ll have to follow the link, I can’t seem to embed it…but it’s worth clicking on! :)
He has watched it over and over and keeps clicking replay, so the music is stuck in my head and driving me CRRRRRAZY! :)
Here are some pics of Cman looking through the clover patch one year for a four leaf clover- then I remember he picked a bunch and pretended to EAT them just to laugh at me freaking out!
And a video from March 2008…
*****************************
Here is a song I wanted to share by David M Bailey called “Her Favorite Color was Green.” I changed the word HER to HIS because it reminded me so much of Coleman…
HIS FAVORITE COLOR WAS GREEN
His favorite color was green,
And that’s about all that I know.
Except that he knew the Lord loved him…
His Bible told him so.
He swam in an ocean of laughter.
He danced in a desert of grace.
The way that he loved those around him,
was written all over his face.
I was there, the evening that he left us.
I heard every tear that was shed.
I wanted to ask God the reason,
But I asked him “what now” instead.
“What now God would you have us say?”
“What now God would you have us do?”
“Wasn’t it clear he was faithful?”
“Wasn’t that enough for you?””
And God said…
“How could you ask such a question”
“Surely the answer is clear.”
“Do I have to paint you a picture?”
“Is it not enough that I’m here?”
I said, “God, that’s not what I meant…
He was just too young to die.”
God said,
“I know what you mean…
Remember… I watched my son cry.”
I said “Yes, but at least your boy is with you now.”
He said “Right, and now so is he.”
“I set him a place at my table… and you should see that boy eat.”
“Oh in fact, I wish you could see him smiling.”
“Then you’d know… he feels right at home.”
“He’s been telling the angels about you.”
“So you won’t feel alone.”
His favorite color was green.
That’s my favorite too.
He’s already sliding down rainbows…
Right between yellow and blue.
****************************************************
In the next post, we’ll take some pics of our new CureSearchwalk tshirts Caden FINALLY finished designing. He only changed his mind about 423 times he said. haha
I tried to sway his mind, but he kept reminding me I PROMISED HE could be in charge of them, so they’re HIS little project. He decided he wanted the number ONE on them instead of 22. (Go figure- it’s his dirt bike number)…So the back of the shirts NOW say, “Neva Div Up! 1 child at a time”
We’ll put a pic with ordering info in the next post…
AND if you had some trouble voting for the VanWey video I posted about last time…go to www.familydanceoff.com Register and then vote for the VanWeys- (I think their video is on pg 15 or 16) The video is called FTK (for the kids) VanWey Family Video. This would really help the IOWA CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL IN IOWA CITY….THANKS FOR YOUR VOTE & YOUR HELP!!!!
Okay, That’s it for now…
Caden is probably going to be sharing some BIG news about his FIRST TOOTH coming out very, very soon! (his bottom front two are getting loose!) Yikes- he’s getting bigger! Not sure if I’m really, really sad he’s growing so fast, OR really, really happy that he has the chance to… Just thanking God for ALL of my blessings…included all of you.
THANK YOU for taking the time to leave us a message. Someone asked me if we even read them- YES, of course we do- each and every one! You have NO IDEA how much they lift us on the tough days. It really does mean a lot to us that so many of you still take the time to let us know you continue checking in with us. I wish I had the time to look up everyone’s email who leaves a message- unfortunately it’s impossible to sift through the names to find the email that goes with it. If you’d like a reply, send an email…either way, we thank you!
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com
Where to begin? It’s been a while since I’ve updated…so I have a feeling this will be a more than one part post. Just warning you…we’ll see! We’ve been keeping busy as usual, and some days, “moments” are better than others. I could blame it on the weather (it’s been really gray and muddy lately) but I think the “funk” we find ourselves in would come and go no matter what the weather. Some warm sunshine sure would be nice though! It’s a good thing God is helping us along no matter what the weather outside…
Here are some pics of the snow- it has melted a LOT since I took these- YAY!
We did get another day of sledding in before the warm up…and Caden and I are no longer playing “Ice Road Truckers” on the way to school each morning! I was getting a little tired of that game anyway! :)
Now we’re just trying to make our way through the mud, and keep sucking water out of the basement until it’s dried up and GREEN again!
Let’s see…Caden has been a social butterfly lately. He had four birthday parties to go to in two weekends, a music carnival last Saturday night and he was in a talent show at school! I wasn’t able to go to his talent show, as it was the same time as the Manners Tea Party in my classroom, but Scott went and said he was a hoot. Imagine that! He sang the song “Big Green Tractor” with a little girl in his class- one of his THREE girlfriends now- and I asked him if he remembered all of the words. He said, “well, I pretty much just stuck two fingers in my pocket and stared into her eyes and hummed.”
Scott asked him, “wow, you have 3 girlfriends? How DO you handle it?” He answered, “watch and learn my fuzzy friend!” He cracks us up.
Here are a few pics of Eli’s birthday party in DesMoines… (cp: elirhorn) Caden had a blast. Eli and the Horns are very special to our family. We love you guys!
Caden’s been having some difficulty at school the past couple of weeks…his teacher says he has a lot of “aches and pains” that move from his tummy, to his toe, to his hip, his leg, his head, finger, etc. and he also “lost his voice” for an hour or so before it miraculously returned after he got a drink of water. He loves the school nurse, so not sure if he’s trying to make a trip to the office just to see her or what it is. He’s been having ‘emotional /teary’ moments and keeps complaining of ‘aches’…but they move…one second it will be a headache and then a tummy ache and then he can’t remember where. We’ve tried to talk to him about what’s going on, but his stories change all the time- he ends up in tears and doesn’t want to talk about it…but wants us to know that sometimes it’s hard to breathe too.
His teacher says once he gets involved in an activity he seems to forget all about his physical aches. I’m wondering if I need to get him back into counseling…we’ll talk again to his teacher tomorrow at his conference, so maybe we’ll learn more after that. Physically there doesn’t seem to be a thing wrong with him, but we may take him to the doctor just to ease HIS mind that he’s not sick.
A couple of weeks ago we went out for supper and he was over playing the video games when a couple of girls we didn’t know came up and asked him if he missed Coleman. He said he didn’t answer and they just kept asking until one said, “be quiet or you’ll make him sad!” I asked him, “DID it make you sad?” and he said, “no, my eyes just got a little burny, but they get burny lotsa times…. not cuz I’m sad.” I asked him if kids ask him a lot about Coleman and he said, “WHAT DO YOU THINK???” I asked, “well what do you say?” He told me he tells them he’s HAPPY Coleman died. That really shocked me! I asked him why in the world he would say that- and he said, “well, cuz then he don’t have to go through all-a the stuff what he kept havin to do. Now he don’t have no more pain… so I’m happy he died.”
*sigh*
I explained that I too was glad Coleman didn’t have any more pain, but that I still miss him, and wish he didn’t die. Caden answered, “yeah, me too. I wish he never got cancer.”
I sometimes forget all Caden has witnessed in his short lifetime. It was one thing for Coleman to have to go through it all, and it was so hard for US as adults to witness, and not be able to change the situation, but Caden was right there for almost everything, and I worry about the lasting effects on him sometimes. At the time I felt it was important for us to all be together as a family- as a TEAM- but did we make the right decision to let him be a part of every step until the very end? Should we have shielded him from some of the procedures or hospital time? I don’t know the answer. All I know is I pray for God to help Caden along through his journey without his twin. He and Coleman were connected in a way I’ve never witnessed…so I guess we should probably expect that he’ll have some rough days too. He’s seemed to handle everything so well, but little by little I think as time goes on, there will be much for him to process as he tries to figure things out. Heck why should HE be any different than the rest of us? I have my good and bad days too, and find it hard to put into words…I can imagine it’s hard for him to explain at six.
One night he was watching the History channel with Scott and started asking about presidents…how did all of the presidents die? Did they all get shot? Did some of them die of cancer? Why do people get cancer? Why didn’t we just have the doctors take Coleman’s out again? Why couldn’t the doctors give him medicine to make it better? Etc. etc. Scott did a great job of answering his questions.
He asked me one day, “Mommy? When people die, do they all breathe like Coleman did?” and then sat there gasping loudly. Scott asked him if he thinks about Coleman a lot, and he said, “Oh yeah, BIG TIME…More than you will EVER know.”
His questions are difficult- but we do our best to answer them honestly, and reassure him that he is loved, and we are here for him. I’m praying his “aches” he’s been having at school will subside and he can enjoy his time with his friends and learning.
He’s all signed up for soccer, so that will start again soon…and of course T-ball to follow. I’m really looking forward to being home with him this summer- even though we have a lot of school days to make up- summer WILL come eventually, and he’s already planning a “camouflage party” where he wants to invite “9 or 5” friends over to dress up in camo and have a squirt gun fight & go on a treasure hunt.
Speaking of school, I’m on spring break this week, but Caden has school all week. My school has been going a half hour longer each day until April 22nd to make up three days of school. My class hasn’t really even noticed the extra half hour and it’s been nice to fit in some lessons we missed out on with all of the snow days. Caden still gets out about a week earlier than I do for summer vacation. With the economy being tough all over, his elementary school is in danger of closing…which we’re praying doesn’t happen. Their school wants to go from three buildings to two. Scott has been attending school board meetings and trying to help keep the elementary open, but time will tell. It’s where Scott went to school, and only a mile from our house. Caden also attends daycare there and only has to walk across the hall to Kindergarten. If it closes, and he has to be bused to another town, that will mean we’ll have to find different daycare too, as it would be way out of the way for me to drop him off each morning and pick him up. All of the talk and wonder has been stressing Caden out too I think. He loves his school AND his daycare! Personally, I would love to open enroll him and take him to school with me, but it would mean leaving his friends, and Scott really wants him to stay in this school system, so we’ll have to see how it all turns out. Again, we’re confident God will put Caden right where He wants him to be.
A couple of funnies before I mention all of the business I want to-
One morning when I was drying my hair, I turned my head and was hit SMACK in the nose with a nerf football. There stood Caden with an “UT OH!” look on his face saying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I was aiming for the wall!!!” ugg. I told him to sit on the stool and think about what he just did while I finished drying my hair, (and the tears the blow brought to my eyes!) When I turned the hair dryer off, I asked him to give me his WORD he would never do that again…he said, “well….. I don’t know what the word is, but yeah, you can have it.”
One night he asked for a drink of juice. As I was pouring it he was looking in the fridge and asked, “are you ever gonna drink that crayola stuff or what?” I was confused and wondered what in the heck he was talking about until he said, “you know…that brown bottle of beer what you got at Christmas?” Then I realized he meant KAHLUA!
Back to the manners tea party I mentioned we had in my classroom. It was so much fun- the kids had been studying Amazing Americans and good character. We read many biographies of people in history, and the kids wrote their own autobiography on their life- talking about how THEY are Amazing Americans too. For the end of the unit, they’d earned punches on an invitation ticket for a Manners Tea Party. They dressed in their best- some boys wore ties, (one little guy told me he HAD a suit he wore to his grandma’s funeral, but his mom took it back haha) and girls dressed in their fanciest dresses (gotta love my little cancer survivor who said there was NO WAY I was going to get her to wear a dress to school, but donned her HARD ROCK café jean jacket with pride! She makes me smile!) We ate finger sandwiches, mini muffins, cookies, and fruit, and drank juice they got to pour into their tea cups from fancy tea pots. We danced the waltz and the tango- one little boy is convinced he and I would win Dancing with the Stars if we entered. It was a fun day to end our unit. THIS is a book that was donated to my school library with a sticker inside the cover in memory of Coleman- (Thank you to the Ghetting family!) I read to my class. It talks about how everyone has an invisible bucket they carry around to keep their good feelings about themselves in. We talked about how you can fill someone’s bucket. It also talked about how some people try to dip out of someone else’s bucket to make themselves feel better- we discussed how none of us want to be a bucket-dipper! One little girl wrote… “A friend is someone who fills my bucket with love.” Have I mentioned I LOVE my job? Most days anyway! :) So if you have kids or grandkids- this would be a great book I’d recommend to anyone! I ordered a copy for Caden.
***********************************************************************
Well, now down to business…
I know I’m always asking our carepage people for help, and you’ve all been so wonderful and supportive throughout our family’s journey. We want you to know how much it has meant AND continues to mean to us. I have a couple of requests to throw out there once again, and THANK YOU in advance for all of our angels here on Earth!
The first is a request for an on-line vote…
Little Mikayla VanWey’s family has made a dance video and is trying to win a dance contest that will benefit the Iowa City Children’s Hospital where Coleman was treated. Sorry Spoonies, I voted for you too, but have to pull for our home-state hospital on this one! :) Here’s how YOU can help. Go to
www.familydanceoff.com
and vote for the VanWeys video. Simple as that. Doesn’t cost a dime, but every vote counts and could make a big difference to a hospital we called “home” for so long. I think you can vote every day through Friday.
Here’s a little video Coleman made for Mikayla while we were in New York. I’m not sure if I ever sent it- as it was hard to understand him…he was trying to tell Mikayla not to “twy” (cry) because she looked pretty no matter how much hair she had. Then he went into “a snake wif a belly ache”…not sure what that was all about- something only he and Caden understood I think! Anyway- a vote for the VanWey’s video would really mean a lot to us. THANKS for taking the time!
Also wanted to mention the SKATE-A-THON in memory of Coleman on March 27th in Gowrie…put on by the Elkhorn Eagle 4Hers. Kids will be skating in time slots, and we’re planning to use the proceeds toward a Coleman Scott Larson scholarship for the school, and part toward the CureSearch walk coming up…Speaking of the walk…Here is the info again…
Visit our page at: Curesearch Walk- TEAM LARSON PAGE.
I think we’re way behind in raising money compared to where we were last year…but we’re doing our best. You do not need to be present to join or donate to our team, but we’d love to have you join us if possible. Again, Caden is working on designing the shirts- and has come up with LOTS of ideas… for SOME reason is determined to include the number 22 on the shirt somewhere??? Not sure his reasoning on that, but I told him that was okay- HE was in charge of the shirts. He’s excited about it! He’s also asked if we could have a garage sale, and he would be willing to sell his toys to make money for the kids with cancer. I love his giving heart.
Speaking of hearts- my friends and I got the chance to go to a screening of the movie Letters to God last night. The movie is inspired by Tyler Doughtie…a little boy who had medulloblastoma like Coleman. There were so many times during the movie that it reminded me so much of Coleman. From the first scene with the back of the little boy’s head- with the scar running down his bald head and neck- I was reminded of how many times my lips kissed Coleman’s scar and prayed it would one day be covered by a full head of hair…but most of all the movie reminded me of Coleman’s faith in “Dod”. Coleman talked to God so many times that brought tears to my eyes- praying for a crying baby in the room next to ours in the hospital, thanking God for people being so nice to him, and repeating time and time again throughout his journey how he KNEW Jesus was going to help him.
We should ALL have the faith of a child.
Matthew 18: 2-4 “He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
I was also reminded that when you pray- God doesn’t require you to use big words- or find the need for you to be scripted…Coleman talked to “Dod” like he was talking to a friend. He kept it simple and conversational.
One of the lines in the movie was “Everything I touch turns to dust. I can’t hold on to anything.” Oh how I have felt like that so many times! But it went on to talk about clasping your hands together and entwining your fingers in prayer- then nothing can slip through.
There have been times I have been on my knees- desperately asking for things to be different. There have been so many times I have felt NOTHING was in my control, and I was right. GOD is the only way I have been able to get up off the floor. He has listened to every cry I’ve whimpered to Him. He hasn’t always answered me in the way I wanted…BUT He has never left me, and He’s shown me that there is so much I have to be grateful for. PLEASE go see this movie if you can. It comes out in theaters April 9th…the message is one that everyone needs to hear. Some people have told me they don’t want to see it- it would be too sad, but the message is one of HOPE and FAITH. Yes, you may cry a tear or two, but I promise it will touch your heart. THANK you to BigFinishFilms for bringing the screening to DesMoines so we could watch it with people who mean so much to us…and God bless the Doughtie Family for sharing Tyler’s faith. Also check out: www.letterstogodthemovie.com
Here’s a preview of the movie…
And a few of the funny faces of the Cman- oh how I miss that scrunched up face he’d do! We’re so blessed God chose US to be his family.
Until next time, thank you so much for checking in on us- for your support and your continued prayers- Thank you for filling our buckets and may yours be filled in return!
One day there WILL be a cure…NEVA DIV UP.
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
teamlarson1@gmail.com
We went on a family Valentine Date Saturday night. On the way I said, “How lucky am I to get to spend Valentine’s Day with my two favorite guys in the world?” Caden piped up from the back of the van, “you mean THREE mom,” And was pointing UP when I turned around. “You’re right Cade- I meant three.” Coleman is with us always…oh what I would have given to have had all four of us like it used to be.
We went to Caden’s pick of restaurant. The kid picks a place based on what games they have for him to play while we wait! I always make him sit on Scott’s side of the booth because he canNOT sit still while he eats, and the constant bumping drives me nuts (don’t get me wrong, I LOVE him just the way he is, I just love to watch him bounce from the OTHER side of the booth! Haha) The restaurant was packed, but good food, so I’m not complaining. THEN it was off to Target. On the way THIS song came on, and Caden got teary eyed…when I asked him what was wrong, again, he pointed UP. I knew he was thinking of this video- he and Coleman loved this song-
It breaks my heart when there is nothing I can do to help him, but reassure him he is loved, and that Coleman is watching over him and will always be with him. We try so hard to go on, there are just times for all of us, the hole is so huge. The hardest part for me is wanting to “fix it” but knowing I can’t. We just rely on God to bring us peace when we’re in that moment of missing Coleman so much it makes our hearts physically ache.
Cade perked up a little once we got to Target and we told him he could pick out a Valentine present. He hadn’t been shopping since before Christmas, so he was anxious to use one of his gift cards and finally picked out a new Wii game- oh and a Valentine stuffed kitten he wanted to take to his ‘special friend’ Riley at church. He said, “I saw her in the hall at school and I told her I was gonna get her a Valentine, but she said, “no time- gotta run!” haha He was very excited to give the kitten to Riley- she’s still his ‘special friend’. He was so tired when we got up to go to church- and said it was ALL our fault for keeping him up so late the night before. (we were home by 9:00) “You guys made me stay out too late! We didn’t get home til about a hundred five o’clock!” (guess we’ll work on telling time soon!) He was very grouchy yesterday morning and didn’t want to wear what I laid out for him. He said, “I don’t wanna wear this RED sweater! Red don’t go with brown shoes mom!” He has never ONCE cared what he was wearing- so I told him to wear his black church shoes instead. After arguing back and forth I finally figured out he wanted to wear his tan work boots instead! Lol so he did…I guess those went just FINE with red!
Today he and I are home with- you guessed it, ANOTHER no school day because of the blowing snow- wow has this winter been brutal. Here's Mr. Fashion-all decked out in his “gear” for the day…
I’ve lost track, but I think we have at least 11 days to make up. It could be 12 who knows by now?!? I’m not sure how they’re going to do it yet- but there’s a pretty good chance our summer vacation will be cut short this year. We’re seriously running out of places to pile the snow- and wow is it going to be a mess when it starts to melt. These were taken yesterday...
Oh well, Caden and I have enjoyed our days off together. The last two we had he wanted to make banana bread. He’d start to help, then take off for the toy room again. When I’d call him back out he said, “why do ya need me out here mom? You only need me for one important part- to lick the bowl!” We tried a new recipe (THANKS NANCY H for passing it along!) It was delicious!!! I’ll add the recipe at the end of the update if anyone wants to give it a try… (yeah, that back loaf didn’t come out of the pan so good! So we get zero points on presentation, Haha- still, it was YUMMY!)
Remember last post when I was talking about the “bubble wrap” comment from Caden? Well, here’s his latest…I was getting out of the shower one day and had a towel wrapped around my wet head. He saw me and so innocently said, “you kinda look like an eagle mom.” I said, “oh, you mean because I look bald?” He said, “No……your face.” And he walked away. I stood there looking in the mirror picturing this:
and wondering, “do I need a brow lift???” lol Having kids does wonders for your self- image! :)
He told me one day, “mom? You’re cooler than the ‘flit side of my pillow’- THAT’S RIGHT!” lol I explained to him it was “flip side” of the pillow. I’m working on a new video for him to the Uncle Kracker song “Smile”…every time the song comes on in the van, he and I crank it and jam! A few people have mentioned how it’s hard to watch our videos without Coleman in them…it’s hard for me to MAKE them without him in them too, but I do it for Cade.
OH- I need to mention- the Dance Marathon in Iowa City a couple of weekends ago raised…$1,058,068.16!!!!
FTK- FOR THE KIDS! How awesome is that?!? All raised by AMAZING college students. Wow!!! They continue to make such a HUGE difference in the lives of so many kids fighting and families like ours. THANK YOU!!!!!
In our little neck of the woods here, a local 4H group Elkhorn Eagles (kids from ages 10- 15 yrs old) have come up with an idea to raise money for Coleman’s Neva Div Up Foundation. They’re putting on a 24 hr SKATE marathon @the end of March…we were approached with the idea and so touched that they would do this to help raise money. Their goal is to raise $2500. A BIG BIG thanks to our community for continuing to join us in the fight against Childhood Cancer! We’re so blessed to live here- (even with all the snow!) The people who have always been behind us continue to touch our hearts.
Speaking of support in the fight we have more people joining our team for the CureSearch walk coming up May 1st. I promised some people I’d post the info again if you’re interested in donating to our team. You don’t have to be present to join our team roster, but we’d love to see you if you can make it! Click here to get started:
THANK YOU for the donations- it means so much to us!!!
Well, Caden has been playing his Winter Olympics on the Wii, but wants to play outSIDE in the snow again- so better go get us bundled up…might as well enjoy it while it’s here. There may ACTUALLY be a day when it melts away??? THINK GREEN!
Until next time,
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
Thanks for the edit Shelley H! :)
SNOW DAY BANANA BREAD
Original Recipe Yield 4 - 7x3 inch loaves
Ingredients
1/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4 cup butter
3 cups white sugar
3 eggs
6 very ripe bananas, mashed
1 (16 ounce) container sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons baking soda
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
Directions
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease four 7x3 inch loaf pans. In a small bowl, stir together 1/4 cup white sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Dust pans lightly with cinnamon and sugar mixture.
In a large bowl, cream butter and 3 cups sugar. Mix in eggs, mashed bananas, sour cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Mix in salt, baking soda and flour. Stir in nuts. Divide into prepared pans.
Bake for 1 hour, until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
NOTES:
Make two 7 1/2 x 9 loaves do 325 degrees for 1 hr 10 min. cook 4 loaves at 325 1 hour.
Making a crumbly topping is a MUST. for two loaves: ~ 1/2 cup packed brown sugar ~ 1/2 cup all-purpose flour ~ 2 or 3 tablespoons butter or margarine ~ 1 teaspoon cinnamon ~ 1/3 cup chopped walnuts or pecans. Microwave butter till soft. Mixed ingredients with a fork until crumbly, spoon over loaves before putting it in the oven.
Hand-mixing in the flour creates a denser, more bread-like consistency.
Before I start, I have to say: THANKS FOR THE SWEATSHIRT EDDY FAMILY- CADEN LOVES IT!!!
Well, I know, It’s been a while since an update on here…
It’s not that I haven’t had a lot to say- I always have things to say… I guess it’s just getting myself to sit down and type it all out. January’s been a LONG month- we’ve had our hard days emotionally, but do our best to stay positive…this month has been full of lots and lots of SNOW! Scott’s been scooping and moving snow, but we’re running out of places to put it!
Here are a few pics-
I am up to 8 snow days and counting that need to be made up at one point or another…my school just sent out a survey of what we’d like to do to make up the days- including SATURDAY SCHOOL- ummm not sure I’ll be voting for that one, but time will tell how many more days we miss, and how everyone votes. We still have February and March to get through- so who knows if we’ll have days added to that. It could make for a short summer vacation. Oh well…
Caden and I have really enjoyed our snow days together- We played games, did a LITTLE bit of cleaning-we got the Christmas tree down and put away at least- he built forts with lots and lots of “boobie traps”, we did a little baking, and He’s done a lot of talking about Coleman…I found him one of the days sitting on his bed and looking through scrap books. He asked if I wanted to come in and look with him. It amazes me the details he remembers and things he has no recollection of. He really misses his other half. We have so many wonderful memories of Coleman-One thing’s for sure- Cman will always be a part of our hearts- forever. Oh do we miss him. Words just cannot explain. There are some days where the numbness your brain puts you in to protect yourself starts to fade, and the pain rises again…it can be a song, a commercial, a smell, a picture, a food, a book, or it doesn’t have to be anything- its just because- that brings the hurt back full force. We know Coleman is safe in Heaven…we just miss him.
Here’s an old video of one of his favorite songs- God, I mean “Dod” must be a cowboy (tow-boe-wee) at heart…Our pastor came to Iowa City to visit and sang this to the boys before Coleman’s stem cell transplant. Coleman loved this song from that point on…oh how I miss his singing. It does make me smile when I watch this though…what a gift he was.
We’re disappointed we won’t be able to make it to this year’s Dance Marathon in Iowa City. We have something else that weekend that we can’t miss…but we’ll be there in spirit! THANK YOU so much to these college students and all they do to help families like ours. They recently sent us a stone in memory of Coleman…THANK YOU to all who participate in this wonderful event~ Coleman loved ALL of the “Dance May-wah-fonn” people! We wish we could be there with you all this year.
Speaking of events- we have our 2nd annual Curesearch walk coming up May 1st. Last year Team Larson ended up raising over $20,000 when all was said and done, thanks to so many wonderful donators! AMAZING!!! I’m not sure we’ll be able to come anywhere close to that this year, but every single dollar gets us that much closer to a CURE- we’ve come to know too many kids who have been diagnosed, continue to fight, or went to Heaven way too early because of cancer…soooo, if you want to be a part of our team- (you don’t have to be there to actually be on our team roster) or if you’d be willing to make a donation, we’d sure appreciate ANY amount…here’s the link we hope you’ll check out…
I’ll be posting more info as the walk gets closer. Caden is in charge of designing our team shirts this year. I thought maybe he’d like the responsibility of that- so we’ll see what he comes up with!
We can’t THANK YOU enough for helping us out!!!
A couple of funny stories about Caden- (there are sooo many to choose from!)
One day when we got out of school early because of the heavy snow, I went to pick him up at daycare…They were outside playing on the snow mountain and taking turns sledding down a hill. He was having a blast! I went inside and got his bookbag and he followed me to the van. As he was getting ready to climb in his door, he YELLED out to his friends, “BYE YA PuSSSS-AYS!” I stood there for a minute- and thought I HAD to have heard him wrong, until he yelled it again- “I SAID- BYE YA PUUH-SAYS!” I said, “CADEN! GET IN THE VAN! GET IN THE VAN!!!” He said, “why?” I shut the door and told him, “you can NOT say that to people! It’s a NAUGHTY word!” He had no idea….yikes. Luckily, I don’t think anyone heard him. *whew*
Another funny- well not for me…but what the heck- I’ll share it…. I fell on the icy steps one morning on my way to work and got a HUGE bruise on my backside to show for it. It was a nasty one…
Caden was looking at it, and so innocently said, “mom? Sometimes your butt looks like it gots bubble wrap on it.” WHAT?!?! ARRRGGG!!! I started laughing- Guess I’d better find a good work out tape with some exercises for my back side! Hahahaha Kids are so honest!
He’s a character- that’s for sure…and I thank God for him every day! He wants a Mohawk so badly, but I keep telling him no…I did let him have one for about an hour one night before I gave him a haircut- but you should have seen his attitude while he looked in the mirror- he really thought he was one tough dude. After the pics- I buzzed it off! I know, I know, mean mommy.
He’s growing like a weed, and has changed so much since he started school. One thing that hasn’t changed is how big his heart is. He was very animate about helping the people of Haiti, and kept wanting to donate money out of his piggy bank every time a commercial came on about it.
The night after Christmas I found this under the tree, still in the box…
I asked Caden about it the next morning. I thought maybe he had forgot it was there- but he said he thought Santa brought that one for Coleman. He was leaving it there and didn’t want to open it. *sigh*
I can see why he said that, it WAS something Coleman would have loved, and I don’t know WHAT Santa was thinking when he brought that one. I finally convinced Caden to open it, but he really hasn’t played with it much.
He got his first report card with all good marks except tying his shoe. He says he’s a FAILURE- and was the ONLY one in his class who couldn’t tie. I told him I didn’t believe he was the ONLY one, and he cried, “well- there was maybe five… or three, but anyways- I FAILED!!!” We’ll have to practice more I guess.
Oh- another thing he’s been in to lately…is Lily the Bear. My class has been following a bear in Ely, MN that has a live web cam in the den. The mother black bear, Lily had a baby bear last Friday. You can hear the bear nursing and everything. It’s pretty cool if you’d like to check it out…
So that’s a little of what’s been going on around here lately….I know, not too exciting…
Here’s a video I made for Caden on New Year’s Day. This song makes me tear up every time I hear it for some reason…I think I’m going to start a new tradition and make a New Year’s video each year. Here’s our first:
We continue to pray for all of the families missing their kids- and all the little warriors still battling.
Thanks for checking in on us- your messages mean a lot to us.
Until next time,
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
Oh and on our snow days I was messing around with editing a few old pics…here are some I came up with. I’d like to turn some of these into post cards so I’ll have to do some checking on that…but thought I’d share here-
And a quote I ran across I liked:
"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us;
What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."
~Albert Pike
Thank you for the messages of support- with tomorrow (the 5th) being the 1st anniversary of Coleman winning his fight and going to Heaven, I know people are wondering how we’re doing. I look back at the pictures of this time last year and just remember what a painful place we were in at that point.
I think about that night we drove home from Hospice- numb-
After walking in the door to a house where time stood still = Christmas presents still unwrapped- toys all over the floor- morphine bottles- medicine galore scattering the counter…his shoes laying there- Coleman’s things all around me- I hit the floor…I sobbed from the deepest part of me, like I’d never sobbed before- all that came out was a choked squeak, “I want him back…I WANT HIM BACK!” I sobbed until I could no longer breathe. I laid there on the floor until I had no tears left- my tear cup was empty…I pulled myself into our chair and sat and watched the sun come up…wondering how it could be possible that time could go on, when our whole world just ended.
How could I be saying I wanted him back, when two hours before I was telling him it was okay to go…that he could stop fighting so hard, that we’d be okay- we promised him. But at that moment, feeling the emptiness, I changed my mind…What was I thinking??? HOW were we going to do this? How was Caden ever, EVER going to make it without Coleman? How were WE going to be okay?
I typed out a big long update- reliving those last days- but decided to save it for my personal journal…because I’ve always wanted THIS page- Coleman’s page- to be about HOPE…something HE taught us. NEVA DIV UP. As painful as those memories are, we try our best to focus on the good times- the funny times- the love we shared in our time together…and that love goes on.
This past year has taught us so much…we’ve been to the bottom of the canyon. We’ve spent the last year doing our best to walk the long winding road up. It hasn’t been easy- sometimes we slip back down, but along the way we’ve managed to smile here and there- something we learned from Coleman…to make the most of what you’re given- even if it is “a buncha BULLSH!T”. Scott and I told Coleman we would never give up…that we’d be okay, and we’re working on it…one day at a time, and sometimes moment by moment. Caden has shown us the way…being so brave and keeping us smiling. He tells me HE misses Coleman more than anyone, and I always agree with him. I let him have that- they were twins- best friends- and truly the only friend either one had for so long.
Caden doesn’t know it has been a year tomorrow- I figured why tell him? We can’t let balloons go- the temp is WAYYYY too cold…we can’t visit the cemetery…the entrances are blocked with snow banks….but we celebrate Coleman’s life every day in one way or another, so I’ve avoided telling Caden what tomorrow marks. I don’t know if that’s the right decision, but it’s the one we made. Caden HAS been a little “down” the past couple of days- so it makes me wonder if he senses it…or maybe I’m just reading too much into things. Who knows….they always did have a bond we could never understand, so I don’t know.
We’ve had to learn to deal with our pain…We WILL be okay, it’s just hard to express how VERY much we miss him…and I know people say THIS day- THIS week -will be hard, but truly I don’t think it will be any harder than the days we’ve managed to get through so far, and the days ahead where I know it will hit us again like a ton of bricks. It’s a road we’re still walking, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see the top, until we are reunited with him again, but onward we climb…sometimes sitting down for a rest, but always getting back up- and yes, with one set of footprints sometimes. I promised Caden God would take care of us- and at times it was almost like I was trying to convince myself as much as him, but we’ve held on to that, and He HAS carried us, and continues to. I ask myself "how in the heck did we ever make it a year? I didn't think it was possible, but Coleman knew, "with DOD ALL FINGS ARE POSS-A-BULL!" and he was right, only by the grace of God. The sun continues to come up- and we continue to live, carrying all those lessons our Coleman taught us along with us….and thanking God for our blessings- each and every one of them.
Speaking of blessings, again, I have to say thank you to everyone for your support. We will never be able to express how grateful we are. AND if you’d like to do an act of kindness in honor of Coleman- we’d love to hear about it… For us- it helps to know his spirit lives on, and that he’s remembered. I know tomorrow I’ll once again go through a drive through and pay for the person behind me, just to remember how much he loved doing it…okay- for those who live around here- if you see me driving tomorrow, don’t tailgate me, waiting for me to pull in somewhere! :)
I’m going to repost my entry from last year, and the video from Cman’s celebration of life. A life we continue to celebrate…every day- with HOPE in our hearts. Oh were we blessed to have had this little boy in our lives. I’ll update on our holidays next time…until then-
Blessings to you all,
FOREVER TEAM LARSON
Before I post last year’s entry, here’s a video made by one of our “angels” Maisey…THANK YOU SO MUCH! And yes, the heart of life IS good…
REPOSTED FROM JANUARY 6th, 2009
TEARS OF HOPE…
Today the world may have cried a river of tears for a little boy’s life that ended way too soon, but we believe Heaven is REJOYCING over Coleman’s job well done.
Coleman was an amazing child of God and we were so honored to be chosen as his parents.
He left this world at 10:45 last night- he fought HARD until the very end, not wanting to give up, but finally letting go. He was a warrior and a hero our hearts will forever miss. We had the most glorious five years together- a gift we will never forget.
A quick story. :)
One day Coleman heard someone say they were mad at God. He didn’t say a word, but later came to me with this complete look of disbelief on his face and asked, “mommy? did you hear them say they were mad at DOD? WHY would they say that?” He couldn’t even fathom the thought. Then he raised his little eyebrows and said, “well, I hope they don’t say that in PUB-WIC (public)!” and walked away. He knew there were some things he could not change, but HIS faith never wavered.
Lots of people have mentioned their anger toward God …how can He let this happen when so many people have been praying for Coleman? Why didn’t he answer our prayers?
I just can’t be angry at Our God who sent Coleman to us in the first place. Coleman was a child of God, WE were chosen to be his parents- and how blessed we were. Maybe my feelings will change, but like Coleman, I can’t imagine being angry at God. Would we have loved to have had more time with Coleman? YES! I want him back right now, but I know that’s the selfish part of me talking. I know I will hurt more than I can ever imagine in missing him…and I know I will have MANY days of heartache and anger, but my anger is over the fact we live in a world where we can do so much, but still do not have a cure for this horrific disease. Children are paying the price for that. More on that will come-
I guess what I’m saying is I know for a fact, Coleman would NOT want us to be mad at God. He taught us so much in his time here. His lessons will go on for a very long time. He knew where he came from and he knew where he was going. My heart aches for more time, but I’m SO thankful for the time we got with him, and we know we WILL be with him again. God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want him to…HIS ways are not ours, and that’s hard to accept, but true. It doesn’t mean I don’t question it- it’s hard to understand, but one day we WILL know.
Many people have asked how Caden is doing. Now that’s a long story, but we have assured him that we love him. He is dealing the best way he can- just like us.
I turned my desk Praying Parent calendar today, and thought I’d share what it said…
“We are dependent on God to enable us to raise our child properly, and He will see to it that our child’s life is blessed. One thing I have learned is that I should not try to force my own will on my child in prayer. I have found it is better to pray more along the lines of “Lord show me how to pray for this child. Help me to raise him Your way, and may Your will be done in his life.”
I believe God’s will was done through Coleman. I know it.
Here is one of my favorite pictures of Coleman-
God bless you baby. We love you so much.
Coleman said long ago, "some day I won't need NO more meds or pokes, wight mommy?”
No more sweetie. You are free.
One more story to share…thanks again Nadine.
The Parable of the Twins-
Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, “isn’t it great that we were conceived? Isn’t it great to be alive?”
Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother’s cord that gave them life, they sang for joy, “how great is our Mother’s love, that she shares her own life with us!”
As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing. “what does it mean?” asked the one. “It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end, said the other. “But I don’t want to go”, said the other, “but maybe there is life after birth.” But how can there be?” responded the other one. “We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end.”
And so the one fell into deep despair, saying, “If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It is meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all?” “But there has to be,” protested the other. “How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?”
How you ever seen our mother?” said one. “Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good?”
And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried for joy. For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.
Author Unknown
Blessings to you all,
Nev-va Div up-
Team Larson
And my all time favorite Coleman video…because this was just so him…A story of LOVE...Coleman’s beloved Bunny Foo Foo- he lost him during an MRI following his stem cell transplant, and SOMEHOW bunny found his way back…(UTUBE threatened to pull this because of the song used, but somehow it stayed up!)
This is a blog created about our family- Team Larson... our son, our hero, Coleman went to heaven after his battle with medulloblastoma (brain cancer) at the age of five. Our posts will be about how his mommy, daddy and twin brother Caden remember the past, live in the present and face the future with Coleman watching over them.
Posts
