Saturday, July 17, 2010

Sweet Summertime

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Well, it’s a big day for Team Larson….In a few minutes Caden Dale is headed to his FIRST ever Motocross Race he is PARTICIPATING in! YIKES!!!

I’m not too sure about this whole thing, but Scott assures me it will be good for him- and Caden is SUPER excited about it and has been talking about it all week. He asked me, “what if I don’t win mom?” I asked him back, “What IF you don’t win?” He answered, “it doesn’t matter if I win or lose, cuz it’s just all about havin FUN!” Then added, “but I’m gonna win anyway.” Haha- I guess it’s good he has some confidence- and I think it will be good for him to learn a thing or two. We’ll see how it all goes…he said, “I think I’m just a ROOKIE…right?”

He just finished up swimming lessons last night- and has improved a LOT since last year- thanks to his awesome teacher Morgan, (who he loves!) He went off the board by himself, and even learned how to dive off the side- Just being in the water so much here at home and at the pool has made a big difference.
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(yeah, that one was an OUCH! haha)
He got better with practice...

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The summer is flying by so quickly! Here’s a video I made of Caden so far this summer- some of the pictures you might have already seen, some are new- he loves this song…


Dinner conversation one night last week:
Caden: Mom, your fried chicken is pretty good…it gets like 3rd place… Kentucky Fried is first place.

Me: Who’s is second place?

Caden: I don’t know….I haven’t tasted it yet, but yours is third….
Then he continued- When you make cinnamon rolls, yours get second place. Dad’s get first place, and my school’s………………………they get……… FAT-@$$ last! They’re YUCKY!!!!

(insert me choking on my chicken!)

Speaking of meal-time, one night I made home-made pizza. Scott (aka Mr. Picky! ;) always has to have his own side of the pan, with only meat, while Caden and I load our side with veggies. We ate our meal, and then before bed Scott had a left over piece. He sat there after he ate it and asked, “man, what spices did you put on that pizza?” I said, “I just put a little oregano flakes- that’s it…and not much.” He sat there licking his lips and said, “well, do those get HOT the longer they sit? Because my mouth is burning! didn’t burn like this when I ate it before.” We sat there for about ten minutes as he downed a glass of ice water, still complaining of how his mouth was really HOT.

Caden finally BURST out laughing and said, “well, I put PEPPER ALL OVER THAT PIECE! And then I covered it all up with parmasean cheese, so ya wouldn’t SEE IT! Hahaha, you’ve been PRANKED DAD!” He got SUCH a kick out of it. He couldn’t stop laughing! (Scott and I had to laugh too…) But he told Caden, “OH- you just wait….”

A couple of weeks later we came in the house for lunch and Scott started making Caden some macaroni and cheese…after he started boiling the noodles he realized we were out of milk…so he asked me, “do you think I could use some of your coffee creamer?” I told him I didn’t think French Vanilla creamer and mac and cheese would work! He tried it anyway, but didn’t say anything to Caden about it. He dished him up a plate and Caden gobbled it down and even asked for more!

(it was so gross smelling- I could barely STAND smelling it!) While he was on his second helping I asked him how he liked Daddy’s mac and cheese? He said, “IT’S GOOD! I think Dad must-a used extra cheese or somethin’…it’s DELICIOUS!” (Scott and I looked at each other and had a hard time keeping a straight face.) Later I told Caden what dad’s secret ingredient was- (Caden hates the smell of coffee or creamer usually) and he said “WHHHAAAATTTT? ARRRRRRR- UHGGGGG…. I guess dad DID get me back!He sat there for a few minutes and said,.......but it WAS kinda good!”

I’m glad I’m staying OUT of their little pranks! :) so far anyway! I want NO part of that!

The other morning when Caden woke up he came downstairs. He threw his arms around me and hugged with all his might…repeating, “I love you mommy- so much….I love you- you’re the best- I just want you to know how much I love you.” Now usually he’s pretty affectionate, but this was way over the top, so I knew something was up. I asked him what all the ‘I love you’s’ were about? He asked, “Didn’t you hear me crying last night? I had a REALLY bad dream!” I asked him what it was about, but he just said, “Please don’t make me tell you mom….PLEASE don’t.” So we just sat there in silence and I soaked up all the loving…

Later that day I told him I felt bad for him that he had a bad dream. I told him I knew how real they can seem, because sometimes I have them too, but we always wake up, and we can be so thankful that it wasn’t real…it was just a dream. He said, “yeah, except SOMEtimes the bad dreams ARE real,
like, you know….what happened to Coleman.”

How could I argue with that? How many times have I wished Coleman’s cancer and all of his ‘having to be braves’ to just all be a bad dream? Too many times to count.

So now, we have added extra prayers to his night time prayers for only GOOD DREAMS…and for his angels to watch over him as he sleeps.
He, Scott and I all have our ‘moments’…There will forever be something missing- Coleman was such a HUGE part of us, that none of us can never be whole again, but we’re slowly learning to deal with it in the way that’s best for us- and that’s not always the same for each of us as the same given moment…but we’re learning as we go.

I’m not sad for Coleman- I know he’s having a WEE OLD time where he is! WE JUST MISS HIM! It means so much to us to continue to hear how his life has left an impact…thank you to all who CONTINUE to send us notes and messages- you will never know how VERY much it means to know he’s remembered.

Last Sunday in church a very talented man from our church sang the song, “I Can Only Imagine”…It brought tears to my eyes- I have always loved this song, and listened to it with Coleman many times. When I heard it again, it reminded me I started a video of Coleman to this song, but had never completed it, so I pulled it back up this week and put the finishing touches on it.

I often wonder what Coleman did when he first saw Jesus face to face. I remember when we were in New York and he was meditating in karate class. They all had their eyes closed and told them to think of the most beautiful place they could imagine, and Coleman had this look on his face of pure joy as he whispered, “Dod!” I will never forget that look. Ever.

When I think about it, at first I thought Coleman would have so many questions for Jesus, but then- I remembered the fact when Coleman asked a question, most of the time he didn’t want YOU to answer, he wanted to ask it, then HE would answer it himself! THAT was Coleman! :)

So I imagine him talking everyone’s ears off up there- with an audience who doesn’t say, “just a minute, I need to finish this and THEN you can tell me…” (yeah, I cringe when I think of the times I said that to him)- I also remember him telling me, “well…..if I was a MOM and I had a TID, I would NOT yust say wait a minute, I would det that TID what HE wanted WIGHT NOW!” hahhaha- like I’ve said, he was one smart cookie, and definitely knew how to work me!

Anyway, here is the video I finished
“I Can Only Imagine”… what WILL it be like when WE meet Jesus?

Okay, I’m off to Caden’s race- it’s a beautiful day for it! Thanks for checking in on us and for your messages of support. I’ll have to update again POST race and let you know how MR ROOKIE did! :)

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  1. Dear Sweet Peggy ~ Crying big time here! I love that song, too and the video is Perfect for Coleman!! I miss him so much, so I know that your family must really ache for him!

    Coleman was a "life-changer" in my life. Oh, how I Prayed for him and to be honest, seldom does a day pass that I don't think of him! AND, You and Scott and Caden! And, I Pray for you every time!!

    I want to ask your permission to post this video on my blog. I "need" to write about Cman and how Our Lord used him in my life. Let me know if that's okay.

    I LOVE all of the Caden stories! Esp. the cinnamon rolls that come in LAST! Without a doubt, "Dod" gave you twins for a wonderful reason! HE knew every step Cman would take before he was born! Evert detail of his Sweet little life! And, that his time here would not be long, (well...not long enough for us down here!!) but, long enough to do ALL that he was sent to do!! So he made sure that you had another Special boy to help you through the dark times! And, What a boy your Caden is!! He just delights my Heart and Soul!

    I look forward to hearing how his first motor cross race went! And, I have to ask... Did he do a major "belly flop" in that first picture on the diving board?" ;D

    Hey, Caden!! You have a WONDER-FULL rest of the summer!

    Big Hugs to you All! Love In Jesus ~ JO

  2. I read through your blog and the tears just start when I read "Grief is a journey…and just when you think MAYBE you have a handle on it, and you’re going along, something comes and stabs you in the heart again… Caden wanted me to measure and weigh him last week- Inside our pantry door we started marking the boys heights and weights way back when…after I marked Caden he went off to play, and I just sat staring at that door and it hit me so hard that Coleman’s mark was never going to move…and the tears flowed." I know what you are saying, I was just there the other day, a glance at the wall and knowing it will never move. Something we have to move through in order to move forward even if we keep hitting the road blocks. I will keep you all in my prayers.